I have been dating my fiance for almost two years now. We are very open and honest about everything to each other. I do have a problem. They have a beautiful little girl together. The two cats that they had live with us. I understand that they have to talk about child issues from time to time, and she comes to our house (when I am at work) to visit the cats. I don't want to see or meet her. They have been divorced now for a few months (We were serious with each other before it was final). She has dated a few guys and one even asked her to marry him and she said no. She later told my fiance it was because she wanted him back and that god told her that they were getting back together. My jealousy is horrible. I am afraid that it will tear us apart. Everytime she calls, it makes me sick. I just can't imagine what else she is going to say. He tells me all the time that I am fearing and driving myself crazy for no reason. But it is so hard. I want to stop, but my question is how?
2007-03-28 07:58:42 · 8 answers · asked by Chris'_girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, no matter how much she wants him back, it appears he is not interested. I think you should trust him but I am not cool with her coming to your house to visit the cats...that is weird. I think he needs to set some boundaries with her. And if she continues pursuing him, he needs to set her straight because if he is just sort of kicking back, enjoying the attention, it is not healthy for her or you.
2007-03-28 08:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I feel for you! First of all, she should not be coming over when you are at work for any reason! That is just out of line! If she wants to "visit the cats" i would say that she can have visitation just as he does with the daughter! She can have the cats every other weekend or something. Yes, they do need to speak to each other about their daughter...they are tied together via her for the rest of their lives...not just until she turns 18...there will hopefully be things like a wedding and grandchildrens birthday parties and such that will always be there...Look at it this way...at least you have an honest relationship with him-at least it would appear so. Just talk to him and tell him that it makes you feel VERY uncomfortable that she comes there when you are at work and the fact that she told him that she wants him back is very upsetting to you. I don't know who left whom but, there is a reason that they are not together. You may not want to see or meet her now but, if you plan to be in his life for very long, eventually you will have to. If you can't just relax after telling him how it makes you feel then I would suggest PAXIL! Works for me! :) LOL Good luck to you!
2007-03-28 08:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by Ridiculous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen this never going to end if you let stay the way it is.The cat visit is just a excuse.She shouldn't be going to your house anyways.If she has something to say to him about their daughter that should be done by the phone.She will not rest while she doesn't finish your relationship.You should tell him that has to stop.Your jealousy is not wrong so put a end on it before she gets what she wants.You don't have to acept this kind of behavior from him,who knows what is going on while you are not there.
2007-03-28 08:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by realistic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how it is and i think milion of us had this situation. You really need to go over this jealosy with all your power and risks. He is overcome by your reactions and this will always drive him crazy. Be indifferent! It will be very hard but it works!Show him absolutely no interest about the issue! Make yourself interesting to him! It will help at leat to find your self confidence... and he will be back to you!!
Good luck
2007-03-28 08:10:25 · answer #4 · answered by mirelce 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think u know in ur heart of hearts what is really bothering u try coming home early from work on the days shes visiting the cats
2007-03-28 08:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by mmbmw2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are the problem. find out why you have stopped maturing, this is not an insult. We all have reasons that hold us back. Make it your business to find this out, or you will lose everything you care about.
2007-03-28 08:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by Real Friend 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You will have to learn to trust him if you are going to marry him.
2007-03-28 08:04:23 · answer #7 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you really feel about his ex,and what she is saying
2007-03-28 08:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by Troubled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋