I don't really agree. I want to change so bad. I hate the way I am. I CAN'T CHANGE MYSELF!!! Trust me if you could, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I'm too nice. I let ppl walk on me and I CAN'T HELP IT. I don't like the way I feel. I take an anti-depressant but I still feel like I hate the way I act. I mean you gotta understand. I'M WAY TOO NICE! I can't say no when someone asks me to help or something. My husband gets mad at me, but what am I supposed to do----I'm too nice and I can't change. Is there any way to change the way I am? I've heard ppl on hear say that it is possible but I don't know.
2007-03-28 10:50:31 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You sound like a lovely person. I don't think that medication is going to help you, and am worried that you have decided to go down this road in lieu of talking to someone and trying to figure out why you allow yourself to be walked on. I agree wholeheartedly with the person above who said that you should try to get some counseling, and don't be afraid to talk to more than one person; Counselors are people, too, and different people will have different thinks to say. Good luck to you.
2007-03-28 11:03:14 · answer #1 · answered by wsibwigu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being nice is good, people appriciate, but being too nice is not so, certain people take undue advantage of it. As you said you can not say no, if people ask you something. Are they really deserve it ? have you ever checked their real needs. Yes people who are having need to help others, but at what cost? There should be some limitations in helping. That is the reason your Husband gets mad.
I do not tell you stop helping people at once. Keep aside some amount for charity. Plan your funds, for future. Understand people who are in your Family. Try to learn say NO. Anti-depressant will not solve your problem, it spoils your health in long run. Think yourself, rectify the pros and cons. Good luck, take care.
2007-03-28 11:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by manjunath_empeetech 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's the point!! ur TOO NICE! if i should describe ur actions, i would call it "KISSING ***." u sound like the type of person that would really come to reality if someone talks to you hard. it's a very good thing to be polite and kind but sometimes...and i wonder if u realize this...that sometimes people abuse ur kindness. now, answer this question, would you jump off a cliff just because someone asked you to? or even, would you kill somebody just because they asked you to do them a favour? i might be going over board with this but it's the same thing as doing every-little-thing for someone that asks.
i'm sure not or none of the people that asked u for those countless favours are handicaps so i don't see the need for you to be doing EVERYTHING for EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME! also, listen to ur husband sometimes.
:) cutefergie
2007-03-28 11:00:10 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I think it's possible..at least for me. If I *tried*, I can probably crawl out of my cave and be a happy, outgoing girl. I guess I don't want to show myself that way, and I mean if you want to improve yourself, then go ahead and change yourself..but I think that you need to be assertive and learn how to say no. Everyone says it, so if you look in the mirror and repeat no until you know you can say it, it might help =)
2007-03-28 13:28:48 · answer #4 · answered by Banana Hero [sic] 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you're kinda like me. People pretty much take advantage of me all the time. I can't help it either, but it helps you alot to start an argument at the very start of when they try to take advantage of you. That way the person knows you don't want them screwing with your stuff.
2007-03-28 10:56:28 · answer #5 · answered by Durr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you can do "hardiness-training" according to Kabasa...you don't necessarily want to change who you are though - maybe you just need more confidence? so you can stand up to those who walk all over you?
You need to learn to be able to say "no", and stick by it.
There are lots of things you can do to improve confidence, such as joining a amatuer drama group...you could ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor who will give you exercises to increase your confidence. good luck,.
2007-03-28 10:59:59 · answer #6 · answered by pinkfudge27 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i recommend a spiritual practice.
start with doing yoga. learn to meditate.
you have to know thy self.
focus & discipline on meditation.
worked for me.
i do this form of meditation: www.dancemeditation.org
i have changed a lot,. i have better job, a better husband, better relationships with my kids and am a lot happier.
good luck
2007-03-28 10:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My daughter went from girly girl to skull freak in two months! But don't ask me how she did it.
2007-03-28 11:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by Safari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats not a personality problem - its a lack of self esteem problem. counseling will help you with this
2007-03-28 10:54:38 · answer #9 · answered by bbq 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One word....prayer.
2007-03-28 10:56:20 · answer #10 · answered by CM 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋