My husband bought an ipod which was $400 okay and the other day I was checking our account balance and saw where he spent $50 11 times ordering music from apple ipod and he say's he thought all of this music was free- a lie once again. But now we have maybe $70 to our name. I feel bad getting mad because I dont have a job and he is in the military so he brings in the money. I seriously thought of deleting the stupid apple ipod icon from our computer so he couldn't order music anymore but he says ill delete his memory on the ipod. But why would he think the music was free when he oviously gave his card number to the company this doesnt make since. What would you do?
2007-03-28 08:15:59 · 11 answers · asked by Barbara 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There isn't anything you can do at this time about what happened earlier with the downloading of music that cost money.
What you can do is sit down with your husband NOW and try to work out an arrangement you both can be happy with in the future. He will get paid again so you won't be broke forever.
Couples fight about money because they feel differently about it, how it should be spent, saved, etc. . Time for you two to sit down and tell each other what your money style is and then find a way to compromise so both of you can be happy. The key here is to remember that you two are different, no one is wrong, just different. Make your differences work for you.
I don't know why you are not working but would imagine that it is because you are unable to for some reason or another. If not, then think about working as it may ease the financial situation for both of you.
2007-03-28 08:22:05 · answer #1 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be upset with your husband, but don't get carried away with it. And why would you take it upon yourself to delete the icon, as if this man is a child? It sounds like he made an honest mistake. Of course, he's not as smart as you are, but it does make "sense" that he thought the music was free. And "since" you don't have a job, why not give your man a break? That's what a loving wife would do.
2007-03-28 09:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but something like this needs to be nipped in the bud. While he may be the moneymaker, you're still a family and you need communication and compromise. That being said, explain to him that buying something of that magnitude without speaking to you is irresponsible, selfish and just plain wrong. You two need to be on the same page. And if he's lying to you, it's because he knows he's done wrong. If he has any sort of respect for you and your family, he'll 'fess up, apologize and delete the account on his own. If not, divorce him. (LOL) Just be careful. Lies are lies, no matter how big or small. He shouldn't make it a habit. Also, keep in mind that this sort of behavior will only get worse if you don't do anything about it. Do you want to be broke, bankrupt and divorced in two years? Take my advice~do something! Don't be broke, bankrupt, and separated with a baby on the way like I did!
2007-03-28 08:27:46 · answer #3 · answered by Deedlebug18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not impossible that he thought the music was free. some of the web sites are very confusing, and imply the first 10 songs are free, but then they are not. I think you should ask him to not download anymore music. then sign up for limewire, or put some of your cd's on the computer so he can have that music on his i-pod. This is a way of supporting his hobby while saving money. It is also helpful if you sat down with a list of your monthly bills with him so he understands how much money is left over for fun.
2007-03-28 08:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by mliz55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll learn his lesson when you can't buy groceries or gas next week. Just because he brings home the bacon doesn't mean he get's to hog it (ha ha. I know, bad joke). Family needs come first. We're super broke right now with both of us working because we have one house on the market and are living in another. My husband is away in the police academy. While I eat Ramen Noodles to save money and carpool for 35 miles (each way) of my commute (which is 55 miles each way) with a girl sometimes drives me bonkers to save money, he goes and blows 20-some dollars on dinner on his one night of liberty each week. He says, "it's only 20 bucks". Yeah, that's 80-100 each month, when we are down to about 10 bucks between paychecks. Men just don't get it. I love my husband and I'm sure you love yours, but it's typical male, impulsive behavior. Their like kids in a candy store when it comes to fun things. My therapist (a man) told me "most men only see far enough in front of their nose to not fall into a hole on their faces. the other ones do fall on their faces, and do it again."
I tried the whole "if we can't both afford to do it, don't do it because it's not fair." Basically, share what extra we do have, so I don't have to eat Ramen Noodles. He said, "then spend some money on yourself." So, this month, I did, and I think he's getting the point. You might just have to play, "who can spend it first" to prove a point.
If he doesn't want you to work (I'm not saying that is the case, just "if"), then tell him you're going to get a job so you can enjoy some extra money, too.
2007-03-28 08:27:54 · answer #5 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the first time that he has done something like this or is this a habit? If he truly made a one time mistake let him know in no uncertain terms that it cannot happen again, and try to forgive him. If their is a pattern to this, then you need to get control of the card(s), and not let him have access to the account if he cannot be responsible enough to realize that you have to pay bills, buy groceries, etc.
2007-03-28 08:27:59 · answer #6 · answered by penny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is too late because the money is already spent, but you two really need to sit down and talk about a budget, and may I suggest if you do not have children you need to get a job two paychecks are better then one.
2007-03-28 08:29:21 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea i think he may have lied, but I am very progressive, if the bills are being paid and food is coming to the table, your not working then (and this is my NOT OLD FASHIONED thinking) then it is his money and yes I always feel this way even in a relationship of my own. Because frankly I want my own damn money in a relationship too !
2007-03-28 08:21:53 · answer #8 · answered by jackie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Prioritize your budget. Each of you have an allowance.
Plus, you can always get a part time job to help with the expenses.
2007-03-28 08:22:21 · answer #9 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take his card away. He spent $550 on music downloads? That is absurd.
2007-03-28 08:20:41 · answer #10 · answered by Catherine T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋