Do they think they will get a better tip by doing this???

Question

Why when paying a bill at a restaurant does your server ask, "Do you need change?" Yes I need the change! You give me the change and I will give you the tip after I get it...lets not be so presumptuous! also, why do they need to ask my CHILDREN if they would like dessert? I do not know about the rest of you guys, but that kind of annoys me. I tend to tip less than my 20 percent when these events occur.....

OK guys I have read some of your responses and some of you have put things in a better perspective for me. I can understand the time constraints, but I would rather my server say"I'll be right back with your change,"giving me the opportunity to say"Thats ok, keep the change" In regards to giving them an opportunity to interact with my children, "How old are you? or what grade are you in?" seems to suffice for me....Maybe they are told my the restaurant managers to ask my children if they want dessert, but who is paying the bill here? I think it is more of trying to push something on a customer in hopes of me giving in to avoid a tantrum, thankfully which my kids have not done, knowing how we would react to that. In regards to having respect, I DO have respect for these guys. One new waitress accidently knocked a glass of water over my toddler's head...she was not hurt, only wet and we said Hey dont worry about it no harm done, we felt bad for her.

Sorry, I ran out of space...In no way did this effect her tip...I am just saying I notice not everyone does this, and I am much apt to leave a bigger tip when they DONT do this.....

Answer 1

Ok...to start out..I am a server...and I NEVER ask if anyone needs change..If it is even a penny, I always bring change. It is rude to ask that question. When I train employees I tell them NEVER to ask that, just assume. Although I do hear people in the restaurant I work ask that. I also don't ask children if they want dessert, because typically that is not their decision to make. I know there are a lot of gripes about servers because many don't care about their job. Personally I am a college student and I do care about my job because what I make depends on how well I take care of my guests.

Answer 2

As a former server I can say that I tried to avoid asking people if they needed change and would just bring it. Having said that, it did happen from time to time just because it's a PITA to leave, go make change, and come back only to find that the people have left already. It would have been nice if they'd said, "No change. Thanks" Then I know that I can go about another task that needs doing rather than making needless change.

In a restaraunt every little second you as a server spend counts because every customer thinks they are the only one there and they should get what they want now so when you have customers that are "wasting your time" making you make change when you don't need to be, it's frustrating.

So I think more than being rude or presumptuous the server is just trying to save themselves a trip, which is understandable, I think. And not that servers should "expect" a tip, but at the same time... it is kind of a given. After all, it is a taxable part of our income and just because we don't make it doesn't mean we don't get taxed on it because we do. They base what they tax us on based on our sales and paying taxes for money you're not even making sucks, in a word.

Hope that helps you to feel less offended the next time a server asks.

As for asking the kids for dessert... your kids are people, too and the server is most likely just trying to be polite and friendly, and maybe likes kids so is taking advantage of an opportunity to interact with them.

Answer 3

Look at it from their perspective for a second..

.. Say you are a Secret Shopper and they don't ask any of those questions, they will get a bad score and possibly get fired. They HAVE to suggest a sale, they have to ask if you want change because every second counts.. that is all.

You should just have a little bit more respect for these workers as they 1) do everything for you including throwing away YOUR trash, 2) usually get paid minimum wage plus any tips (which are sometimes divided among all of the servers in the restauraunt) 3) you might say "if they don't like it leave" but really.. somebody's gotta do it, and you aren't so have some respect for people who are doing a job that you obviously have never done and may never have to do.. but rest assured, when you what to go out and have a nice meal, they will be there to SERVE you.

Have a nice day.

Answer 4

I notice I have felt it was rude when the server was not good. If they ask me if I want change and there service was not good , im thinking YOU KNOW I WANT CHANGE. But if the service was good and they ask I dont take it personally.

I know being a server is a difficult job in in some states they are paid hourly WAY below the minumum wage. In Tn and Ky they are paid less than 2.50 an hour. But in California they are paid minmum wage plus tips which they are taxed on.
BUT knowing these things does not excuse bad service. Servers know they work for tips mainly so there service should be that much better.

Asking kids if they want desert is a no brainer of course there going to say yes there kids in that line of thinking THEY HAVE NO MONEY would you offer desert to someone you KNEW could not pay for it? NO. Common sense would say ask the person paying . That really ticks me off too and I will usually take a few percent off.

Answer 5

You must realize that servers are sometimes very busy and it is more fast and efficient to simply ask if you want change rather than make an unnecessary additional trip. Sometimes servers are trying to take care of all customers with a limited amount of time and you should consider this. In my experience, that question only gets asked when the change is close to the "appropriate" amount. It would be different if they asked you if you wanted change of $100 for a $50 check. I don't think that is the case.

Answer 6

You bring up some good points. I never thought about it before but I can see how annoying it can be. I always just respond "Yes, thank you" or "yes, please"... it's my way of being polite and I tip from my change. Maybe it is "policy" where they are told to ask this... maybe the same with the dessert thing. I know when I take children out for a meal, I know their little tums really can't handle everything in such a short period so I always plan to get a dessert "to go" and let the service know that with our meal order.

Regarding the change matter... you may consider just cordially asking "why do ask patrons if we want change? Doesn't that seem presumptuous for you to think that I wouldn't". I know I'm certainly going to ask that now that you brought it to my attention. Thanks.

Answer 7

I can appreciate the server's reasons. It's not the best paid job in the world, so any opportunity to earn a bit more is understandable. Being asked "is everything okay?" is a bit annoying, but I don't reduce the tip as a result of this, after all they're only doing their job, it has to be better than a surly and unhelpful server.

Answer 8

I serve in a really nice restuarant and have been serving for awhile now. I always try my best avoid asking if someone needs change. It'd be ok I guess if you where at IHOP or Shoneys I guess but not with the clientel I deal with. The desert thing though is a requirement although I always look at the parents when asking about desert. I sometimes even feel bad asking when there are kids but its something you have to do.

Answer 9

Tipping, I understand, is almost obligatory in the US. Here in Australia, it is not required, and in most of the restaurant's I've been in, and that's quite a few, it's not even looked for. Maybe it is in the more upmarket places, but not where 'regular' people go. . . .and definitely not in the fast (junk) food restaurants.

Answer 10

because they don't make a lot of money so they try what ever they can to make more.....at some restaurants, managers give the staff a hard time if they don't try to sell extras.... just how things are. what re ya going to do? don't sweet the small stuff.