How do I come out to my parents as a gay teen?

Question

I'm fourteen so i need advice from older people. But no one try to make me straight

Answer 1

Congrats on knowing yourself at this age. As for coming out, start out simple, maybe with friends. They are usually more understanding at first. If you are positive that you want to though, go for it. I hope that they are intelligent individuals that will not go crazy. If you are unsure what their reaction may be there is no need to rush. If your living situation would be in trouble, wait until you live on your own. Do what you feel is best for you though and I wish you all the luck.

Answer 2

you are really young to know for sure that you are gay. I think that you should wait a while before you come out just so you don't make a mistake. If you are sure that you are gay, i would say just sit down with your parents and have an honest conversation with them. Tell them how you feel and just make sure you let them know that this is what will make you happy and their support is really what you need right now. They will love you no matter what. Good luck.

Answer 3

Hi Edgar,

Sadly you cannot stop the bigots and the extremists from trying to make you straight -- their nature is twisted and it is very sad -- but it is their life, so just ignoring them is the best solution.

That said.

1. Are you sure you want to come out to your parents? Are they accepting, or will you be ostracized by them? I know one boy whose parents cut him off from his boyfriend, because suddenly they realized that the two of them were.... well..... *ahem* -- they were a year older than you and had been together for close to a year. So even if they are accepting -- how will they react about, using the example just given -- your having a boyfriend?

2. If you are sure that you want to do it, I would get a copy of the book "Loving someone gay" and leave it on a coffee table -- or I would bookmark the site for pflag (http://www.pflag.org) on THEIR computer. If they want to know, they will then come to you. If they do not come to you -- I would let it lay and not bother it any more. I know you want them to know -- you want to know you are loved for who and what you are -- but don't endanger yourself. You have highschool and college ahead of you -- AND if they really disapprove, they may (depending on the state) have the right to try to have you brainwashed, which is very, very destructive and could do you long term psychological damage, though it will not make you straight. (Do not forget Zach Stark)

All of that said -- you are very brave for wanting to come out -- and I am proud of you for being you. If we can help by listening to you or whatever, feel free to email me.

Kindest thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]
http://www.rebuff.org

PS I came out at 14 -- and like you, knew before then.

Answer 4

ok, I have a friend who went through this same situation...

Honestly, I think you should wait until you're atleast 16 before making a decision on your sexuality because especially at your age, you can end up changing your mind later on. It could possibly be a fase, or later in life oyu can turn bi. It just happens....

But then once you know FOR SURE, then you should come out to your parents. My advise it just gather them in a room, maybe after dinner or something...then tell them about it. If they love oyu, they'll support you. And besides, you are there son so they love you no matter what! Even if they dont support your sexuality, they'll love you.

:-D

Good luck! *hugs*

Answer 5

Hi. Im 14 even though you asked for older peoples advice i though ti might help. I think ppl are pretty sure about their sexuallity when theyre 14 so dont let them tell you youre to young to know if youre gay. I wrote my mom a letter and i told my two sisters. They are all cool with it and we even joke about it, now if only i could tell my dad..... Anyways its not a bad thing. Youre who you are. Be proud!

Good luck!
xoxo

Answer 6

If they paid attention while raising you, they know. If they haven't been paying attention, why bother telling them?

Seriously, it's about as much an issue as being right handed or left handed. People attach way too much drama to this BS. It's 2007, not the Dark Ages.

Just go on living your life, save drama for old age. That's my advice.

Answer 7

14 is still a young age, why not wait a while and see how things go. If you are gay dont let anyone try and change you. Whatever you decide good luck!!

Answer 8

I think you should slow down, unless you are really sure that your parents wont freak out and make life a living hell. If they are sane people, and you feel safe... you sit down with them and tell them that you know that you are young, but you want them to know this about you. Offer to contact www.pflag.org, who are a very good resource. But again-- I don't encourage 14 years olds to come out, because you are in such a vulnerable situation.

Answer 9

Jeez I feel for you...and your dad...he's going to be devistated...as a father that is one talk you prey never happens...oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do...I'd take a walk thru the mall and check out all the hotties in their short skirts one last time and make sure there isn't any hope for you first dude.

Answer 10

if your 14 how do u even know if ur gay??