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my husband persuaded me that only having one child was what we both needed and he had a vasectomy. I regretted it straight away. She is 13 now and our marriage is in a shambles. He feels so guilty and I feel so sad. We love each other but I cannot get it out of my mind and feel so lost.

2007-03-28 11:31:35 · 6 answers · asked by Diane 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

We did discuss how many children we wanted. It was two. One day he came home and said that he wanted a vasectomy. He was happy with one child and did not want another. He said financially it was for the best. Because I was not working and he seemed so against having another I felt I had no choice. It wasnt until years later that he admitted he did not think our marriage was working. I was so angry that he did not admit that in the first place instead of taking such drastic action. I am from another country and my child was born in the states. He said he would fight me to the end to keep my child here. I have no family as such and feel very trapped. I get very depressed and my husband and daughter get on so well that I often wonder if it would be best to leave and let him raise her on his own. I truly believe that is what he wanted in the first place.

2007-03-28 22:49:32 · update #1

6 answers

having a baby won't fix a marriage that is in shambles; just wait another two years when your teenager daughter is in full bloom and you are in teenage hell! you won't be sad about only having one child.....trust me...

2007-03-28 11:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 0 0

Sounds like the two of you did not have a meeting of the minds before you decided to start a family. Nonetheless, you have been blessed with a child. Many women/men are not blessed with such joy. Just because you were unable to have a child biologically did not mean that you could not adopt...there are too many children in our country that need a little bit of love and consideration. As far as not forgiving him, I don't think that you should have held on to that moment for 13 years. It was a decision that was made 13 years ago. Let it go. Imagine if someone held you captive to some of the things you've done in your past....

2007-03-28 11:41:52 · answer #2 · answered by D_Rose 2 · 0 0

Your marriage isn't in a mess because you just have one child. The two of you didn't work on your marriage. Vasectomies can be reversed.

2007-03-28 14:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0 0

its time to move on, no matter how hard you think about it, it's in the past, pondering about it nowadays will just hurt your marriage, because your husband knows his guilt and your sadness, so you need to be the one to forget and move on. your problem lies in you two, not the point that having one child was not enough, if had more children would your marriage still be in shambles?

2007-03-28 17:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If you both want a baby,, IS that what you are asking . ADOPT
the SON OF MY DREAMS was born to another woman....
I love him with all my heart, and HE IS MY SON.....
My baby was 12 when we adopted.. they are VERY CLOSE and I love em equally

2007-03-28 11:56:02 · answer #5 · answered by Peggy C 4 · 0 0

how about adoption or even a sperm donor or even try a reversal i know it may not work but at least there maybe a chance! good luck!

2007-03-28 11:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0 0

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