what the hell?

Question

I'm a house wife. I stay home and take care of the kids and all that kinda of stuff house wifes should do, but I have a limit. My husband thinks I should get up every morning and make his lunch. Now is it right that I don't? I cook, clean, take the kids to school, go to the market when we need things, pay the bills on time, wash clothes, read to the kids and make sure the house is organized before I go to bed. Am I just not doing my job? "He thinks because he works I should be doing his lunch because that is a wifes job"

ok, some may think what the heck it's just lunch. I've made it for him, even woke up one hour befor he did, but come on I'm 30 and I don't need bags under my eye's, yeah I excepted the 3-0. I ended up making his lunch the night before and for what? He didn't even get it, because he thought I should be up making it fresh. I am tired of hearing all the mambo out of his mouth, and how he speaks it freely around my daughter...mommy stays home, mommy makes lunch. Like what? I don't want my daughter growing up thinking that. The only reason why I stay home is because what better person can teach my youngest? me! Oh by the way he is a heavy equipment operator.

Answer 1

Screw him! He's a grown man and perfectly capable of making his own lunch. If it's a matter of just putting leftovers from dinner into a storage container, then I don't see that it would be too big of a deal for you to do that. But if he actually wants you to pack a lunch like you would for your kids, then he needs to do that himself! I love men who think that being a housewife is an easy job. Make him stay home for a couple of days (take a long weekend to a spa or girlfriend's) and leave a list of everything you do during the day and tell him it needs to be done by a certain time. You'll see that he'll find it impossible to accomplish all that you leave b/c men aren't cut out to multi-task like us women can! Girl power!

Answer 2

First of all. I feel like children can benefit by being in child care. They learn to interact with other children and adults. I work outside of the home and take care of the house and children and I fix his lunch. Our youngest is 15 years old and I am now the big 40 and I have sprouted horns! My husband doesn't know if he is coming or going. I give as good as I get now. And I still have a long ways to go. I created the monster now I have to tame him. Tell him to take a weeks vacation to stay home and do everything that you do and leave the house everyday at the same time he does and come home the same time he does and leave him a chore list. Maybe he will appreciate you a little more. You can do volunteer work on your week off. Tell him not to forget to set the alarm so that he will have enough time to get your lunch ready!

Answer 3

I don't think it is unreasonable for him to make his own lunch for work. Tell him if you make his lunch, he has to trade off and do something for you in return. When he tells you that you are supposed to do it as "your" job, this actually means he doesn't value what you do all day anyway.
He should make the lunch before he goes to bed, too. Why does he have to have it made by you in the morning?
I wouldn't give in on this at all. Men LOVE being catered to and personally I wouldn't stand for it. You his WIFE, not a slave.
Are there chores he does on the weekend? mow the yard, take out the trash, keep up the car? People can get in a rut on "gender divided roles" I'd definately throw him curve over this...each of you gives the other 100% right? So it's no big deal to give him this little duty as his own.

Answer 4

You sound like you are a great wife. I do think that lunch should be made but if he ever complains then he should make it himself. My fiance (wife in less than 3 wks) makes my lunch every day and I never complain no matter what. If you do everything else as you say you do then some things are ok to let slide (in my opinion). Why not do this, make his lunch but do not do anything else (clean house, wash clothes, etc...) for one day. When he complains that you didn't tell him you were tired from having making his lunch that morning. Make him choose. But my honest opinion is, it is a wife's duty to prepare a lunch even if it is a hot pocket thrown in a walmart bag.

Answer 5

Ahhh, the house wife anger is valid but is usually expressed out of ego and pride. Should you make his lunch? Yes, should he help with the family and house? Yes. Making his lunch and managing all you do can be looked at negative like or you could take pride in all that you're able to do and know that while he feels like the head of the household technically you are. Wives have to allow husbands to have ego or else they are good for nothing. He wants lunch, put a little of dinner aside in a storage bowl and send it to work with him. If he complains simply smile each time and tell him, honey the kids eat what I give them until they are able to provide for themselves and so will you. Honestly, though we both work and have no children, my husband does all the cooking and makes my lunch daily. I love it, but I know if I want something specific I'd better make my own lunch.

Answer 6

Do you live in your husband's house, i.e., is it his name that solely appears on the mortgage contract or the rental agreement?

If so, I would do as he says & asks unless you want him to throw you out in the street!

If not, I would gently remind him that you're neither his maid nor his slave (after all, you don't get paid for all your hard work, am I right, or does he give you some kind of "marriage allowance" every week?) and also that both your names are on the mortgage contract/rental agreement and if he doesn't appreciate you for everything you do for him already, he can pack his **** and leave!!!



P.S. Is your husband expecting a cooked meal for lunch or just a sandwich with a juice box, an apple and a candy bar or something? If so, what is the big deal?!?




Hope that helps!

Good luck & take it easy "hausfrau"!

Answer 7

You're issue is with making his lunch. Honey!!! That isn't even worth fighting about. Buy some tv dinners or some soup. (anything you can pop in the microwave). It's not something that should be done because it's your wifely duties, but it would be nice and I'm sure he would appreciate it. And you don't have to make anything outrageously nice. Microwave dinners, or a sandwich. Also you could make a little extra each night from dinner and pack that the night before for his lunch. You'll already be in the kitchen.

Answer 8

If you don't want to get up and make his lunch in the morning.Do it the night before.That is what I do for my hubby.I also am a stay home mom.But I also home school my son,care for my elderly parents,fill in at his job when I am needed there,mow the lawn,wash the cars,And do everything else you have mentioned.Not to mention I also have to find time for psychical therapy because I am trying to regain my strength on my left side after I had a stroke a year and a half ago.So I am sorry I don't feel sorry for you. That is what us stay at home moms have to do it is our job.If you didn't want to have to do all of the work involve.You shouldn't have taken the job.Besides which is easier making the lunch that take all of 2 minutes or hearing his bitching for days on end.

Answer 9

I would've said that's a mother's job. If I have leftovers the night before, I put them in those little tupperware containers with dividers and sometimes he'll take those to lunch. Or I've bought frozen dinners that he's packed and taken. I can't say I've actually gotten up early to make sandwiches and cut off crusts. Does he do anything besides bring home a paycheck? If you got paid fairly by the hour, would you be out-earning him? I'm assuming he's a grown man. If he had asked nicely, maybe you could do it once in a while. But that just sounds crappy.

Answer 10

You should trade places with him for a day. Have him do all the house work and take care of the kids and you go out and do whatever you want for the same amount of time he would if he was at work. Before you leave make the same messes he would make and expect him to clean up. After that day if he still feels you should make his lunch, than he truly doesn't appreciate all the things you do for him and you should be honest and tell him how worn out you are after your day and he is not that only one working to make the family work.