I had a contentious divorce from my husband - I hate even having his last name. However, we have a son. Should I keep the married name in order to be consistent with my son's last name?
2007-03-28 08:12:19 · 38 answers · asked by 13th Floor 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To Jesus: Don't shame me -- he wanted the divorce because he found a young girlfriend. I was an honest spouse.
2007-03-28 08:19:11 · update #1
I changed my last name back to my maiden name. It made me feel better. It was easier to get him off my mind since I wasn't constantly reminded of his last name, as if I still belonged to him. If it makes you feel better, change your name. Don't worry that your name and your childs name will be different. Divorce, unfortunatley is very common and people will understand.
2007-03-28 08:17:52 · answer #1 · answered by ♥poppy honey♥ 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I do not have the same last name as my boys. I do not have any problems with that. If I get a divorce from my husband ( which I hope never happens) then I would take my maiden name back. I would not want the last name of someone I am no longer with.
2007-03-28 08:20:36 · answer #2 · answered by unknown2u 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were to marry again would you take your new husband's name or keep the "old husbands" name. I finally decided to take my maiden name back and even though I have remarried, I still have kept my maiden name. Either way, you won't have your son's last name forever unless you plan on remaining single, then, keep his last name for the sake of ease.
Good luck.
2007-03-28 08:33:06 · answer #3 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I legally took back my maiden name when I was divorced. We had no children and there was no reason to keep his name and I did not want to be saddled with his last name.
Your case is different, so it will be your choice. I do know many children of different ages whose mother has a different last name because she either took her maiden name back or had remarried. The schools are very used to parents having different last names. If I were you I would get my maiden name back. It's the love between you and your son that counts, not what your names are.
2007-03-28 08:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would say yes to keeping the married name for the sake of your son. When I married my wife she hyphenated using my name and her ex husbands for the same reason. While I have always been opposed to the whole hyphenating thing I found myself in agreement with her once she explained that she desired keeping her connection to her son. How could I take that away from her. She subsequestly never knows how to sign her name on checks or otherwise. Because she has one name for the school one name for banking another name on her drivers license etc! I should have just changed my name to her ex's to make life easier on all of us. That would have been what my step child would have wanted Ha!
2007-03-28 08:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a bitter divorce also, but had 2 children. I wanted the same last name as my kids, so I kept my husbands name. I did it for the children.. it is just a name after all...
That is a personal choice however and it really depends on what is important to you. I do think though you only get once chance to decide and once you either keep it or do not, you cannot change your mind. So be secure in your decision.
2007-03-28 08:16:48 · answer #6 · answered by Steffi 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would keep it. My husband told me he wanted a divorce last spring (we didn't go through with it and get along great now), and my first response was to take back my maiden name. However, we have a daughter, and I changed my mind for that reason. Looking back, I still think it would have been the right decision had we gone through with our divorce. It's really just personal preference. Hope this helps.
2007-03-28 08:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Make yourself happy go back to your maiden name. I made the mistake of keeping it for the children's sake, as the kids got older. I said why am I carrying his name, which people thought I was still carrying a torch for him, as I kept his name, young people are not so old fashioned about the name thing. He then got married so think how foolish I felt then. I did change it back, and felt so much better. It made me feel good to have my father's name again, especially as my father was good to me, and was always there for me.
2007-03-28 08:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by Maria A. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The consistency depends on you. You know that he has your ex's last name because he is the father of your child, but you now have no relation to him, except in memory. The choice is up to you, but it seems like you've already decided.
I, personally, would change it back to my maiden name as a means to start over as an individual. The past is the past and you chose to remember it or not.
2007-03-28 08:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by ANT-a-gonistic 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should take your maiden name back if you hate his last name. However, you should keep your son's present last name to avoid confusion for him.
2007-03-28 08:46:44 · answer #10 · answered by Florence N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋