Okay, I had a baby girl in January of this year. I knew I was going to be induced, so I called my coworkers to let them know. NOBODY came to visit. To top it off, none of my coworkers invited to my baby shower came either! Theye eventually came to visit us at home a few weeks later.
Fast forward to today. A coworker of mine just had a baby yesterday- a planned c-section. Not only did my "office" send her a huge bouquet to the hospital, but everyone left at lunch today to go visit her! They all left me behind to answer the phones. I got the short end of the stick here. The other new mommy and I both started within a month of each other, it's not as if she had been here for such a long time that it would justify different treatment. Should I say something to my co-workers? Would that make me ungrateful for the few gifts that they gave for the baby? Should I just say the heck with 'em all and let is go? I'm insulted BIG TIME.
thanks
2007-03-28 09:01:41 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
honey don't let them get the best of you, f them people be bigger then they are and let it roll off your shoulders like water. I know you are hurting but apparently these people are not your friends they are co-workers and thats what they want and act like. Be the nice person you are and smile at them while you are thinking of them working in their underwear. I hope this makes you laugh:) hang in there GIRL!!
2007-03-28 10:13:29 · answer #1 · answered by marymcupcake 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be hurt, too. I wouldn't say anything, though. It seems to me that they have "bonded" more with the other gal. Perhaps you can make more of an effort to become part of the group, if it matters to you. Kill 'em with kindness, ya know.
I had a group in my office that HATED me big time. They hated me because I took a job that they felt should have been given to one of thier buddies. Plus, I fired thier "buddy" after I got in that position. (she really did deserve it - totall racist.) But, a year later passed, and once they got to know me, they LOVE me. They tell me I am the best boss they ever had. My strategy was to keep it professsional, be kind, and treat them as I would like to be treated. I just brushed off all that stuff that bothered me, and didn't let it show.
Congrats on the new baby! I hope your work situation gets better for you.
2007-03-28 16:40:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... not many guys chiming in on this one, but that won't stop me :-)
You definitely got a raw deal, but it may not be as bad as you think. Unless you know that they don't like you (or that they REALLY like her) it's probably just that someone "organized" things for your co-worker and no-one thought to do it for you. Everyone might have been thinking "we should do something for her" when it was your time, but no one took the initiative. Maybe they felt bad about that this time someone took the lead.
One person collecting and organizing can really make a difference in how the entire group appears to handle something like this.
Initially I would be really upset about this too, but as for mentioning it, it's all up to what you are willing to accept in potentially damaged relationships. If you are willing to take the risk of finding out that they really DON'T like you for the chance to find out that they all felt bad about it and didn't know how to fix it...? Then go ahead and bring it up. Otherwise just let it go and you might avoid a really awkward work environment :-)
And Congrats on the new daughter. If you are back to work already you really don't need any more stress than you already have! Take care.
2007-03-28 16:18:20 · answer #3 · answered by Allen W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let it go. You can't get everyone in this world to like you. Honey, maybe they just don't like you. I know that your feelings might be hurt, but just keep your head held up high. Co-workers are co-workers, friends are friends, and family is family. Just be grateful that you had true friends at your baby shower. Worrying about co-workers is very insignificant. Love that baby of yours and don't worry! Be the bigger person. Remember, they did get you something as a gift, right? They could've got you noting. Be grateful.
2007-03-28 16:12:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be hurt!!! But I wouldn't say anything. It's just not worth the effort.
Maybe they didn't know what to do at the time, but then felt bad so they visited you at home. Then they wanted to do it right with the other girl.
Let it go. Co-workers are a pain in the **** usually, and not worth the time we spend thinking and talking about them.
2007-03-28 16:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by sushishishi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to someone. In a private 1 on 1 with whoever you feel closest to. Be as non-confrontational as you can be -- explain your feelings, without blame, if you can -- for example, "I feel hurt because I was left behind while everyone else left", could be a good opening statement. If you don't let this out, and find out what everyone else is thinking, this will poison you and you will be miserable at work. Give them a chance to explain (maybe they think you are a very private person that wants your space, for example), and try to listen without anger. It's been my experience that talking things out usually makes things better.
2007-03-28 16:15:50 · answer #6 · answered by Ami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes... I would be insulted as well, but don't let it get you down! It sucks enough that you have to first of all: work, and second of all" work with people like that. Lol. Just let it go. You have a beautiful baby at home to think about.
2007-03-28 16:12:49 · answer #7 · answered by Edith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset also, but is it really worth telling everyone off and causing extra tension. There could be all sorts of reasons like maybe they didn't think that you actually wanted them there or maybe they take you as a private type. Maybe they were all just really busy when you had yours. Just blow it off. Be happy that you have your wonderful baby, and you don't have to share your baby with any of them.
2007-03-29 04:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by Christina J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you're insulted, I would be, too. However, you have to work with these people everyday. Don't rock the boat, but remember this when they come and ask you for help with something like this for someone else. Just hold a small grudge but don't let it interfere with your work.
2007-03-28 16:53:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I hate to say it but to b honest maybe they just like her better.people r like that. u can't expect all the people to run and jump for u all the time because rather u want to believe it or not people do show favoritism maybe u should say something,But what would that prove?Just 4get about it just when they time come around just don't acknowledge the fact that their in need of attention. PS.congratulations!!!!
2007-03-28 16:09:24 · answer #10 · answered by blaque 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋