Me and my boy friend go way back. We've grown up together and started dating at 13. I'm 20 years old now and we have been back together for 14 months. I'm 3.5 months pregnant with his child and my life, our relationship is falling apart as I speak. He had never been abusive towards me before..nor have I. But lately it's ridiculous. He has really been getting bad. The other day he hit me so hard that my ear rang for a half hour! He said he felt soo bad and felt bad as soon as he had done what he did. Last night we were fighting again and choke slamed me....a bunch of times. Called me every name in the book...which is nothing new and grabbed my face and bit my chin soooo freaking hard!! Everytime I try to leave him he just cases me down and begs me to make it work for our babys sake. Personally I dont want to bring my baby into a relationship like that. He dosent either, but both of us never seem to be able to let go. I'm confused and scared. I dont want to lose my baby. help
2007-03-28 11:09:44 · 9 answers · asked by abby h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let's face it - you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You're probably in one of the most difficult situations for any woman. You love this man, you have his baby on the way, but he's abusing you. Be thankful nothing serious has happened to you or the baby. But, what should you do? That's a difficult decision, and it is one only you should make. I am a firm believer that people change, and I also believe you should leave your man at the first sign of abuse. But, EASIER SAID THAN DONE!
In the meantime, you may want to let someone know what is happening, like your best friend or your mother. Someone who you know you can trust and who will be there for you. Then, since it seems you are skeptical about leaving, talk to your man. And, do it in a public place to see how he reacts. Tell him you aren't going to tolerate that behavior and that you feel you both should go to counseling. Relationships are never easy, and sometimes people have anger management problems and do things they truly regret. At least if you start counseling together, you know you have an unbiased person helping you both. You have to remember, people do change. But, if he hurts you again after you've both begun counseling, then you definitely should leave. It is probably a sign he isn't going to change. And, like you said, you don't want the baby to grow up in the environment. And, there are support groups that will help you get through it, along with your friends.
You know him the best - decide if he deserves a chance to show you what a great person/father he can be, or if you believe it's better for you to leave. And, don't worry what people say because it's always easier when you're not in the other person's shoes.
2007-03-28 11:38:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Either he gets the professional help he needs desperately or you need to move on past him before he starts hitting the baby. And dont think it wont happen when he has to handle a sick crying baby in the middle of the night after a rally hard day at work, and realize a year ago youd prbably would have said hed never hit you. He is extremely dangerous here so press charges on him the next time and he will get the help. Dont buy into his lies not to leave him as he knows this will work everytime and it keeps you from calling the police but dont put up with it anymore. there are authorities and help groups out here that will help you make it thru this, just make the call and help will be there for you and your baby. Good luck
2007-03-28 18:21:41 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU HAVE ANY PLACE ELSE TO GO...GO THERE!!!!! Read this ten times! Get out of this house. If you can leave while he is at work...GO!
Men like this often kill their wives...remember Scott Peterson??
I know I sound really scared for you. I am. To bring a sweet, innocent baby into the house with a brute, would be a crime!!!
These kinds of coward men (the kind who beat women) have low self esteem. He would pee his pants if a big guy came in and punched him out!!
Calling you names, choking you, what are you thinking! Get out!
Oh sure, he will come squirming back...his type always does, but it's only to get his punching bag back! He will punch out the next girl that comes into his life...this is his pattern!
Did I say leave? Yes, I think i did.
2007-03-28 18:28:19 · answer #3 · answered by Eve 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wanted it to work it out for the babys sake then he wouldnt be inflicting harm on the babys main life support which is you. Dont stay in a relationship with anybody I dont care if its your husband if he puts his hands on you while you are expecting. He could hurt you really bad one day or Lord forbid kill the unborn baby.
2007-03-28 18:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by BabyGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from him, both you and your baby are in danger. Get in touch with a local women's shelter, don't wait until you are in a life or death situation. Get yourself to a safe place where there is support for you throughout your pregnancy. This guy does not care about the baby, or you for that matter. Whatever his problem is, you can't help him, so please help yourself and your unborn child.
2007-03-28 18:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by rozie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make a decision right now. Either you will be in an abusive relationship or you wont. The abuse will probably escalate and you and your baby could die.
2007-03-28 18:16:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get out known before it gets really bad it will not stop i known i have been there good luck i hope you do get out for your baby
2007-03-28 18:16:34 · answer #7 · answered by ginger p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its called 911 and a restraining order,, thats not right,,there are groups out there to help you so dont feel alone,, please seek help before he hurts the baby
2007-03-28 18:14:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE, AS LONG AS HE TAKES CARE OF HIS RESPONSIBILITY, BEING YOUR CHILD, YOU DONT NEED HIM
2007-03-28 18:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by Mia H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋