They are good at criticizing others but themselves. Everything they do wrong or cannot accomplish, they blame it on people around them. Such words as "personal space" & "this is not your life" have no meaning to them. If I tell them the truth, I don't think I'll get any support but criticism. I'm concerned they could be so intrusive that they would go to his family and take matters into their own hands. What they don't realize is that this is MY life, not theirs. In their opinion, if my husband and I separate now, we should not have wasted our last 15 yrs together. Right, as if I knew my husband would cheat on me, again & again. I know my mom would also say "I told you so. Remember I said he might be good to you now but just wait when he gets older?" At this point in time, I don't think I can survive their cruel words. But then, we've been separated for over half a yr. I've been telling them we are separated temporarily due to employment. I can't keep on lying much longer.
2007-03-28 09:05:02 · 13 answers · asked by Azure 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yeah u will eventually have to tell the truth so set yourself up for hearing all those things u wish they wouldn't say to you, however you also should defend yourself a bit and tell them u dont wanna hear certain things(when they say them or) before they say them.
Damn its sometimes so freakin' frustrating being married ha?
I pray your spirits are high regardless of what you are being put through.....0=-)
2007-03-28 09:19:05 · answer #1 · answered by Tanyah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you have to even question this. When my hubby and I broke up I expected my mother's love and support. She did a complete 180 and fully supported my ex. It broke my heart and to this day I have not gotten over the hurt or the anger. Hubby and I chose not to share all the reasons with her, as we felt that was personal and it was our business. Had I known then what I know now I would have told her everything and she, most likely, would have done things differently, but the fact remains, she didn't. He is still in her good graces and I am not. He is included in all family events, she has him to dinner often, and I rarely get to see her. It's rather sad, but she made her decision long ago and I won't try and change her mind now. What bothers me is that he has allowed this to continue all this time. I love her, she's my mom, but we don't begin to have the relationship we once had. If you anticipate them being mean and cruel, be prepared for the worst. It just might happen. Hang in there and good luck to you.
2007-03-28 09:44:02 · answer #2 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/OSRgn
However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?
You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.
2016-02-12 05:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by Kaycee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it particularly is a hard one. you have blended love with an further-marital affair. understanding that he's in touch in an arranged marriage, better than in all probability he will nonetheless have responsibilities to father his baby. Are you waiting to be a step-mom? You the two have very sturdy emotions for one extra, yet there's a cultural conflict the place he's torn between his lover, and the mummy of his baby. you should the two evaluate going at the same time to a relationship counselor, and likewise a criminal consultant to be attentive to what your financial responsibilities could be, while/if he does divorce. base line, he's a married guy, with a baby.
2016-10-20 03:32:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing how your parents are so critical of everything and everyone tell them nothing, as it is NONE of their business. Should you get the divorce, wait until it has been finalized, and then invite them to dinner ( in a public place) and when you show up at the restuarant without the hubby tell them. I , personally would get divorced, wait a couple of months afterwards then invite them to dinner. So they dont like what has happened ------------it is YOUR life and NOT THEIRS. You have to do what is best for you, not them. It doesnt matter what they think and/or say.
2007-03-28 09:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth then tell them it's not open for discussion. If they insist leave. If their cruel anyhow, you know your not immune from it. so tell em and leave, their going to talk behind your back anyhow, but at least you have a clear conscious and can get on with your divorce.
Hope this helps
2007-03-28 09:14:18 · answer #6 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth sooner rather than later. Tell them that its your life, you've made mistakes and now you want to get on with the rest of your new life. Once you have told them you will feel much better. Good luck.
2007-03-28 10:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth and brace yourself!! They are going to find out anyway at some point - so you might as well get it over with!!
Why do you feel you have to tell them why you're leaving if you're worried about their reactions....Keep that info to yourself.
2007-03-28 09:53:26 · answer #8 · answered by brenny_boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth, then pretend to cry. Maybe they will lend a sympathetic ear and give you some hugs that you truly need right now. Good luck.
2007-03-28 09:11:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, this is your family!! don't be ashamed about what's going on. if u don't get the support that u need from them remind them that u waited this long to tell them. let your feelings be known! u need all the love and support from ur family during this difficult time. Good luck.
2007-03-28 09:12:05 · answer #10 · answered by Ruth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋