why are some people nicer to thier friends than they are thier own spouse. They just vent on thier spouse
2007-03-28 12:30:11 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because they care how they are perceived by their friends and they rely upon their spouse to accept them in all their moods.
People forget that spouses should be eachother's biggest and greatest fans, the cheerleaders who will always lie to them and tell them they are terrific, and the soft place to come home to when things get so bad that venting is the only thing left to do.
I have one piece of advice for you. the next time he starts to vent, just pause it for a moment and tell him....you know he is upset and you also know it isn't really about you or anything you have done but because you are his biggest fan and you love him to death so you are going to give him ten minutes to rant and rave and get everything off of his chest.
Then you give him those ten minutes and let him blow himself out. I bet you both start laughing before the ten minutes is up.
The thing is, everyone, even you, gets that way some times and we all need a release.
Good luck.
2007-03-28 12:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people are nicer to friends because they want the friends to think of them as nice. So, they are nicer to the friends.
If the recipient spouse does not address the vent issue, then---in a way--the venting spouse is being taught how to treat the recipient spouse.
Not to justify them, but some people do not know, or they simply disregard the saying, "...love starts at HOME, THEN spreads abroad..."
So, basically, some people (who vent on spouse, but are nicer to friends) are hypocrites.
2007-03-28 13:47:07 · answer #2 · answered by divabylaw 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They feel that their spouse will accept them anyway even though it is not right its like they think they can get away with bad behavoir to the spouse because he/she loves them-where as with friends they want to always be the best they can-friends tend to tell you where to go sooner than a spouse!
2007-03-28 12:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by roxy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because their spouse loves them so much they fell they can do anything and they will stick by them...for better and worse and all. Freinds come and go like the wind, get someone mad and they will never speak to you again.
A spouse is safe, they will always forgive you (to a point, anyway).
2007-03-28 12:41:10 · answer #4 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Excellent question. I don't know the answer. Maybe they take for granted the fact that us spouses deserve a little kindness too.
2007-03-28 12:34:31 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people feel they can just be themselves at home with their spouse and they feel they have to be a certain way with friends.
2007-03-28 13:27:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they know they have unconditional love with their spouse and they will love them no matter what. Not always the case but is with some.
2007-03-28 13:16:18 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
same reason that people treat their family's badly but their friends great they think they can because they will love you no matter what but most people wont stay and be friends with jerks who talk bad to them forget their birthdays wont help them when they need it etc we take the ones we love for granted because we think when someone loves you they will forever and so its a free pass to take advantage of them i know men who wont help their wife's at home but if a buddy calls needing help to move or paint his house he is all over it and wife's who wont ask or listen to how there husbands day was but will sit for hours and gossip or chat with a friend who is having problems!
2007-03-28 12:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats because they probably do the same thing.. and they know them longer than they know their spouse.. or probably they feel more open with their friends.. how the hell are they gonna come and tell u.. honey a gal winked at me today at work? or honey today i saw a tall pretty lady with short skirt and high heels walking pass me.. man her a** was fine! ---->> do u think u will be still sitting and listening to him? and same goes for a gal.. do u think her husband would wanna listen.. oh my boss said i look sexy in this white dress today.. or do u think he will listen that u actually kissed someone in the lift in your past! helllll no man.. this will never happen..
thats why the opt for their friends.. who will be like.. oh i c.. so how was it!
simple isnt it.
2007-03-28 13:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by DJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They are not happy in their relationship. It might be from pressure, or work, but the spouse is not getting something from the relationship he or she needs.
2007-03-28 12:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by Rose 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋