I have been divorced from this woman for over 18 yrs or so when I left her, her son - stepson for me - was 3. I am currently remarried no children of my own but wonder what other peoples thoughts of contacting him. Should I even consider the idea? Or should I just let it be and hope the kid is doing good on his own?
2007-03-28 10:30:57 · 19 answers · asked by Firestorm 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you haven't stayed in contact with him, then I would leave it alone. I mean 3? He barely remembers you. You remember him and have feelings for him.. hence the urge to contact him. But, he does not remember you. I think you would be setting yourself up for disappointment.
If you're interested in developing a relationship with a youth, look into the big brother program.
2007-03-28 10:34:54 · answer #1 · answered by luv2help 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go the kid probably doesn't even know who you are and it may start trouble between his new dad and mom . I think you need a kid of your own or you and your wife can adopt a child there are plenty of them that really need a good home . You may even look into being a big brother Ive worked with those kids without fathers and some of them where really great kids they just need a father role
2007-03-28 17:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't recommend contacting him. You've been divorced from your ex-wife for 18 years, which is a really long time during which you were never a father figure or anything for this kid. Also, since you're not his biological father I don't see any obligation for you to communicate with this kid. Let him live his life, don't complicate things for yourself, your ex wife or her son. Move on with your life.
2007-03-28 17:35:24 · answer #3 · answered by dreamin delux 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say yes because if you guys built a strong bond and then u went byebye the kid might want to see you. but what if the kid doesn't even remember u?
but then again it's really healthy to know a lot of people and have lots of friends and contacts bc it prolongs your mental health. yes, go for it. if you think he'll be like, i don't know u go away, then call but have ...like a preconcieved idea ... kind of like this : " ok.. ima give it a try just bc some dude in the net said so" so that you don't care if the kid/dude answera rudely.
2007-03-28 17:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by mamuca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why after 18 years are you suddenly interested? Why did you Not stay in contact with him after you divorced his mother? Do you really think he would be interested in seeing you? What do you have to offer him now after 18 years that you couldn't offer him when he was three and probably when he needed you the most. I would say "let sleeping dogs be"
2007-03-28 17:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Twinkle♥Toes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to come across as being cynical, but a kid at that age probably won't even remember you.
Maybe your "biological clock" is ticking and wanting a child of your own.
2007-03-28 17:36:11 · answer #6 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That must have been really tough for you to have to break a relationship w/ a child that you were raising. I think you should contact him and put your worries to rest. He's grown man now, and most likely wonders what happened to you as well.
2007-03-28 17:34:45 · answer #7 · answered by Sharisse F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken with your current wife about it?
Is she ok with it?
Not only should you think of your ex and her son, but about your current wife, too...
Also, what would be the benefit...?
His not your son... it's hard to know how he'll take this...
Sometimes it's better to leave the past in the past...
2007-03-28 17:37:23 · answer #8 · answered by Estrella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just let it be and hope the kid is doing good on his own
2007-03-28 17:34:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think about WHY you want to do that.
If you think you can help him and if you think you can build a good relationship, then I think you should by all means consider that.
But then again you are a stranger to him. He may not recognize your relationship with his mom.
Wish you good luck with this tough choice!
2007-03-28 17:35:25 · answer #10 · answered by Ram 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋