it looks like this is a popular question!! but i need some advice, i have been with my fiance for 4 years and he has A 7 year old son (unwillingly, not to be rude) he has been out of work for about...3 months and we just moved in with his mother becuase her and her boyfriend of 15 years broke up. now everyone needs me to cover their butts with the rent and such. he doesnt clean at all during the day when his son is in school, and then rarely does he do his homework with him before everyone else gets home if he even does it at all, a lot of times myself or his mother does it. there are so many more details, but i think this is a good basis. he is very irresponsible with money....i love him though, im not sure if i should give him more time....?? help!!
2007-03-28 06:52:26 · 8 answers · asked by babydoll615 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
also, the boys mother, is a dirtbag and isnt around or even call for him, i love the boy and my fiance, but i dont even see us really getting married.....no job no money...ya know? anyone wanna really help, lol, email me radience111@yahoo.com
2007-03-28 07:12:35 · update #1
i must say, thank you all for the great and prompt answers!!
2007-03-28 07:27:51 · update #2
I would hate to influence your decision one way or the other, but it isn't likely to get any better. Time isn't going to change anything. As they say, what you see is what you get.
If he is a lazy bum now, he will be a lazy bum when you get married. The only difference is that you will be supporting the household even more than you do now. There is no excuse for a single father to be out of work for three months. He needs to take care of his obligations...unfortunately, you and his mother seem to be doing that for him.
It may be time to re-evaluate the relationship before he drains your finances too low.
2007-03-28 07:18:07 · answer #1 · answered by CBB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him more time to what? Realize that he's being a child and should get up off his lazy butt and do some work I hope! Your fiancee sounds like he is getting very comfy with your situation ie. letting you pay all the bills, cleaning and taking care of his mother and son. To quote Tina Turner "What's love got to do with it?" Love doesn't pay the rent, love doesn't clean the house! I'd leave his lazy butt pronto, don't invest anymore time with someone who doesn't have enough respect for what you're doing to do his fair share of the "work".
2007-03-28 07:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by flow_mj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG you have become his mother and care taker already. your being suckerd into this and now it feels like an obligation because of his son and I personally feel sorry for his son because he can't rely on his own father for help. your fiance has gotten way too comfortable with this situation and if i were you i'd get out like last week lol its hard i know because of his young son but its not fair when a guy puts a women into these kinds of situations and then if you leave then you feel responsible go figure. either set some boundries/ rules to get this corrected or just leave them all. either way he's gonna have to grow up. don't make excuses for him please.
2007-03-28 07:05:26 · answer #3 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being unemployed is 3 months is unacceptable. Unless he's out there really trying (which I doubt). By now he could have found "something". A man is suppose to support his family. And I don't think it was fair of him to move you in with his mother (to help out) when he don't have a job! Seems like you are being taken advantage of sweetheart. I won't tell you to leave, but I will say you need to weigh your options.
2007-03-28 07:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
* If he is like that now can you imagine what it will be like in 5 yrs of marriage ? No you should leave him and find someone ho cares for you and doesnt treat you like that it may be hard at first but im sure you will see you are much better off without him , i mean not only do you have to support your self you have to pay there rent and sh*t ! NO WAY !!! Good Luck *
2007-03-28 07:14:51 · answer #5 · answered by Aaron B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do not would desire to sense to blame approximately not being happy. Thank god purely about all those crimson flags got here approximately now and not after u have been given married. This of course is his "actual" character, and if so he will not replace. you have talked to him without outcomes. by no skill "settle" in life. You fell in love with the guy he grew to become into of course pretending to be, and u do not want to stay the the remainder of your life unhappy. you will desire to do what's terrific for u, and who is conscious after leaving he would turn over a clean leaf and understand devoid of attempt he wouldn't have you ever in his life, yet he will by no skill come to this information as long as he thinks u are purely giving empty threats. stable success
2016-11-24 19:37:39 · answer #6 · answered by sheneman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so common in today's society. I think that if you are seeing that he is trying,then you should give him another change. But if he is reluctant to change then you should hit the road because there is so many fishes in the see.
2007-03-28 07:11:34 · answer #7 · answered by Alicia S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could just do what mine does when i start getting lazy, come home yell at him for like an hour and then start packing ur stuff. Probly not the greatest idea but it gets me off my *** to do things.
2007-03-28 07:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by chris w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋