my son is 5 years old...and hes already asking me what sex is and why his penis gets hard, etc...he wants me to join him in the shower and teach him how to shower himself without anyone helping him...but my wife usually bathes him (she has her clothes on of course and bathes him in the bathtub)...id feel too weird touching my naked son....it just wouldnt feel right....and one day he asked if we could compare our penises together and i yelled at him and grounded him and told him that was inappropriate....but hes constantly asking to look at my penis and wants to know how big it is and stuff...but i think that would be wrong and kind of sick for a father to show his son his penis and let him touch it....I mean I know it's important for a son to have a manly father figure in his life and stuff...and let him know he can come to me for anything....but this might be taking it a little too far...dont yall think? suggestions please!
2007-03-28 07:15:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
I'm not a man but as a nurse and mother of two boys, I can help with this question. You got some terrible advice already! Your child is at the normal age to start asking questions!
First of all, answer his questions honestly, briefly and with real names (none of the cutesy stuff like "pee pee, willie, etc). Never elaborate...he will ask exactly what he wants to know. Your son has reached the normal age for sexual curiosity...and you may even catch him masturbating. If you do, just discuss with him that he should never do it in public. In time, he will stop...at least until his teenage years.
His views on sex will be molded by you. If you treat his questions as a source of embarassment or something to be ignored, he may grow up thinking sex is taboo or dirty. Also, if you don't provide the information, he will get it elsewhere and what he is told may not be what you would have taught him. Children are curious by nature and, if a parent doesn't satisfy that curiosity, they will find someone who will.
You can teach your son to shower without touching him or even getting in the shower with him but, at the age of 5, it is not unusual for a son to want to shower with his dad. This is normal curiosity. He is discovering his body and that his is different from others. He wants to see how your penis is different from his...this is all normal! You can always shower with him and let him know it is a one time thing since it bothers you so much. If you can't do it, then stand outside the shower and instruct him step by step how to shower by himself.
By the way, this curiosity exists even at other ages and has nothing to do with being "gay"...here is some interesting reading that you might find helpful:
http://www.sexualityandu.ca/parents/sexuality-2.aspx
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/Forum80/HTML/000143.html
http://www.scholastic.com/earlylearner/experts/behavior/3_5_curiosity.htm
http://www.helium.com/tm/192595/little-their-penises-infants
http://www.ejhs.org/volume3/Haroian/body.htm (see section on Age 5)
http://www.aacap.org/page.ww?name=Talking+To+Your+Kids+About+Sex§ion=Facts+for+Families
You might want to read some books that are age specific and will help you know how to talk to your child about sexual issues as they arise.
2007-03-28 10:03:31 · answer #1 · answered by ilse72 7 · 12⤊ 0⤋
Where to start? He's 5 so I doubt he's ready for the "talk" yet. At least not all of it. He may not believe that stork thing, because he seems like a smart kid (I guess). The shower thing, I think its OK for you to show him, while HE is in the shower, but you shouldn't join him. You shouldn't feel weird bathing ( touching sounds bad for some reason) your son. About comparing sizes, maybe not a good idea. Try one of those Men's anatomy sites or something. And you shouldn't ground him for being curios (not gay) about his body. It's better for you to show him the way, instead of some other loser that may be a pedophile. Wow that was alot, did i answer all of your questions?
2007-03-28 09:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by rio27713 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your response and feelings are no more odd or strange than any father in the same situation.
Forget about the negative things that some people might suggest.
If you love your son (and I assume you do) and you want him to LEARN about his body (as opposed to denying him information), then you can find a way to answer his questions.
What would you do if you were a mother and this was your daughter?
Does the child not DESERVE straightforward and complete answers to life's normal physical changes?
Every mother has to cross that bridge some day with their daughter; informing them about menstruation, and the fact that the clitoris has but ONE function ~ pleasure.
There is NO reason in the world that you cannot tell him that it's normal for him to become erect, that it's normal for him to experience pleasure when he touches himself, that - I assume - you also indulge in that same pleasure.
If it's normal and healthy, why do people seek to paint it in any other light? Why LIE to the child?
No, you don't have to touch him, although a parent obviously touches their child when they're infants; cleaning them and keeping everything sanitary.
No, you don't have to give him a demonstration, but you can certainly tell him as much TRUTH as you're comfortable with.
What's the alternative?
And, as ilse72 says, there's nothing wrong with nudity.
We've enjoyed social nude recreation for many years, and we encounter many families with children, and those children grow up just as healthy and sane as ANY...maybe even moreso.
2007-03-28 10:45:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to Isle 72--she is right on target. There is nothing wrong with you bathing your son at this age, or even showering with him, he certainly needs to be comfortable being nude around other males, especially including his dad---don't get hung up on the sexual context of it all.
While as he gets bigger, you can't take showers together in your home, he should be comfortable showering with you all his growing years, into adulthood at public places like pools and gyms and camping sites. That's just normal guy stuff that dads and sons do. Nothing sexual about it. Same thing with urinating and changing clothes. Guys pee in front of other guys, including dads, and strip off and change clothes as well. Stifling openess can lead to shyness in doing these things, which can impact his social growth.
I know guys that bring their sons to the Y in the mornings, where the boys are exposed to bunches of buck naked guys. So what. We are guys. We all have the same body parts and they function the same.
I remember when I was a kid, it was no big deal to go into the swimming pool locker rooms and strip off with guys of all ages, and get changed into and out of swimming suits. Now it seems that so many people are afraid that gays and perverts are everywhere, some sheltered boys hide under a towel to change, and you see grown men trying to change inside toilet stalls! Good Grief.
Your son ought to be comfortable seeing you naked, as you are him. Certainly not with your penis in full erect glory, of course! He should also be taught to be comfortable with his own body and NEVER be told to be ashamed of it. As Isle 72 said, just answer his questions forthright, as he asks them; you know what you should and should not do, such as you should not show him your erection for comparison-- set limits on answering his curiosity. Good luck!
2007-03-28 10:44:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
haha... anyway... y would you feel weird touching your naked son.... he got the same organ as you in future.. touching it doesn't mean anything.. (stop your useless thinking too). maybe u could explain the parts to him but never tell him to try around or play around with it as he is still a young boy.. try to escape question if he's asking about getting hard on... and all those that adults does...
anyway hope you could teach your son well so that he wouldn't be a "over-knowledge" kid...
2007-03-28 23:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him what is appropriate for his age. At this point he is curious. You don't have to compare or anything else; just have a talk with him. The earlier education begins, the less problems you will have in the future.
Paramedic in SC
2007-03-28 09:24:28 · answer #6 · answered by JD, MAPSY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok..... this is scary but that is kinda wrong. tell him he is too young to learn about this just do the parent lies the stalk brings babies your penis gets hard cuse you have to go to the bathroom and i dont what to sound like a todle bitc* but maybe he is gay hope this helps
2007-03-28 09:08:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
kinda freaky !
check this web site though : www.kidshealth.com
2007-03-28 13:48:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right, it would be taking it too far. if you need someone to talk to who can offer helpful advice, contact me. my e-mail address is ctaylor_2003@yahoo.com i have an instant messager too. my im name is ctaylor_2003. if you do not have messenger, you can download it for free at www.messenger.yahoo.com hope to hear from you soon. good luck.
2007-03-28 09:20:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋