What should I do?

Question

My wife is very abusive. I take what she gives, cause her good points far outweigh her bad points, and she isnt abusive that often. However, last Sunday night we were at her parents house for a bbq. We were all sitting around talking and joking around. I said something that was insulting to her, in jest, not seriously meaning what I said, and everyone should have known it. She was holding a hot spatula and slapped me with it, and I just snapped. I dont remember doing it, but I punched her in the face. Then me and her father got into a fight, and later I was arrested for domestic violence. She has left me and is staying at her parents now, and I just got out of jail this morning. I love her very much, and I didnt even realize that I was going to do anything until after I did it. It was like it all happened in a split second and I was outside of myself watching it. I know im probably going to serve some time, as I deserve to, but I dont know where to go from here. Any advice?

I understand that its my fault to, im not looking for or offering excuses. If I would have had time to think before I reacted, she wouldnt have been hit at all. I dont believe in violence, and I deserve twice as much as whatever is done to me. The problem is that I still love her so much that it hurts.

Answer 1

D-I-V-O-R-C-E O-F C-O-U-R-S-E

Answer 2

Get counceling and fast. If she wants 2 go with you great if not please atleast get yourself some help.

since it was a mutually combatitive situation and she hit you first she should have went 2 jail also. its so unfair that its always blammed on the man when in fact some woman r far more abusive.

there is never a reason 2 hit someone EVER. If a relationship gets 2 that point then it should be ended before something more dangerous happens. Abuse untreated never gets better but only worse as time goes on. get help, please. If only 4 your sanity

good luck

Answer 3

sounds like she is not the only abusive one. anyways i dont know the rules in your state but i pressed charges on my ex husband for domestic violence. he did 3 days jail time, had 2 years probation ( $2,000 ) and also weekly domestic violence classes which costed around $50 each for about 2 years. so i never heard the end of it how its all MY fault HE had to pay and how HE would never forgive ME for what a rotten peice of **** I was.

Answer 4

Speak to an advocate for the court and find out what kind of counseling and/or treatment you would be required to take as a sentence. Then go and get into it before they tell you to. If your wife will talk to you (after you start your counseling) go to some couples counseling cause sounds like she has issues to. Hope you document the spatula smack...could be self defense...but DUDES SHOULD NEVER TOUCH THE CHICK.....IT'S ALWAYS OUR FAULT.

Answer 5

I have seen this kinda thing a few times.
There is no excuse for hitting someone.Male or female.Female or male.
Your wife needs to realise that hitting you is not acceptable,and you also need to find another way to deal with it(other than snotting her one back!)
What i find funny in these situations is that the wife is suddenly the victim,and everyone thinks you are the bad guy.That sucks.
If you guys can't work it out,cop the punishment if your lawyer can't get you off,and move on.

Answer 6

she hit you w/an object and that was assualt and battery, she should have been arrested too, don't be a chump for her,
make her get ALSO counseling before you return to her it will only escalate. some women get over bearing around their families, this isn't anything new.

Answer 7

Well, I'm not sure what kind of legal trouble you're in - but regardless of that, the #1 thing to do at the moment is to file for divorce.

Answer 8

Wow...you can not control your anger, so anger mangement is needed, whether or not your wife will take you back is another story. You crossed the line and will be hard coming back over that line.

Answer 9

Get her to go to anger managment or counseling together.