Stay at Home Moms: How does your day go by?

Question

I've been at home with my baby for 4 months. I am constantly busy, I change, feed, burp, play with baby, put him down for naps, swing him, carry him, talk to him. Then when he's napping or playing by himself, I'm sterilizing bottles, breast pump accoutrements, pumping (oh by the way, I pump exclusively), washing dishes, cleaning up after a dog and myself, doing laundry, running errands, vaccuming, sweeping, cooking, mowing the yard, taking out trash, etc etc. And my dear darling husband wonders how it's possible that I am busy ALL DAY from morning till night, when "all" I have to do is "stay home and take care of the baby." I must add that he is a long haul truck driver, and when he is home for his little weekend, I really do let the house go, so he never sees me doing any of this stuff. He's beginning to act like I am eating bon bons all day, painting my nails and getting a suntan.

Other moms: what do YOU do all day, how do you make it seem worthwhile to your sig. other?

Haha, Chicklet, you made me laugh "tell them... they are living a lie"

righteous.

Answer 1

My partner could care less if I keep up on things around the house because he knows my most important job is raising our son. Of course I don't let things get disgusting but I do it when it needs to be done and if I feel like it. The thing that I focus on is getting out of the house. I've joined a moms group and try to get out at least 2-3 days a week or I'll go to my sisters house. I'm also in the process of starting a candle buisness. I'm also very lucky that I have a good baby, he's pretty much content all day long,and very independant. I do everything with him and like getting him out to intract with other babies.........

Answer 2

My daughter is 21 months old and it does get a little better because they can at least entertain themselves for a bit at a time. Even five minutes can keep you sane sometimes. I am constantly doing something and my husband works W-Sat and is then off for three days in a row, and he usually works 12+ hours a day so he isn't home until late. I to do not do much while he is here because I want family time and the house sure show it! I have explained this to him and he seems to understand, yet I am not sure if he does. Since when he is home he doesn't see me do all of this. You can try to put off the work until he comes home for weekend and then he will see all that you do and he can take care of your baby to give you a break. No one totally understands what other stay at home moms do all day but other Stay at home moms! I am right there with you and so are many many others. Good luck, and know that you should not feel as if what you are doing isn't enough you are raising a child the most important job there is. God Bless!

Answer 3

I'm in this position. I think many partners cannot appreciate all that you do until they have stepped in your shoes. Unfortunately, many won't but you really need to try and get a day off and leave him to care for the kids, shop, cook, clean etc or else he'll never know.

I was sent a joke recently but cannot find it so I will tell you from memory (may not be as funny) but here goes:

" A man comes home from work and finds his children in the front yard, covered in mud and food scraps, playing in the dirt and unsupervised. He goes into the house and sees dirty clothes spread around and toys laying on every spare place of the floor. He goes into the kitchen and sees dirty dishes, no meal prepared, and food splattered all over the floor and walls. On passing the laundrey, washing is overflowing. Heading up the stairs, more toys and discarded food greets him. On getting upstairs, his children's room are absolutely chaotic with everything imaginable thrown all over the room. The bathroom is also a disaster with wet towels, dirty clothes, soap on the floor etc. Finally he reaches his bedroom and finds his wife relaxing with a book, in her pj's, in bed. He looks at her and asks what is going on. She says "you know how you ask me what I could possibly be doing all day" and he says "yes" and she says "well today I didn't do it!!"

Answer 4

They can only see how much you do when they have to do it themselves! But they usually never do because they woldn't do all that you do in a day. I know u want to spend time with him when he's home, but one day just go through your normal routine of cleaning and taking care of the baby & house and when he sees you not sitting on your "bon bon" all day like he thinks you do maybe his outlook on your job will change. My husband used to say the same thing to me "how can you be tired when you don't do anything but sit at home and watch the baby"...... well if you are just "watching" a child its really easy--that is essentially what ones does is sit there and do nothing but take care of the child. However, if you are a wife with a child to TAKE CARE of, along with a husband and a house to take care of then there is usually never enough time in one day. Childen are very needy and take up the majority of your time--and in between that you gotta try to do all this other stuff.....if you don't usually it doesn't get done! Any SAHM who has time to actually sit & "paint nails & get a tan" (LOL!) must be rich and have a nanny! Because I almost never have any extra time to do things for myself! I was going to put my whole day on here but that would take a whole nother page! I've got to get off the pc and go do stuff NOW!!

Answer 5

It will get better!!

Take the weekend off and ask your husband to spend the weekend with your son. Trust me, he'll understand.

I have an 18 month old, but when he was younger I would sleep, tend to baby, and clean. Eating was involved, but usually I tried to keep up with my sleep as well as my baby's sleep. At the time my husband was a 9-1-1 opperator, working 7 pm-7 am. Obviously I would be needing a break when he got home, but he had to sleep for 8 hours, leaving me with just a few hours to myself. It gets overwhelming FAST.

Can I suggest getting together with other mothers or getting a daycar for a few hours a couple times a week? This is really going to start to eat at you.

Answer 6

I hate to break it to you, but the only way anyone will appreciate all that you do is for them to take over for a day. I've been a stay at home mom for 13 months now, and for a year of that I breastfed exclusively. Unfortunately no one has stepped in for me, since mommys don't get vacation days or sick days.
Since she's older now, it's gotten a little less monotonous. Now she has a lot more personality, and no attention span. But she's easier to entertain now that I can tell what makes her happy (besides me).
The real trick is to reach out to other moms, because we all have the same gripe- and when you meet those happy-go-lucky martha stewart wannabes, just tell them their living a lie.
:) Good luck!

Answer 7

yup that about covers my day. And I think trading jobs with him for a day or two might straighten him out. (can he lactate?).
My husband doesn't question what I do around here, and if I want to sit and eat bon bons (which I would love to do some days without interruption) He wouldn't question it either, as long as the baby was fed, changed and looked after. He's jealous actually.

Answer 8

If you've already spoken with him about how you feel ( unappreciated) do a little experiment. Don't do anything except care for the baby! See what he thinks when he comes home next time. Simply say this is what happens when ALL I do is take care of the baby! I'm sure he will learn his lesson quickly.

Answer 9

I am in your exact situation where my hubbys home on the weekends, but he is home after work on the week days. I have 3 under 3 also. I also work out and exercise while listening to music. Try to clean enough on Friday so it lasts all week. Than you look great and th ehouse feel sgreat . It a win win situation. I also rearrange stuff. lol

Answer 10

My son is 20 months old. Besides doing "regular" housework (laundry, dishes, etc), I'm constantly cleaning up messes and spills. I also make sure my son is safe and happy.