if i'm in an unhappy marriage where there is no sex or happiness, and my spouse has been unfaithful many times but i can't leave the house just yet... is it okay for me to be with someone else....
2007-03-28 11:22:54 · 29 answers · asked by joanna m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't fight fire with fire. That's not fair to anyone.
Talk to your spouse. Explain your disappointment and that you are ready to seperate if s/he doesn't stop his/her ways. Perosonally I would just call it quits because s/he lost hope in the relationship once s/he cheated.
But don't cheat on your spouse. Wait until you're divorced.
2007-03-28 11:26:41 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm sorry for your unhappiness. That's not a situation I envy. Any marriage is a challenge to hold together in a day when the easy way out is always "just get a divorce." However, if your husband is cheating and has done it many times, then he is not upholding your marriage. It's a contract of sorts and he broke his "solem" promise to be faithful to you, "foresaking ALL others 'til death do you part." Now, if he made a mistake and came clean, apolgized, promised never to do it again and hasn't then suddenly you just want to wonder, I'd say that no, it wouldn't be okay. Having said that, if that's not the case and he's done it with different people and does or could do it again, then YES you have the right.
My question would be why you can't leave the house just yet. If there are children involved, that changes everything.
You'll no doubt get a lot of answers, some of them stupid and shouldn't waste your time, but most will be from different viewpoints and should be considered.
In the end, and I'm sure you already know this, you HAVE TO GO WITH YOUR GUT INSTINCTS! If YOU feel in your heart of hearts that two wrongs don't make a right and/or that you'll feel badly if you do, then just wait and don't do it. If you've already met the person and this is a source of positive support for you (be careful of rebounding!), then maybe you should. You have to think about six months and ten years from now. When you look back, you want to be proud of yourself in how you handled the whole thing. Keep your dignity about yourself and remember that you have class. There are things that will be affected by your decision that haven't even happened yet.
Follow your heart, but let your logical brain keep you out of trouble! Good luck! :-)
2007-03-28 18:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by Fuzzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No as you would be committing a sin if you have children i would stick it out as long as you can i no it will be hard .It will be Tu-ff do you need casual sex at this time i would say NO it wont fix the pain it will return after if you do its a little like I NEED A DRINK the prob is still there the next day prob is back on you again. Butt I'm shore you have a thick skin by now as this has been it sounds as if has been happening for some time .What you can do is plan your exert from this relationship and exert as quite as possible as this will hold you in good stead for your future and your children.And i will say quiet and mature that is with splitting the posesions House and all the stuff that goes with it .And i must say that Lawyers are all Lye rs I have experience in that part of splitting up get an independent meadiator its a lot cheaper I hope that is of sum help and remember the childern *** first IT IS THERE BRAIN YOU HAVE TO PROTECT BOTH OF YOU AND THERE FUTURE YOU ARE BUILDING and im shore thay will see you as the best in the world i garintee you then you will be on a high all the time that is the DRUG no 1 can Give you .And i hope you have a great future and i wish you the best of luck and find love again as i no your mind and soal and conshince will be still in tack and your true love will bloom for im shore a better partner for the rest of your life and your EX will see how wrong thay were and how thay ****** UP See win win win win you win GOOD LUCK
2007-03-28 19:11:21 · answer #3 · answered by knfracing1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in the same situation as I am. After a year and a half of no sex,and many years of very little sex/companionship, she hooked up with many men ( chat buddies she says) and now started dating men including a few over nighters. I stood back and tried my best to understand this. She decided to have an open marriage until she found a job and divorces me, leaving me with alot of debt as well. I have come to terms with this and although I still cry at night about the loss of my 15yr marriage, I still know it is best to get her to leave and divorce me. I know I will feel better about myself and move on - slowly. Since all this time I have somehow met a beautiful young woman that is willing to get to know me and patiently awaits the divorce. So my answer is yes, mostly for your own sanity. I was not looking for someone although I was very lonely. I do feel better knowing that someone is interested in me and likes to spend time with me as I go thru this difficult time with me. I have 2 boys that I will have to take care of as well as my house & bills. I hope this helps, Bill
2007-03-28 20:21:56 · answer #4 · answered by blueangel9092 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it could be ok, but it is more respectable and acceptable for you to break up with her first, it doesn't seem like anything is working and just because a piece of paper says you are still together doesn't mean you really are, you choose. Either work it out or move on, there the only 2 options... or you'll be unhappy, depressed..maybe even crazy or suicidal by the end of it. Stress will drive you insane.. Get out of there... Then it won't be cheating.....
2007-03-28 18:28:26 · answer #5 · answered by Aaron 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No two wrongs don't make a right!! Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......u have to make a decision is whatever keeping u there that important? Peopl hang on to relationships for all the wrong reasons whether it be the kids, the other person pays half the bills, or ur scared to be alone....if ur not happy LEAVE!!!!!
2007-03-28 18:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lovely Cappy Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might not want to take on the risk to your self respect or for another person to be that involved in your marriage problems. IT would be better if you could wait until you get a divorce. Work on getting the divorce quicker.
2007-03-28 18:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not probably something you really want to do. I would get your affairs in order and make all preparations to move out before considering another relationship. You need to concentrate on you right now and the immediate needs of getting the divorce underway.
2007-03-28 18:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by fitzovich 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would really be better if you would separate before doing that. It may be that she has been unfaithful already, but if I were in your shoes I would feel better about myself in trying to do it the right way.
2007-03-28 18:27:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be with someone else you should talk to your spouse and get a divorce. Do you have children??? If you do it mite be hard on them...
Good Luck...!!!
2007-03-28 18:46:01 · answer #10 · answered by Katiee:))) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋