Ok, so about 3 weeks ago I was poking around on the internet and I decided to erase all the websites my husband and I visited. I found one that sounded innocent but I didnt reconize it so I went on it and it was HARD Core porn. I am a very jealous person anyway so when I found this I freaked! My husband works late and by the time he gets home @ 3:00am, I am asleep. He denied it at first and then later admitted to it when I told him I wanted the truth or I was leaving. He refuses to tell me why he did it or what I am doing wrong to make him do this. What is going on here? Is he trying to tell me i'm not attractive or is he just a pervert? What do I do? It has been eating at me for 3 weeks! Help!
2007-03-28 13:40:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Even though he isnt cheating on me it still feels like he is. He gets all turned on by these images and then wants me with them still fresh on his mind! I feel like he is a cheater and I dont know how to not hate him for it. I feel so betrayed and ugly. We have only been married since August! I need some one who has had the same problem and knows what I am going through. Please stop telling me that hes just being a guy!
2007-03-29 14:17:36 · update #1
No, if He was being a " good " guy, He would be paying more attention to you, especially in the 1st year.....WOW !! The memories came flooding up....sorry ! We have been married since 1959, and girl, even now, when she gets undressed, I don't need " No Porn " at all !!!! Good Luck !!
2007-04-02 16:24:52 · answer #1 · answered by fuzzypetshop 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was in the same boat as you last week - and yes, I'm jealous too. Honestly, I don't care if he does it once in a while, that's normal, but if he's doing it all the time then that's a problem. There is nothing wrong with you, he's not a pervert, but you need to sit down with him and talk about it - calmly. You aren't making him do this - sometimes guys just need 'visual'. I wish I could give you better advice cause I know what you are going through. Maybe compromise, tell him you'll walk around nude if he stops looking at porn lol :)
2007-04-03 14:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by LEWG 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. I have gone through this as well. My husband went as far as putting these pictures in his phone. What really bothered me about my situation and yours is that they look at this stuff and then get all turned on and want to have sex with you. My problem was that you were not turned on by me it was this other chick and you are all over me because I am here and accessible. This hurts and you all need to talk about your feelings. I have talked about this with mine and I don't know if he has stopped but I have not seen it on his cell phone or on the computer anymore. Ask your husband if you are enough for him and why do he have to look at those types of sites. Maybe you guys need to explore some new (safe) things in the bed room that will get him thinking about you and not those nasty Internet sites. Take Care and good luck to you!
2007-04-03 11:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how about turning this around? Instead of feeling jealous how about joining him in his porn site visits at the wee hours of the morning and let whatever happen, happen....
We get so caught up in the married life, working, raising children, we forget to make time to keep our partners satisfied, and the next thing u know someone is cheating because the passion is gone or someone is "too tired".
Don't lose the passion in your married sweetie, give him what he likes -- soon enough the porn site will be hardly visited.
2007-04-04 12:57:13 · answer #4 · answered by Honeyluv 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, with all the people telling you he is just being a guy that has to really sting, eh? Anyway... you do have some right to feel that way, naked women are in front of his face and they are not you. He WANTS to have sex with them but only has sex with you. Be thankful that he has not went out and slept with someone he dosent know and stays with you. It is nothing to leave him over, just ask him to cut it out ... OR look at it with him ... maybe it could be something you 2 could get into together... seeing other people having relations could spark a fire in your sex life.
2007-04-04 15:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men like porn......I don't have a problem with my husband looking at porn. That's just a fantisy that they cant have and when he looks at it I get Really lucky. The problem that I would have if it was a chat room etc where he was talking to women that are "real" that is when he is cheating. Do hot men get you hot???????
2007-03-29 01:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its got to be very confusing for you. He loves you and still gets aroused by these images of other women (hopefully women).
But, you know ... its not really the women. Its the raw sensuality of the images that make pornography so alluring. But, as we all know, sexual needs are really only met in loving and safe relationships -- but it takes some focus to get there; and talking about our sexual needs seems so awkward for otherwise responsible husbands and wives. Why? Becuase sexual desires are often overpowering. So, we're afraid of them, hide them, and can't talk freely with anyone about them.
So ... by talking about sex together, and sharing your desires with each other ... the 'meeting' of those deep desires removes the allure of pornography completely.
A site that my wife and I have used often, to open the channels of communication about our sexual desires is themarriagebed.com
I've referenced the link below. Instead of going crazy about your husband looking at these images, please try going to this site together and sharing your respective views about the topics discussed by normal people. One thing is for sure, you won't solve this issue without accepting each other ... along with your possible differences in sexual needs.
Discovery is so much better than denial or repression. Hopefully you will discover wonderful things you can share together for the rest of your lives. Learn to be 'generous' with each other.
2007-04-02 13:22:35 · answer #7 · answered by Sultan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men love porn and no matter how happily married they are they will still watch it. Yes I know it's gross but something that will drive him even more crazy is if you offer to watch it with him....you might like it
2007-04-04 12:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by kca_cheercoach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's natural for guys to love porno pics.my husband sometimes is browsing from the internet some picture of this porn girls...sometimes i watch it with him!its ok with me aslong as he does not go out with other girls and cheat on me!!guys will always be guys!its their nature ....
2007-04-01 23:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by shen tiao 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chill out, maybe he was just trying to spice things up a bit, don't freak out about that kind of stuff
2007-04-03 18:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by Joy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋