Don't get me wrong, I have custody of my 7-year-old son and would never think of giving him over to my ex. It's just that I recently overheard some people talking negatively about how this woman didn't have custody of her kids. When a person hears a man doesn't have his children, that is widely accepted as normal. Why can't it be acceptable for a woman to do this? Again, I am NOT giving up my child. I'm just curious. It doesn't seem fair at all. Any thoughts?
2007-03-28 13:54:49 · 17 answers · asked by paddington_ck 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are right, it's not fair. However, the best parent should have full custody and sometimes that is the father. Maybe the mother is just not maternal. Not anything wrong with that...but the father is more nurturing. The child then could go visit the mother on some weekends to keep the relationship. You can't imagine giving up your son because you are maternal. Some women are just not cut out to be mothers no matter how hard they try. Sadly, they don't realize it until it is too late. As you well know, having a baby means that kid will be around at least 18 years or longer! Great question, Sweetie.
2007-03-28 14:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the perfect question with an honest answer that will never be known.. I have 3 children, I have 1 girl and 2 boys, when I got my divorce I was not stable, did not know where I was or who I was in life.. Me and my ex husband sat and decided it would be better for the boys to be raised by a man... We decided that he would take the boys and I would take our little girl.. at the time it was a great idea, and now to this day still is, they all get what they need and want in life because they are not all together all the time.. BUT for me it is really hard, yes I do love my kids and did make this decision for the best in there life.. But people dont look at me right if I just come out and tell them that I have 3 kids but the other 2 live with there dad... I am frowned upon, looked at like some crazy crack head that could not take care of her kids... In fact that is not it.. We spend the same amount of time with them.. So to answer you question it is truly unfair to be looked at this way.. but I think I did it to myself.. now when I meet people I dont even say anything about my kids, dont mention that I even have them, until I know the person because being prejudged is hard.. Now my ex husband oh lord he is a saint, he is the one of them great fathers cause he has his kids...I dont want to keep going even tho I could for hours..but that is how I feel
2007-03-28 21:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the woman is supposed to be the nurturing one so most of the time the courts award the kids to them.Recently the courts are starting to see that many times it's better to let the father raise the kids.There are more cases of bad mothers being looked at in the court system today and when a mother looses her kids people usually connect her with being a bad mother.Also there are more woman giving there custodial rights up to the man because they want to be free to do what ever.
2007-03-28 21:34:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive had people ask me why i have custody of mine and tell me that i shouldn't because I'm a man and a child should be with there mother .Why is that? The reason i do is because I'm a much better parent then she was maybe that's what they where looking at that she is an unfit person
The reason they don't look at men that way is because years ago man was the bread winner in the family just old ways of thinking .
2007-03-28 21:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband has custody of my kids because I am in the military... I have to answer this question all the time, and a lot of people assume I must have really screwed up to "lose my kids". We still have a great relationship, people just aren't used to seeing such a thing. But no one knows the truth but those involved.
2007-03-28 21:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by SB76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it's pretty hard for a woman to be turned down Custody. Judges usually award the mother her children.
2007-03-28 21:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already answered your own question... "I have custody of my 7-year-old son and would never think of giving him over to my ex." Why would you never think of giving him over? Because there seems to be a bond between a woman and her children that is so strong that they would do anything to preserve it. Men generally, don't form as strong of nurture type bond. So it makes sense that society would frown on women who get custody of their kids. It doesn't make it right, but that is why.
2007-03-28 21:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by sickblade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I dont know bout over in US, but over here in AUS - it depends on what the child wants and who the child wants to live with. I know I lost custody of my son when he was 8, at that point in time he wanted to live with his father, many years later I gained custody of my son cause the fact is that he wanted to live back with me. Dont dare any of you judge a woman because she loses custody of their child, yes most cases the mother is given custody but not these days and not over here, many men have full custody of their children, some women are unfit, I wasnt proved unfit - my child just wanted to live with his father for a few years and thats it.
2007-03-28 21:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Double standard...why should a man be looked down upon when his lazy wife takes advantage of him providing all the$$$ for the family but won't clean the house or the kids and then gets the house foreclosed on...but the Fng court thinks it's OK for the kids to be with her...WTF is up with that...judges get to judge w/ their own experience and it doesn't have to make sense...their is definitely a double standard.
2007-03-28 21:40:18 · answer #9 · answered by Cadman1965 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They aren't looked down upon. People are just curious about why the one who didn't have custody wasn't given it.
Negative people should be avoided at all costs. They are ONLY relating on you their own experiences.
2007-03-28 21:04:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋