What Would You Do...Moral Dilemma?

Question

You have your sister in laws (husbands sister) email password, because she gave it to you ages ago to check for an important email when she didn't have access. You went in there at the time and found emails to her mum (who lives abroad) mouthing off about you something rotten. Making out like you're a bad mum (SERIOUS case of pot calling kettle black) and basically just being nasty. You let it go, because you wondered how you could bring it up, when you'd been wrong enough to snoop in the first place. You kept your distance when you could, but life went on. Now, you check the emails again, and you find an email to her mum again saying that your cat was killed and what a shame it was etc...and then you see the reply from her mum who says that you probably poisoned it knowing you. You love animals, you're a good mum, and these wicked women dislike you for no reason. You've never done them any harm. Your husband has little to do with his mum, because she favours his sister.

Answer 1

Stop snooping. Everyone that goes 'looking' for stuff about themselves deserves what they see! You will always find something to upset you because you will take it out of all proportion and out of context with what was actually done or said.

Take no notice. If they want to ***** about you, then at least they are not doing it about some other, LESS WELL ADJUSTED PERSON! Do not give A FLYING FOX what people think of you 'cause basically you are lovely and you had better know it!

You are a GREAT mum and if your husband has little to do with this pair of witches too then he is an obviously a good judge of character.

If you ARE feeling like a little 'revenge' though, change her password secretly to something like 'BITCHWITCH' so that she cannot access her system! She will never know it is you.

Answer 2

HMMM..It kind of makes you wonder if she almost suspects that curiosity would get to you and cause you to check her email from time to time. I mean, I would have changed my password after I asked you or anyone else to check my email. But maybe she does trust that you wouldn't look at her email again, hard to say. Has your husband ever told the Mom or sister why he has so little contact with his Mom? Maybe they are assuming you are the one that keeps him from her, and just use that as an excuse to dislike you? Only they know. But having the knowledge that you do about their little gossip sessions, would be hard to keep inside, knowing they are smiling in your face, but then stabbing you in the back. If your involvement with them is very minimal, I would just continue on without letting them know you've seen what they really think of you. Otherwise, when the opportunity arises, look them in the eye and say "I can't put my finger on it, but I get the feeling you dislike me for some reason" Then see what their reaction is, it might or might not open up the dialog for some honest communication, but if it doesn't, then just chalk it up to them being petty, two-faced, and insincere people and rise above them. Your husband and you know what a good person you are, so let that be enough of a reward.

Answer 3

Frankly, you've gotten what you deserved for invading her privacy. Don't read people's personal emails, letters, or diaries if you don't want to know how they really feel!

So what if your mother-in-law is a pain in the butt? She lives abroad and if you didn't read these emails, you'd never hear from her at all. Your sister-in-law hasn't said anything nasty about you, and her only fault is in foolishly trusting you with access to her email.

They would have good reason to dislike you if they knew what a snoop you are, and showed so little respect for other people's privacy.

Answer 4

tough one! one look would be enough for me - I'd tell her to change her password before I did it for her, and then not have anything furthe to do with her whatsoever. But I'd remember the phrase "evesdroppers never hear good about themselves" and take some of the blame for having the problem in the first place. Then let it go, not worth worrying about.

Answer 5

I would first of all have as little as possible to do with them. Your husband had already made that decision. I would also suggest to the sister in law that it is time to change her password and get on with your life. You will not change them, so I wouldn't waste my time worrying about what they think of you. It's only your opinion of yourself that counts.

Answer 6

It was not a good idea for you to be looking at other people's emails but the bit about poisoning was probably a bit of an exaggeration.

Answer 7

keep your mouth shut..it wouldn't do anygood anyway! at least now you know where you stand! hold onto the password in case a situation should ever arise when it could become a tactical advantage. if she changes it so what..i don't mean you should read it everyday...you would only be torturing yourself..i would just hang on to it in case a situation should ever arise where it could provide proof of misconduct.

Answer 8

Its a bit like eavesdropping is'nt it. Well its her fault for telling you her password. We have all been warned about that.

Print the nasty emails off as amunition for the future

Then change her password.

Answer 9

Print them out. Walk up to the 2 of them when they're together and simply say "While I realize that I have snooped and that's my fault for not respecting your privacy, this is my proof that my instincts were correct. I'm sorry I went this route to find out but it's better that we have the truth out on the table with each other. Good day, ladies."

Answer 10

Yes, print them out and when there is a family gathering, trot them out and tell them you would like to read something aloud. When you are done, give them the finger and leave and never have them darken your life again.