please help me solve my problem!?

Question

hi i am a teenager in high school right now and this is kind of personal but i have been having problems w/ my family theyre not serious but theyve affected me because i used to be really outgoing w/ people but now after my problems at home im not outgoing anymore i dunno what happened to me but at school i dont talk... to ANYONE i mean ive got friends obviously but i wish i was more outgoing... like how i used to be and i still like talking to people but ive gotten extremely shy... does anyone have any advice on how i can change this? it just bothers me because i dont say anything, like i cant speak my mind i even tried taking a theater arts class to help me get over my shyness, well the semester is almost over and im not doing any better at speaking my mind and being less shy. i feel like im in some kind of shell seperating me and my peers + it is hard to go through high school when you feel like this... please does anyone have any advice? i would greatly appreciate it!

hey i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who answered your answers made me feel a lot better about this situation! and i am going to take all of your advice and try to fix this problem! thank you very much and just to clear things up my parents arent having problems w/ eachother my problem is that i keep getting into arguments with them and also my brother and i know siblings fight but these are more serious fights

Answer 1

we all go through this and yes even your mom, now go have a talk with her she know's you best.....

Answer 2

My dear friend, dont worry. Its quite a common series of sequences. Very good thing in your question is that you exactly what your problem is and what exactly need to be corrected. Definitely it should be corrected at the earliest, in this competitive world, you should mingle with everyone and more importantly you should market yourself too. But at your age, its quite simple to change and make a difference in your life. One thing which i didnt get is the relationship between your personnel domestic issues and you becoming shy in the school. My way of analylsis is that its quite a common trend in the teenagers. Following might be the possible reason. Since you have very good analysis on yourself, you choose the correct one.
1. As a teenager,you always want to be in heights in your group and wanted to prove it to others. May be you are not successful and turned out to be what you are now.
Sol: 90% will filt into this category. To correct is very simple, just be honest and truth to your friends/relatives and dont mockup anything and always try to accept the truth. Problem will be solved in days time.
2.You always want to 'X' kind of person or want to be in 'X' group. Because of some reasons you were not that kind of person or not in group and start disliking your group and not be talk to them and ended up with current situation.
Sol: Make an effort to be in your group and you will start seeing the change immediately.
Furthur if you feel any help, you can reach me at 9885491430

Answer 3

I can totally relate and I am in my 50's. Yet I can remember what it was like when my parents divorced and prior horrors that led to it. I was in a shell. Pretty shy. In fact my two sisters are to this day anti social.

I started watching comedy shows to make me laugh to take my mind off my family turmoil. If you check out many comedian's history online you will find they turned to comedy because of family situations, be it death, divorce, etc.

I ended up being the class comedian. I got laughs when inside I wanted to cry. To this day those friends from first grade on are still there for me in every horror of my life.

This might not work for you but the library has tons of books on just what you are going thru. I also hung out at the library and read up on everything I was going thru and what other did to resolve it.

High School can be the best time of your life. I found that high school was my escape from the problems at home.

Granted this might not be helpful for you but I sure can sympathize and will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 4

I think it is okay what you are going through. I mean it is normal. There's nothing wrong with you. But you might need to help yourself gain confidence and self-esteem. Our parents are supposed to help us with that by spending time with us, being affectionate, making us believe in ourselves. Some parents aren't doing the best job of it. You really should try to talk to your parents, even if they are having problems. Tell them you need to spend time with them and explain to them how you feel shy and want to have more confidence. Once things are better at home, everything will fall into place.

Answer 5

Is it your last year? During my final year of high school. people got a little distant. As for who you are. Your the same person as before. Try not to change for no one. Just find out what makes you happy and do it.

Answer 6

I well feel for you, I am now alot older 37, but my teenage years were very hard and my parents and I did not see eye to eye. Other teenagers can be very cruel and mean, they can tend to bring your outgoing personality down. Also family problems can also make you feel terrible. I am not sure exactly what problems you are having at home, but if it is abusive you should seek help. Even if it is arguments etc, you need some support from outside your family, someone you can openly talk to, maybe a person not involved in your family that can have an objective opinion. Sometimes when family members are close it is hard for them to actually see the big picture. I know most people have said talk to your family, which is a good answer, but obviously you seem like a smart young person, and if this was a solution then you would have already done this. You are looking for other avenues to address your problems, as either you find it hard to talk with your parents, or they do not seem to understand what you are going through. Parents also find it difficult as we are not given guides to parenting either. I have a 15 year old and a 13 year old, so I know the sorts of problems that you are faced with. I am a parent that does not go around with my eyes shut, both my children openly talk about things, that some parents could not cope with speaking about, I find this alot as my daughters often says you are a great mum. We do spend alot of time together and are very close. She as any teenagers gone through lots of situations you most likely face. But as she could talk to me, I have been lucky she is a great girl. My son is just starting his teenager adventure, and I hope I can be there for him too. Not knowing your exact problems at home, makes it very difficult but you sound very distressed and feeling helpless in your situation. I am very proud of you for reaching out to seek help, this means you are a very strong person and your not as shy as you think. Is there someone maybe a teacher, counsellor or someone at school you can talk too. Sometimes all you need is to talk to somebody, it really helps to talk, I promise. You seem like when you say your in a shell seperating you from your peers, does this mean you feel sad and lonely sometimes. I know when I went through school primary school was so different to high school, girls are very bitchy, boys are struggling to be the tuffest. You face breaks out all the time as you hormones are going wild. Your mind is tossing thoughts around all the time, and pretty much you feel lost and alone. I promise you are not alone and as you age things will get better, even though they do not feel like it at the moment. The most important thing is try and get to talk to someone to understand how your feeling, someone outside your family. I do not know if you belong to a church group. Even if you do not you can often get counselling from these groups. There is also a phone no a Kids Help Line in Australia, it is in the front of the telephone book. If you are overseas I am sure there is something similar. Other options, try joining a group completly away from school, maybe a sport, music, church group, karate, painting whatever you enjoy. Try to focus on your life and do not let your parents problems interfere with your life. Slowly you will gain confidence and feel good about yourself. If you have good friends at school, then try to be a friend and slowly mingle saying hello and smiling. But if they are cruel smart *** friends you need to find other outlet for friendships, and just look at school as a pathway to an education. Not a social event. Learn, study and get to where you want to go, because once school is over, and all the petty stuff that goes on there, doesn't matter in the big world. But if you get a good education and you get a good job and make something of your self. Anyone can do it, you just have to have determination and you will get there. You seem like a nice young person and obviously smart enough to know when your feeling down and wanting help. I know you can do it, but just set a few goals for yourself and slowly work towards them. Do not start off to large, just set something small for yourself to do everyday that makes you happy. It can be as little as a bath or a walk around the block, paint a little where ever you interests lie. Do it for yourself and then slowly you will be focus on your life and not what is happening in your family and school. Sometimes these can not be fixed but you learn methods of dealing with them.
Sorry I have gone on I just feel you in my heart and wish you all the best for your life. And Try to talk to someone outside the family, this is very important. I hope you are feeling a little brighter knowing that all these people care about you. Your life is very important, enjoy it do not waste it.

Answer 7

I'm going through something like this. I think we are shy because we have too many fears, and we don't want to take risks like we usually do. I'm slowly trusting myself again, and so far, it's working. Don't be afraid to say hi to your friends that you've become distant with. It's not like they'll bite, right? Besides, I think they miss the outgoing you, and will gladly welcome you back. :)

Answer 8

Sounds like you need to get your confidence back. Just show alot of confidence not arogance and feel good about yourself.