I have this big problem with my husband. His friend just came to town and ever since then he has changed.?

Question

Last night he told me that he was going to buy some beer and he would be right back home. Well he left with 5 of his friends and didnt come back till 3 hours later drunk off his a**. He had gone out to a bar to play pool while I stayed at home frustrated with the kids. Then after he got out of work at 12 noon and I went home for lunch. I got there to find him drunk again with his friends. This is getting out of hand. I never go out anywhere. In fact I dont even have friends to go out with. I feel like doing something drastic sometimes and leave him. But sometimes I feel like we should work out our problems. What should I do? He thinks I wont leave him. He stopped drinking for a long time and now look at him. I feel like he doesnt love me. I even tried to get him to notice me the other day by dressing in a short skirt, tall boots, and a tank top. I know I have a low self esteem and I gave up my freedom for him. He's always been a jerk with me and I've had it. What would u do in my shoes

Answer 1

Sounds like as long as he thinks you wont leave him that youll put up with it. If you have anywhere to go, try a separation and refuse to go back til he stops all drinking and carousing. He needs to realize you and his children need him.
It is a drastic measure to leave but sometimes people need a wake up call.

Answer 2

I had the very same problem 22 years ago with my husband, I just packed his things and through him out! I told him so you would rather be with your friends then your children and me then your out of here find comfort with your buddies. With in a week he was crying and calling me to take him back, but I felt that he needed to learn a lesson we were separated for one year, and that is only because I wanted it that way. When he came back, I made sure that the children and I came first, this past year we celebrated our 26th anniversary. Sometimes we women just need to teach the good old boys a lesson.

Answer 3

well i sure wouldn't leave my husband for going out a few times, why do you women panic? have patience--do you have any idea what women go through? how much worse it could be? believe me as you go out the front door another female will be coming in the back door-litterally.
marraige is ups and downs, not all ups-tell him in a sincere respectful way that you feel left out when he goes out a lot--that you really love him and want to work it out, don't worry about self-esteem, have the courage to do the right and noble thing, be strong and stay. women don't run--girls do.

Answer 4

Try to have a "sit down" with him. Make sure that he is aware of your feelings. If he isn't receptive to you, you should take your children and go somewhere that you feel important. I know it sounds goofy, but I heard Dr. Phil say something that absolutely makes sense. "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior" and past behavior is judged in at least 6 month increments. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

dont you have your own friends? as one wife to another. they are all like that when their friends come around. when my husbands friends come over they always drink smoke, and talk mere crap. at first it use to bother me because i liked all the attention. but then i got with my own friends (you know come over for lunch, etc) and I didn't mind him at all. you will only drag yourself deeper in insecurity if you rely on him for attention 100% even when he is with his friends. let him have some buddy time, and you should have some of your own.


why leave him? ask yourself, had his friends not appeared in the picture would you have been happy with him? if that answer is yes then leaving should not be an option

Answer 6

the guy "V" is possessive. He in ordinary terms desires to very own you, and not by way of fact he loves you. he's a character who desire to very own issues so as that he can tutor the international approximately his possessions and likewise that he's the main suited guy and females can not stay devoid of him. unload him and save your marriage. i assume he has given you sufficient motives to depart him. think approximately an expertise husband, so do no longer lose it. there are a number of basic strategies to do away with thinking approximately him. by way of fact you're married, the superb thank you to occupy your self is be a mom. as quickly as you have a baby you will dedicate multiple the time on your baby, and since the youngster grows you will immerse your self on your youngster's care and overlook approximately different issues. in simple terms think of your b/f as a undesirable financial ruin and say to your self that from right this moment you will attempt and overlook him as much as achieveable. you will discover it complicated contained in the begining, yet each and each time the theory come to you, take a deep breath, pause and say, "NO i'm unlikely to think of roughly HIM, I truly produce different issues to do, that are important and desires greater interest presently" each and all of the superb.

Answer 7

i am in the same spot but i have a suggestion get a babysitter and creep up on him see what hes really up to then tell him to grow up that he has a responsibility which is his kids that hes not showing them the right thing is that how he wants to see them in their future write back and let me know how it went plz i will try too help u through the way.

Answer 8

when he is sober try to talk to him and ask him what he would do if u behaved the way he is try and sort things out with him and he doesnt listen 2 u then call his bluff when he goes to work change the locks

Answer 9

Girl, you need to get yourself some friends, not that hes not being a jerk, but dont let him be your world.

Answer 10

I'd tell him not to hang out with those friends. If he says no get help or divorice him.
Maybe he is feeling pressured because of his friends. I dont know.