I am a woman of faith, and love for our Lord. I have done my wrongs and i pay for them eventually. Yes, i am engaged and pregnant. My fiancee is really pushing for us to get married before the baby is born, however, i just don't want to go in front of the judge and say "i do", i want a little church ceremony with a big reception, and i just don't think this is the time to be putting together a whole wedding and everything while i am pregnant, you know? Am i wrong for telling him no, i don't want to get married right now and to wait until the baby is born? what do you think?
2007-03-28 09:40:32 · 27 answers · asked by ♫Mama of One♫ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Big marriages are a lot of stress, and when you're pregnant stress is really the last thing you need. If you really want the big wedding, but want to come to a compromise, I would suggest something similar to what my husband and I did. We eloped to get all of the legal paperwork done and out of the way. We were then legally married. After the baby is born, feel free to plan to your hearts content. As you've already gotten the legal wedding out of the way, you can have a social wedding, where the point is about the love and joy of the union rather than the state's requirements. Your child will be born in wedlock, and you still have the beauty of a dream wedding after the birth. My husband and I had a friend preside, as we didn't need someone ordained for the second wedding. We were already legally married, we just wanted to share it with our loved ones.
2007-03-28 09:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously questionning the fact if God will forgive you for having a child outside marriage, more then the fact that your fiancee want to get married now.
I totaly understand the fact that you want your wedding day to be a certain way, I mean, you've probably imagined it many times in your head. I also think that it is sweet that your fiance want to get married before the baby is born.
You need to follow what is in your heart. I am sure that you both love each other very much and whether you have this baby before or after the marriage, you both will love this child the same and each other.
However, if you are still uncofortible with having the child outside the wedding lock, here is a suggestion:
- You can get married in front of a judge, make it official.
- Once the baby is born, you can have your big wedding, in a church and a reception. I know a couple that has done it. It worked for them just fine. You can request that a church performs the full ceremony , you know, they bless the rings and both of you, and for the reception, well, it's up to you how, where and when.
Congratulation on your pregnancy and good luck. Don't worry too much, things have a way of working out. Babies bring good luck!
2007-03-28 16:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by Jojo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was pregnant with our daughter and it was about three weeks before I was due. I said to my then boyfriend that I wished we had planned the wedding sooner- that I wanted the baby to have his name when it was born. He said " really?" We decided to do it and planned the whole thing in less than a week and somehow managed to have all of our family there. It was the best thing we ever did and everyone had a great time. It was very simple without all of the headaches that come with a large wedding. Have a big reception after the wedding! You will find with a little one that planning a wedding will be even harder than it is now. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.
2007-03-28 16:50:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cousin, also a Christian, got pregnant by her fiance too before the wedding.
She decided that to appease her family and him, she got married in front of a judge with no one present but her mother.
Her baby is now 2 months old and Im leaving CA next week to go to her 'marriage party'. Its like a huge reception in honor of the marriage.
You could do that? Or get married, have the paper for it. Then hold the ceremony and party after the baby? Thats compromise and you both will be happy with the results.
2007-03-28 16:46:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think your wrong. Its your day you have been dreaming about for years. You should do it the way you want it.
However, you could make both of you happy, and get married infront of a judge before the baby is born, and then plan a wedding ceremony a year later on the same day. And still get married in the church, and have your reception. That way both parties win.
2007-03-28 16:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically the wedding in the church isnt the "real" wedding, you still have to go to city hall and sign all the papers.
So what difference does it make?
Are you more concerned because you wont have the big traditional type wedding? Well honey... youre not a traditional type of bride, arent ya... very few dress come in maternity, now do they? LOL.. Marriage is about love, not about timing and doing things in sequence order. Sometimes life gets in the way and things get jumbled up.
Go on and have the big country outdoors family wedding with daisies everywhere... and you and that big old maternity wedding dress. Its sweet and loveable and at the end of the day you'll be happy that you were live, healthy and loved.
Stop being trivial and enjoy life.
2007-03-28 16:50:41 · answer #6 · answered by too_hot4words 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok since this is gonna happen why not compromise. Have a small ceremony at home. Then the wedding you want when you are ready. To be honest you will not have much time later after baby comes. By the way congrats! It takes time and energy to raise baby take care of home/work. Then to work out to fit into a wedding dress can be very stressful. If you feel up to all that and plan a wedding God Bless You Darling. I am so glad i had one at home.Babies are unpredictable and great blessings. Good Luck
2007-03-28 16:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by tastyflow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do what you are comfortable with. If you and he plan on getting married, then that is good. I wouldn't say anything if you weren't planning on it, but anyway. Get married when you are ready, if you want to have the baby so you can look good in a wedding dress, have more time to plan and have the ceremony the way you dreamed of it, you don't want a shotgun wedding, so wait. Congratulations on both events though. And as long as you are both happy, who gives a hoot about what others think.
2007-03-28 16:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see where you are coming from and there is nothing wrong with waiting until the baby is born. Try to meet your fiancee halfway and maybe you can have a small civil ceremony now, and have a big bash after the baby is born and you are back in shape and ready to plan it all out.
2007-03-28 16:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point I think you should have a small church ceremony and have a small reception.
Later on after the baby is born then have a big party to celebrate the new baby and the new marriage.
2007-03-28 16:45:42 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋