My husband told me he crossdresses? What should I do?

Question

My husband claims he isnt gay - he had me dress him in my bra panties nylons skirt blouse heels etc.. had me feel up his skirt and everything - he loved it - is he gay? Bi? or what what should i do - i liked it too but im kind of scared to where this is going

Answer 1

Of course your husband loved being dressed up as a girl, most guys do, but that doesn't make them gay or bi. You should worry or be scared, your husband is just a cross-dresser. And since you enjoyed it & he loved it, just dress him up as a girl more & have fun, but take him shopping for his own clothes so he doesn't have to wear your clothes.

Answer 2

I understand that you are scared! But you need to stay calm about this. The first thing you need to do is find out if he is a crossdresser (transvestite) or wants to actually become a woman (transsexual). If he is just a crossdresser, then you can enjoy buying clothes together and have fun with it. He is NOT gay or even bi. He just likes dressing in womens clothes. Some men who have very powerful jobs find it a kind of release to dress in women's clothes.

If he confesses that he is a transexual, well that is a deeper issue. You need to then find out if he is attracted to men, women or both. Find out how far he wants to take it, such as hormones, surgery, etc. Hopefully I am not scaring you, but you need to know this. Be open to his answers, don't judge at this point. I would suggest going to some MtF (Male to Female) web sites and doing research. There are many couples who stay together during this, all it takes is a bit of openmindedness, understanding and most of all education.

Please DO NOT confuse gender identity or crossdressing with homosexual behavior. Ones sexual identity has NOTHING to do with gender identity. So make no assumptions.

If it turns out that he is just a crossdresser, you may want to do a search for Southern Comfort (not the drink, lol). There is a yahoo group for the Southern Comfort yearly get together. Join the group and talk to some of the crossdressers and their spouses.

I hope this helps a little. I am a FtM (Female to Male), and have attended Southern Comfort, so that is why I am so famililar with the whole thing.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Enjoy it love, he is just showing his feminine side thats all. As long as he does it for you and doesnt harm or upset anyone what is he doing wrong. In fact in your position I would help him get his own clothes and shoes etc, and teach him to use make up etc., Because he likes doing this doesnt make him gay or anything like it, he just likes the feel of being dressed. It could even improve your sex life. Help him and you could really have a nice life with him. He isnt going to go any further than dressing and I think it is nice for a guy to do that. Do you wear jeans or trousers in public, if so what is wrong with a man wearing a skirt in the privacy of his own home with a wife that loves him. good luck and dont be frightened.

Answer 4

I'm a crossdresser and Iove it when my girlfriend takes advantage of me :-) I guess it just depends on how you feel about it. It by no means indicates that your husband is gay... crossdressing does not equal homosexuality although I am sure there are gay people who crossdress.

If you liked it just go with it! I would not worry too much but having good communication with your partner should be something you focus on. If I was going to get married I'd be damn sure my future wife knew about my crossdressing and likes/dislikes; I don't think it's fair to drop it on your partner way down the road as they should know "what they are getting" so to speak.

Good luck! Try to be positive about it and COMMUNICATE.

Answer 5

i am a cross dresser and certainly not gay, as said above the majoirty of men who cross dress ar straight.
I told my gf about a year ago, we are engaged to get married to. I reassured her that it was just the clothes. She also finds it a great fun and it does liven up things in the bed room alot. This has gone on to make our relationship stronger, me being in touch with my femmine side, all over a healthy a relationship.
We have great fun shopping as both have the same taste in clothing, especially if i am wearing a skirt out. He will understand why you do not like that skirt or dress, and understand why you have to dress. Imagine him having all the same feelings about womens clothes as you, it does have its advantages. Th fun you can have dressing up together, wearing sexy lingerie. You can even borrow some of his clothes if you like, my gf sometimes wears my skirts.
If you like it which it sounds you did embrace it, enjoy it and your relationship will prosper. And rember how secure he must feel with you and how much he trusts you for him to tell you. Good luck

Answer 6

Umm..maybe go shopping with him? A LOT of crossdressers are straight men. It's really not that unusual for a high percentage of transvestites and crossdressers to actually be straight. I've actually known several drag queens that in real life are straight men. What someone wears or likes has no direct correlation to their sexual identity. In fact, maybe he's just really really secure with his masculinity and sexuality. I think you should support that.
Or would you RATHER him be some macho, closed minded male a**hole?

Answer 7

Believe it or not, this is a REALLY common fetish for a lot of straight, ordinary men. You would be suprised. They way I see it, if he like it, which he obviously does, and you like it, why not keep going with it and see what happens? This could open up a whole new world of opportunity for you both. And you should be happy that your husband felt comfortable enough and trusted you enough to tell you. A lot of men are so afraid of how they'll be perceived by those who love them that they hide their secret in shame for years.

Answer 8

Relax, most cross dressers are straight. This is just a fetish that turns him on. If you can get over your obvious shock and be supportive of him (take him shopping for his lingerie...) then I think you'll find his devotion to you can only strengthen.

You can also be sure that he'll be more attentive and appreciative of you in your bedroom activities.

How wonderful that he could be so honest with you. It says a lot about how comfortable he is with your relationship.

Answer 9

Check out Eddie Izzard...He's a straight, married transvestite comedian. Keep the comunication lines open with your hubby...& maybe negotiate how many times a month he "dresses up" when you are together...Just a thought if you don't want this to always be the main event.

Answer 10

Most crossdressers are straight and don't wish for it to go any further than occasional dressing or going out to crossdressing clubs.