doing research on a paper. give me some good stuff and who knows maybe someday I'LL write a book and include you in it.
2007-03-28 07:10:25 · 9 answers · asked by Tracey Fahnestock 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm a product of divorced parents (they split when i was eight). My mom went through the motions, tried to make things special for me even though I'd hear her crying through the bathroom door over the sound of water pouring into the tub. She held it, and us, together, by sheer will power. email me if you have specific questions....I know how nasty papers can be without sources.
2007-03-28 07:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do whatever you can to make it as easy as possible on the children. They are the most important in this situation, nothing else really matters but their well being.
You and your ex also have to be smart enough to realize that children are innocent bystanders in all of this. You two screwed up the marriage, not the children.. so whatever resentment or bitterness has to be put on the side for the good of the kids.
Also make it clear to the kids, that this has NOTHING to do with them. You guys messed up, not them and that both parents will continue to be there and love them, etc.
Children carry a lot of behavior traits because of their parents. Some heredity and some learned traits. The learned traits should be good traits. If a child can see a healthy relationship between divorced parents, it will help them in life... learning how to handle difficulties and stress without being vindictive and crazy about it.
Also you have to have faith, I am a firm believer in the "everything happens for a reason" phrase. Things might look bleek but it is not the end of the world. Pick yourself up and get on with your life, learn from your mistakes and move on in a more positive direction. To much time is wasted dwelling on the "what if's" and feeling bad for yourself.
It is not the end of the world. Have faith that it was meant to be because there is something better out there for you...
2007-03-28 14:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by Steffi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is all about coping. If you have a child, your main focus will be on making sure that the child feels safe, secure and loved. You should also focus on yourself, making sure you stay healthy and sane during the process. It takes at least a year and a half for the hurt to go away. Anyone who jumps into a new relationship right away knows that you are just doing it to forget about the pain of the divorce. Its not fair to the person you begin to date.
I, personally, read a lot of self-help books, meditated, wrote in journals, took long walks, talked with friends and joined up with a lot of my friends.
2007-03-28 14:19:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a mind set. I went to a divorce group and they had us draw what we felt. i put a big question mark, because I didn't understand, I loved her to death we had 2 beautiful boys and I had a step daughter that I spoiled,I was gainfully employed no extreme hours. made her coffee,dinner,dishes,laundry, rocked our kids to sleep.
She finds a boyfriend. I world stopped turning. And I didn't know why.
You know what the answer was? Who cares I tried to figure it out, and slowly started my life over, always keeping my kids as close to me as she would allow, I kept looking forward now the I'm remarried, my son's are 16,17 yo. I look back and see the journey I've made, wouldn't want to go through it again, but not looking back after the wreck was the best thing I could have done.
It's like seeing a bad wreck on the highway, you look but not to long or you'll be the next accident, so you look then become a little more alert about your driving. Hope that made sense, What made it worst for me is I'm an Investigator, I should have seen the signs, talked to my mentor, he said I couldn't see the forest for the tree
Hope this helps
2007-03-28 14:23:48 · answer #4 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is hard on everyone. Im an adult with no children, however that is still hard to deal with. I was hospitalized 3 times when I was getting a divorce for dehydration. When Im upset or emotional I cant eat, I get really sick, so It was really hard to deal. All I could do was keep working, spend time with my friends, focus on getting my bills paid and try not to worry about anything else. It was a difficult period for me, and Id never want to do it all again. I hope I never have to.
2007-03-28 14:16:01 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st is to show and let the child know they are not the cause.....
try to stay busy it is not easy and you have to remember the child is also having troubles so make sure the child sees you adn know it is ok to be down after all both of our worlds are up side down now
I went to the bottle but quickly realized my answers were not in a bottle, but in myself,.learning to do things alone is hard, BUT IT IS THE FIRST STEP.and it is scary but the more steps you make the easier it gets
2007-03-28 20:52:03 · answer #6 · answered by Peggy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Just keep on go. Keep your head up. Don't look back . Take your baby and have your life. Find some one to love. Don't ever go back to him. Move out of town and get a GREAT job. Let you family help you. Get advice from family and friends.
2007-03-28 14:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time to recover and spend as much time with your child as you can.
2007-03-28 14:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
easy. u keep the child n the marthastewart oven mitts
2007-03-28 14:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋