A friend of mine is in a seriously committed relationship. They have been for what will be one year. She is 15 years older than he is but he thinks she is 4 years older than he is. How can she reveal this secret without destroying what could be her future husband? Do you think after the secret is revealed, the relationship will last? They love each other more than words can express and share most of their time together.
2007-03-28 07:56:01 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So, she has been lying about who she is all this time? Why?
The age difference isn't THAT big of a deal in itself - it's the lying. He's going to wonder - what else is she lying about? Maybe she will lie in the future if she feels it would benefit her?
People should think about these things before they start serious relationships. Relationships based on lies don't work out.
2007-03-28 08:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think this relationship can survive this kind of deception and there is no good way for the truth to come to light. It would be different if he thought she was 4 years older and she was instead 8. That would be shock enough but possibly something he could still comprehend - and it is double what he believes to be the age difference. You are talking about almost 4 times what he thinks is the age difference. It will never go down easy and he will be shocked about this for a long time.
Let's say he is 26 and thinks she is 30. Good for her for preserving herself so well. That will not last unless she has everything nipped and tucked yearly once she reaches 40. He thinks she's 30 in this example and she is instead 44 - whoa! She's overdue for all of that already. Not to mention her biological clock is clanging like a gong except he can't hear it yet!
No. No. NO.
And a seriously committed relationship is in deep trouble with a lie like that in the wings, waiting to be revealed.
2007-04-03 12:16:19 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend should have never lied in the first place. But if he truely loves her then they will be able to move past it. Age is just a number the big problem is if he will think that she has lied about other things since she lied about something so petty. But at the same time he should have been able to tell that there was more than a 4 year age difference if she's 15 yrs older than him.
2007-04-05 07:00:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this really a question for your friend? Then how do you know that "they love each other more than words can express...." First and foremost if he thinks she is 4 years older than him but is really 15 years older..then your friend must be really hot. I don't think it will be an issue...but she lying about her age might turn into an issue...but who knows it just might spice things up. Goodluck to you and your friend.
2007-04-05 08:00:36 · answer #4 · answered by rada 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things are definitly going to be pretty messed up after, but she has to tell him the truth A.S.A.P!! She made the mistake of not being honest from the start, so she better fix this now. If they are truly meant to be, he'll get over it eventually(not right away, it wont be her age that'll he'll be pissed about, he'll be pissed about the lies.) If he ends up breaking it up, well that's just the way things are going to have to be. If it was truly the great relationship you say it is, she would have never lied in the first place.
2007-03-28 08:04:03 · answer #5 · answered by Mimi149 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of the most precious things about love is that u can trust the person u r with entirely....that is not happening in this case and it is ashame. this may kill what could have been a very real thing! i'd suggest fessing up immediately even if she thinks it means she will lose him....maybe there is still a chance it could work out. trust is hard to win back once it's lost, though. i hope she has a good explanation for him.....i'd speak from my heart on this one, not my head. good luck to her.
2007-04-04 12:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"love knows no boundaries" might be a cliche but it is true, if both of you were honestly involve and strongly loves each other i do not think that revealing one's biological age would matter, after all we do not grow old for love we just get better each year like a wine it is tastier through the years.
2007-04-05 06:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by wildflower 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship has been a year already....it's presumed that they really love each other and the love had been stronger than the first time they met....she must tell the TRUTH....he might be surprised at first but he will get over it and will appreciate her truthfulness.
2007-04-05 02:26:44 · answer #8 · answered by noemi jane c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they're That committed, tell him NOW! It shouldn't matter. If it does, what can the future hold? Get it out in the open instead of living a lie. The longer it goes on, the more doubts it will raise about her honesty in other areas.......
2007-03-28 08:08:43 · answer #9 · answered by aural_play 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it! She is 15 yrs older! WOW!
It is true when you get older you want a younger man.
She did the right thing by lying! He might have been completely scared off for that one reason.
When she signs the wedding papers, wills, etc.. there is no way it can't come out.
Have her try hinting around..do not just come out with that shocker...
2007-03-28 08:04:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋