I have a 16 year old son who is very rebellious. Which i am to understand is perfectly normal. My husband keeps confronting me about it saying that its out of hand and that his attitude needs to be handled. I'm a bit more laid back about this but my husband comes from a strict family. When I got home from work a couple hours ago my son had a black eye and he wouldnt tell me what happened. My husband felt it was appropriate to whip him and punch him which i strongly disagree with. Apparently the school called about him failing his english class and my husband lost all control. I didnt find that to be a exscuse for what he did. He has never punished Corey before without discussing it with me first. What am i suppose to do about all this?
2007-03-28 09:59:05 · 29 answers · asked by Carol J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Excuse me dear but your husband did not get rough with your son, he punched him in the eye, that's child abuse. Regardless of weither this child is rebellious or not, no adult has the right to punch him, it is ilegal, get your son the hell away from him, it will happen again.
2007-03-28 10:18:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
I agree with you. However when you son goes back to school if the school finds out about this incident your husband can be in a lot of trouble. This is child abuse. There are better ways of handling rebellious teen ages that giving black eyes. I think your family needs some professional help and now. The next time if may a worse. A broken bone? When children's services get involved it will be out of your hands. You need to do something and fast!
2007-03-28 17:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by Janst 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This sort of issue actually caused me to divorce, so this can be painful and serious. Physical punishments are sometimes necessary and my mom and dad used to spank me and stuff. But, to have a black eye, it's a little extreme. Also, you will have to worry about school reporting your husband to social services. I think the important thing is your son is going through some tough time and he may become more rebellious because of this. I am sure your husband is feeling bad. So, maybe you all can sit down and talk about what happened. He is 16 but he is stil a child. Good luck!
2007-03-28 17:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I remember my son at 16 was an a@@ pain and we continually fought - only physically once, but we didn't come to blows. It turned into a wrestling match, neither of us wanted to hit the other. He's OK now.
If your husband beat him without provocation, he probably needs counseling. Perhaps all of you do as a family. Since you put this in the Marriage&Divorce section, it may be too late for that?
2007-03-28 17:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by the_skipper_also 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Whether this is a dad or a step dad, no one has the right to beat a child. NEVER! I would stand by your son's side, so he doesn't shut down completely. He needs to know you care very much what happens to him and how he feels. To help make sure this doesn't happen again, you might consider some anger management sessions for your husband. You have to consider the safety of your child first!
2007-03-28 18:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by Moon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Watch how you approach this situation. I'm now 20 and since the age of roughly 13, I've had to deal with both my dad becoming more and more violent as he gets away with his, and my mother who sits on the sidelines and whines about the situation, resolving nothing. Physical violence solves nothing. There are institutions that help kids with their problems. Force him to get a job, take away his privileges, etc. But hitting only leads to a completely warped personality. Your kid will change over time, will develop a very deeply rooted hate for your husband, and your family will never be the same if you continue this charade of hitting and slapping each other like f'cking grogs. Your children come first, absolutely 110% ...
2007-03-28 17:04:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
You need to have a family intervention and confront this right away.....Teenagers are going to test and push as far as they can if they know they can get away with it. What your husband did was totally wrong in how he handled the situation. How does he expect Corey to act and carry himself if your husband lost control? He needs to set examples and lead him for Corey to have confidence in the guidance that he's setting. I feel very bad as a mother of three boys and would be furious with my husband if he acted this way towards our children. He would have to deal with me!!!!
2007-03-28 17:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The black eye was way overboard one day when your son grows up and your husband grows old the son will return the favor and i would not be surprised too see that your husband gets a visit from law enforcement after they read this question you have submitted..Good luck to you and your son...
2007-03-28 17:12:12 · answer #8 · answered by bluemist 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your husband might have encountered some type of physical abuse in the past and now has that in the back of his mind. he may be taking out his anger at your son for some reason..this would cause for some counsling for your husband because once they cross that line theyll do it again and it wont be just a black eye ive seen this happen way too many times your husband needs help not only to help with his emotions but now to help resolve the distance hes jusy created with his own son.
2007-03-28 17:06:24 · answer #9 · answered by alwaysroyal 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you need to understand where your husband is coming from. it seems like he feels if he does not handle the situation then the child will just get worse. punching him was a little too much especially in the face. many parents get picked up for things like that. you need to sit down and talk to your husband and let him know that hitting your son will not change anything it will just make him more rebellious especially towards his father. and your son will tend to move farther away from his dad. let your husband know that you both need to talk to him and ya'll agree on a way to handle situations together. good luck!
2007-03-28 17:04:48 · answer #10 · answered by lc 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm old school. If your husband don't get him under control now chances are the state will later. You're his family he is to young to kick out(ofter all you still love him) but old enough to make a stand. like my dad told me at the age 17 if I can't do what he says and respect the household while he is giving me food,shelter, and clothing then the door is there and no one is stopping you.
I tried to fight him once he gave me my a ss on a platter and after that I got my sh it together. tough love will make you a better person
2007-03-28 17:26:57 · answer #11 · answered by TBONE 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋