When we got married, he agreed to move to my hometown. Now, two years later, he wants to move back to his hometown (a mere 1 hr and 15 min. drive). I remind him that when we got married, he agreed to live here, knowing that i want to live near my family. He claims he had no idea what a crummy town he was falling into. we do go very often (at least once a month) to visit his family and he goes there once a week to help in his father's factory. i don't keep him from his family/hometown at all, i just don't want to live there.
2007-03-28 11:49:12 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
COMPROMISE......don't live in either of your hometowns; make a new hometown for you and your husband (since you are a family now) find somewhere in between if you feel the need to stay that close to both families.....
2007-03-28 11:52:31 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You need to consider who has the best job where you live now. Will you be able to get as good of jobs in the other town if you move.
The only fair thing would be to either live near his family for two years and then move to a neutral location or try to relocate somewhere that is half ways between your two families.
2007-03-28 12:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by p00756 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any reason why you can't be away from your family? Do you have sick or aged relatives that need your constant care or is it just convenient for you to be there? If you don't want to live in his hometown and he doesn't want to live in yours, is there a town a mere 35-40 minutes away that you can compromise on? Part of marriage is compromise. Give a little to get a little.
2007-03-28 11:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you no how many of us there are out here that had to move out of our home state.My husband promised never to move me out of our home state but here we are in a state some would die to live in.The part that I don't understand is his family lives where my family lives.He forgot to mention when we were married that he wanted to live in the state of Florida I guess he thought I would change my mind as the years went on.You have two choices here one, who is more important to you your family or your husband who I thought was your family and two,stay where you are and let your husband move back to his family that way you both will be happy to be home and the two of you can meet on weekends. Sounds pretty stupid doesn't it well if you two don't come up with something that is what will happen and along with that your husband will meet another woman and then your problems will be over your get to stay with your family but alone without your husband by your side .Keep playing around like the two of you are and your marriage won't survive.
2007-03-28 17:43:38 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you can move to a middle point, where the town isn't so crummy as you say. I think you guys need to compromise. I drove over an hour to work for the past 3 years, now we moved recently, closer to my work and he has to drive an hour to his job....eventually when we buy a house we will move closer to my husband's work, because he has the career, but for now, it's only right that we live here.
2007-03-28 12:02:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about compromise. Why can't you even entertain the thought of moving? He moved to be with you, but isn't happy. At least he tried.
Have you thought about moving somewhere in the middle?
I moved for my husband. He wanted to provide a better life for his family and to do that we had to move. I never wanted to leave my family either. My grandparents (who raised me) are elderly, so I wanted to be near them.
I followed my husband over 1200 miles away. I was very homesick at first, but my husband did everything he could to make it easier on me. Within a year we started our own business. Our marriage is stronger than ever now. We have done better in every way. Although I miss my family everyday, it was the best decision for our family.
Your husband tried, why can't you? If you only think of yourself and what you want that isn't a very healthy marriage.
2007-03-28 12:19:35 · answer #6 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move in the middle so that way you guys both get what you want and are only driving about 40 minutes to each others hometowns! and be happy whats more important being happy or being right?
2007-03-28 12:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's a mere 1 hr and 15 min drive....you can do that too. Maybe you should give his hometown a chance....you never know til you try it out. good luck!
2007-03-28 11:59:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jenni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about this one...I am in the military and we have moved over 8 times in an 8 yr marriage...
consider yourself lucky for being in the same place for 2 years...
and yeah compromise between the two...
my family is 7 hours away...
it would be nice to live 75 mins from my town...
ahh and remember this...
remember the necessary buffer zone between yourself and your inlaws and parents...
2007-03-28 12:29:51 · answer #9 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the same situation! But you had a good 2 years I only had a horrible worst of my life 1 year. I am ready to move back to my husbands home town!
2007-03-28 11:54:12 · answer #10 · answered by KayAlley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋