I have a one month old baby and I stay up all night and all day with her because my fiancee seems to believe that because he has a job he dont have to get up at night with her. How can I get him to realize, he helped bring her into this world so he needs to help with her. If he dont help with her Ill never get any sleep staying up all night with her and all day. please help.
2007-03-28 13:03:47 · 8 answers · asked by MiSs Staci 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
One thing you might try is leaving the baby with him for a whole day (one of his days off) -- if you think he's capable of caring for her, that is; if not, you'll need to teach him.
Then he'll learn for himself that when he's working, so are you.
Then maybe you two can come to some compromises.
You should stop trying to get all your sleep at night, and take a lot of naps during the day, so you're less exhausted.
When she's asleep, you should try to sleep, too.
It is hard to get up in the middle of the night and then get up with the alarm, so maybe you should drop the idea that he needs to get up.
Instead, in the time he's home and awake, he should take care of the baby so you can have some breaks.
What he isn't realizing is, his job is 40 hours a week; yours is 24 x 7 per week.
As I say, leaving her completely to him for some big hunk of time may show him how hard it is.
Part of what's going on is just a universal truth: when you have a baby, forget about sleeping the first few months. This is what parents say.
If you have family near, you might also see if they can give you some breaks -- mom comes over for an afternoon, and you go nap at her house, for instance (or a sibling or friend or whoever).
It is draining to get so little sleep for such a long time, and makes you crazy.
But try all of these things, sleeping more during the day, getting him to take over when he gets home, and getting people in to give you breaks.
If he absolutely refuses to be a parent, get counseling. If he really thinks his sole role in the relationship is his 9 to 5 job, the marriage simply won't work.
2007-03-28 17:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put your foot down, girl. I had the same problem with my husband ,when our son was born. Now, we have a month and a half old little girl, as well, and he helps out a lot. I set him straight, this time, before she ever arrived. Although, if you feel that his guidance may be a threat to the baby, when she, then do not allow him to help. Just ask for a family member or friends help.
2007-03-28 20:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy-fied 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet you never thought of these things before you got pregnant it sounds to me like neither of you was ready for this now its time to pay the piper. My opinion is that he can help out with things but for him to get up at night with the baby then get up to go to work can start to make him worn down where he can't work. Your telling me that the baby is up 24/7? Your learn to take cat naps and when he comes home he should let you get some rest help change diapers etc. But he's up every morning going to work to pay for things and when he comes home he's tired. I doubt he's going to work and he kicks up his feet up on the desk and sleeps. The good thing as the weeks go by the baby sleeps more........
2007-03-28 20:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiancee is already taking care of you and helping to take care of your baby by working and earning the money for all of you.
If you think that his part is easier than yours, then perhaps the two of you should try changing places to make it fair.
You go out and earn the money for the whole family. And he will stay home and take care of the baby.
2007-03-28 20:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i have a full time job, 3 daughters, a home and a husband and I manage to care for all of them and on 4-7 hr of sleep get over it
2007-03-28 20:23:48 · answer #5 · answered by Christina 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He needs to help you on his days off so that you can get some rest. Sit down and talk to him, and do not nag, men hate that.
2007-03-28 20:22:55 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make a compermise
every other day he has to check on ur baby
and if that does not work then while u should be making dinner sleep
he will probabaly change his mind then
2007-03-28 20:21:25 · answer #7 · answered by monkeyluver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably won't. of course if you let the kid cry and push him out of bed, you can "encourage" him in that way. this is a part of the responsibility that is marriage - and raising a child.
2007-03-28 20:28:17 · answer #8 · answered by mike s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋