My best friend had an on-going love affair with her husbands live-in brother. It had ended months ago but the feelings are still there between the two.
She finally confessed to her husband, whom i must say is a very strong, cold man thats full of pride. He didnt talk to her much for a few days after that. When he was finally ready to say something, he told her...." I'm willing to try and make our marriage work on 2 conditions, 1, You must go to the doctor and have a complete physical. and 2, you need to go to a notary and write your confession out and have it notarized.
She's fine with the doctors visit, but shes afraid that he'll use the legal confession to take their children from her.
My question is... How do the courts deal with adultry and custody when it's the mother that commited it? Will she lose her kids if she has it notarized?
2007-03-28 09:26:50 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has not forgivin her, he's accually saying that he's gonna make her life really hard.
2007-03-28 09:35:23 · update #1
In most states, adultery doesn't matter.
However, if she really wants to rebuild her marriage, she should be willing to confess. She can ask for this to be kept private and never used unless she is caught cheating again.
I don't think he is being unreasonable, given the circumstances. But at some point, he has to let it go. Unfortunately, she is in no position to bargain at this point.
2007-03-28 09:30:48 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hey, thanks a lot bro. With a brother like that, who needs family, right? lol
Seriously, if I were her, I would not agree to sign anything without the advice of a lawyer. We may assume that her lawyer would also advise her not to sign anything. It is a mistake to give him any possible leverage, which could be used against her in a legal dispute, divorce or custody battle. Signing such a document will simply compound her troubles, so no matter what, just don't do it.
More so, she needs to decide if she wants to stay with the husband or go with the brother. If she is going to remain with the husband, he must be of the mind to forgive, while the brother has to move out and it's over. However, you say the feelings are still there, so if she is going with the brother, then they both move out and the husband can file for divorce without his little notarized paper, obtained under duress. It depends on the state, but custody would most likely be shared.
2007-03-28 16:46:12 · answer #2 · answered by seattlego 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As long as the children were not witnesses to the cheating, than there is nothing most courts will do about it. She should not notorize anything. If he is going to be a butthead even though she confessed, and apologized, then he doesnt really want to try and make it work out. Where was he when she found all this spare time to have an affair? Maybe she wasnt the only one playing the field..........
2007-03-28 17:10:13 · answer #3 · answered by detroit_tat2man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The courts will do nothing!!!!!!This no fault divorce , lets everyone get away with anything they want . The only one that gets hurt is the spouse that had to put up with the adultry.
I know. my ex and my youngest sister which are still together 4 years after the divorce. (oh, they call it friendship ---and so the my kids don't feel so bad he goes home two house down from hers every night at midnight, so he can say I don't spend the night) The court system is terrible. The only one hurt is the one that is left behind trying to clean up after the mess.
2007-03-28 16:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not have the confession notarized, that is a bunch of crap. I don't think custody has anything to do with infidelity but you can never be sure since it is sometime dependant on which judge presides. I really think the whole confession thing is going too far........ it is meant to demean and humiliate her and he will hold it over her forever. Yes, she screwed up BIG TIME but he needs to decide if he wants to forgive her or not.
2007-03-28 16:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She would be crazy if she writes a statement and has it notarized. She will give the man ground to prove she is unfit. She has been having sex with her brother-in-law and the children are living in the same home.
Her husband may say he has forgiven her but believe me he will never forget. She better leave well enough alone and pray that he does not kill her and his brother.
2007-03-28 16:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by destine4_69 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
depends on the state like someone said in my state of California its a no fault state so they wont really care to much about it and as long as she was still doing what she needed to as a mother it has no ground for that either but i would tell him to kiss my a55 he is only doing this so he can humiliate her with it and hold it over her head when he wants by say if you don't do this or that i will show everyone your mom,friends etc and since its notarized and you signed it they will believe me so if nothing else he will use it like that just to be a jerk so i wont do it unless she wants everyone to find out that way or she wants to be the one to slit her own throat! and if he is saying hes gonna make her life hell then why stay get out now he cant do anything to her in court so i would say see ya!
2007-03-28 16:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I like the way this guy thinks.
You bet he's protecting himself... in the event the marriage doesn't work, he has verifiable proof that she cheated and the courts most likely wouldn't give her alimony.
2007-03-28 16:35:17 · answer #8 · answered by jairman2004 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing the courts would care about is if she is a good parent, not who she slept with. But I wouldn't do it just on principal. Is he going to try to trust her or not?
2007-03-28 16:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by caraanne2005 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can not obtain a divorce because of adultery as that isn't one of the options available. Irriconcilable differences is what they would put on the divorce.
If he forgives her and loves her he wouldn't expect her to meet this condition as it isn't necessary.
2007-03-28 16:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋