Ok, need to run this by some girls/guys..my husband and I have been married for 4 years..we've just moved into this new town and my husband has become more vain about his appearance..needless to say..he has been talking a lot more with this co-worker who invited us out with her and her husband who have been married a year. All of a sudden now they've been asking us to come out to places I really don't care to go to. My husband loves hanging out with them. The girl asks him and pulls the my husband wants to invite you guys out..and she has a way to contact me to ask me but hasn't. Anyways I seldom like going out on week nights.. so my husband ended up going tonight. She's becoming way too friendly with him.. Do you think he should have gone without me..? Do you think its wrong to be hanging out with a couple and him (my husband) I would feel awkward. Should I be worried? I really don't like hanging out with these people.
2007-03-28 12:26:58 · 17 answers · asked by MATW 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
stop..
2007-03-28 12:35:31 · answer #1 · answered by coffee37man 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You really should sit down and have a talk with your husband about all of this. After 4 years of marriage you should feel like you are a team, you are on the same side, at least. Tell him that you need to set some boundaries with these new friends of his. Tell him that you don't really care for these people and ask him why he likes them so much. Try to listen carefully and watch his reactions. Make sure to make eye contact with him to make sure he is telling you the truth. Tell him you would prefer that the wife calls you to make arrangements or the husband calls him. Tell him you feel this is more considerate. Ask him not to ditch you to spend time with them. Make sure he is not spending time just with her and make it clear that you don't feel this is appropriate.
You are right to be concerned because this is odd behavior. However, without more information, it is hard to say what you should be concerned about, exactly. He should not go out without you, especially if you're not going because you don't feel comfortable around those people.
Just talk to your husband and try to get to the bottom of this. Good luck.
2007-03-28 19:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sara B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recommend you tell your husband that you are very uncomfortable with the situation, and you would rather he not go out with them without you. Ask him to respect your wishes, and you will agree to go out with them a couple times a month, as a couple. Recommend that from now on, if they want to get together then he should just say, "Hey, I think my wife and I have plans, why don't you give her a call and check." Have him put the ball in your court. Quite honestly, and I am sorry to say this, but it almost sounds like she has the hots for him and is making her move. Since your his wife, he should be respecting your feelings and not ignoring you.
2007-03-28 19:47:03 · answer #3 · answered by sarlha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to look at how the other wife and husband,
are looking at yours. (husband)
Keep a close eye on the things that you would never look for.
In this new age threeways are a popular thing they might be interested in his company and not yours.
Does he dress diffrently, smell diff.. Try or want to try new and adventuris things that have never been in your relationship before. It is a possibality that in his eyes, he is missing something that is not there for him, the way he is fantasying of..............Spend an evening trying to suduce him with one of his wildest fantasys, that you would never do, and play it by ear.........Does he enjoy, or does he lag to join in your new
idea, for the special evening you have taken this time, and imagination to plan. Stick with your gut feeling's most of the time they are right <<<<
2007-03-28 20:55:48 · answer #4 · answered by dkirkauto 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wrong, wrong. Red flags at right up there at full mast and the siren should keep on wailing out loud. You're husband wants to have an affair with his co-worker and she reciprocates. Their friendship must come to a full stop... or else. (He should know better! Gimme a break).
2007-03-28 20:19:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your hubby why does he feel so obliged to going and saying yes to everything she asks of him. tell him you dont like her (give him the reason) cause you know womens gut instincts are often right, besides who is to say that the first time you did go out that this bloke (sposedly her hubby) wasnt just a friend and they made out that they were, only to get your hubby out alone with her in future, cause your hubby knows your thoughts about it - this could be game to them both, cause they have all the time in the world to scheme up something whilst they are at work together. put a stop to it now or leave him
2007-03-28 21:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big red flag with the appearance thing. And, no, your husband shouldn't have gone out with you if you didn't want him to. And just talk to him that you don't like those people.
2007-03-28 20:51:09 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I would feel the same way, if I were in your situation. I tend to be a bit on the jelous side, as it is. I don't think that he should have went without you, if he knows how you feel about the whole ordeal. He should respect your feelings, and help to put them at ease.
2007-03-28 20:02:09 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy-fied 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a women's intuition is always right so if you have a bad feeling about this chick than more than likely she is up to something. Your husband probably doesn't see it but it sounds like she is one of those girls who like to steal other peoples men! keep an eye on her and ALWAYS go with you man when he is around her weather you want to or not. you marriage may depend on it!
2007-03-28 19:38:07 · answer #9 · answered by I♥Karma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when couples hang out that it is cool but when 1 partner is does not like going places then your husband should be man enough to not go unless you go too
2007-03-28 19:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by nolet93 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trust your gut.....it is telling you exactly what you are asking......
theres gonna be trouble if it keeps up.
1.be honest with YOUR husband and tell him how you feel.
2. tell him and HER to call YOU if plans are to be made....
3. do not let them be alone...she sounds way too pushy and forward......
4. how does the husband act when you are all together...do they act like newlyweds??? or does he ignore her or what?
many issues going on here...be very careful!!
your husband MUST respect you in this..
2007-03-28 19:57:51 · answer #11 · answered by STARZ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋