Well, I meet this girl some time ago... I was very attracted to her. She is gorgeous!!! But for some reason she couldn't stand me. Anyway, we ended up sharing a condo together. So even though I didn't like her and she me, we deiced to stay on our side of the condo. Six months later and we hardly get along. She acts very much like a *****! Getting mad over stupid little things. Long story short, I woke up last night. I heard something. It was coming from in her room. I knew it wasn’t a guy; she doesn’t have a boyfriend for some insane reason. I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I went in. She was curled up in bed having a nightmare, sobbing, and pushing at the sheets as if it were something or someone trying to harm her. I tried to wake her up, but this only made things worse. She began clawing at me and sobbing really badly, over and over, “ No, don-’t, don’t…Ple-ase I’m so so-rry, don’t ple-ase!” I gathered her up in my arms and tried to calm her down. She was burning up with fever! Her heart was pounding hard against my chest. Her eyes were huge, confused, and very frightened. It was very weird seeing her like this. She put me through hell and I should have walked away. But I couldn’t. She cried for over an hour as I held her, stroking her back and hair. When she finally stopped, she called my name as if confused, and said, “ Don’t leave me. I didn’t want him to hurt me again, I just didn’t want him to…”She buried her face in the side of my neck and started to cry again until she fell asleep. I don’t know how to ask her who hurt her, how, and when, without making her cry. How should I go about it??? Should I even ask her???
2007-03-28 06:48:22 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
No, this is not fake...I wish it was.
I use to write, so that's properly why it sounds like a book, or movie.
2007-03-28 07:00:02 · update #1
If you're not going to take my question seriously then please don't answer!
2007-03-28 07:02:21 · update #2
This reads just like those girl romance comic books from the sixties. Remember those? Just get some and see how the story ends, OK? That should help.
2007-03-28 06:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you need to decide whether or not she, as a person, is important enough to you to get yourself involved, and possibly suffer more consequences as a result.
It sounds as though she's had some extremely traumatic event take place, and it's is obviously affecting her tremendously.
If you care for the girl, and I think you do, thus evidenced by your taking the time to look after her (even if she's put you through a tough spell)...you should express your concern for her, and maybe let her know, you will be there to talk, or just to lend an ear...should she ever need someone...and then leave it to her to take you up on it or not.
It doesn't sound like something that it would be a particularly great idea to push the subject if she reacts that harshly... unless you think someone is currently and continuing to harm her.
If it's memories of a past event though...let her know your concern, and that you are there for her, and let it be if and until she decides to bring it to the table with you.
Despite your rocky beginnings Sir, it sounds as though you still have some pretty strong feelings and concern for her, I'd let that part of your gutt be your guide, rather than turning to the angry side of what isn't right in your arrangement.
Making her cry...she's already been at that...it's a release, its a healthy thing. Don't worry so much about her crying, as worrying about her as a person you care for.
2007-03-28 07:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Amy's Faded 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
don't directly push the subject as it sounds like she has suffered a fairly deep trauma and this will more likely cause her to leave ie run away from the problem.
i don't think that she is currently being abused or harmed as you say that she has been treating you bad for a while now but you shoul let her know that you are there fore her and that anything she may want to tell you no matter how bad you will continue to be there and support her finally remember that if she does decide to talk to you either then or at anytime in the future then it will be on her terms and you must respect that
2007-03-28 07:29:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say the ball is in her court on this one. Don't say anything, and wait to see if she brings it up. If she doesn't, she's obviously not comfortable with talking about it, so don't bring it up yourself. However, if it happens again, you might want to say something then. It sounds like said girl's had some problems, and maybe that's why she's been so rude to you, without even realizing it. She probably needs therapy!
However, this sounds a lot like something out of a book or a movie, so I'm wondering if you're faking us out.
2007-03-28 06:56:18 · answer #4 · answered by sanjacgoddess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't read all that answers, b/c most of them were long and I'm lazy right now....
But first I'd ask you how you ended up living together if you hated each other.
Onto your question though, I'd wait to see if it happens again and then tell her the next day when she's more awake that if she ever needed someone to talk to that you are there IF she wants to talk. Just don't judge her on anything. I don't think you should bring it up now, since it's been a little while.
2007-04-04 17:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by Sugar Booger 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi, i just read what you have written and i don't think that this is fake, because when a person goes through something as what that girl was going through, it only happens because something nasty must have happened in the past that is still affecting her mentally.
Personally i don't think you should ask her anything now because she obviously hasn't trusted you as a mate due to your previous arguements and so on. just let her realise that everything that has happened between you guys before is forgiven and forgotten, start fresh and become mates. In time im sure she will be able to trust you as a mate and for that to happen, you need to make sure u show her that you are a nice person, u do care for her and you can also be a good friend. In time hopefully you will realise yourself if its okay to ask her about her past or not. i hope she is okay now and i hope that it all works out for you.
2007-03-28 07:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should just wait to see if she brings it up in convo. in the mean time i think that you should try to become more of a friend to her. and try to open up to her, then maybe she will in time open up to you, i used to have class with this one girl in school, we have 4 classes in a row together and sat right next to me. she made fun of me and try to pick on me and everything. and a few times had actually attacked me. then one day she came to class crying. at first i was thinking to my self if i should ask her what happened, and i ended up asking her and she at first told me to go to hell. but when i looked ointo her eyes i could tell that she didn't really mean it and was just scared to open up, so i told her that i will not pry on her privacy but if she ever needed an ear that i was there and that she could trust me with anything no matter how big or small that i would do anything to help her. she said yea right, why should i believe you. and i said. because unlike most of the people in this school i do care about some people, and i swear to you on the flag that covered my grandfathers coffin that she could trust me. but i will not pry. not even a week went by and she told me all of this stuff, i gave her my advice, and she is now a good friend of mine. moral of the story is that no matter how bad she treats you. just try to be her friend not matter how hard it is. be a nice person. this is all very true by the way.
2007-03-29 19:21:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it has to be driving you crazy to know what happened to her. If you decide you have to talk to her you might want to just ask "Would you like to talk about what happened last night?" Probably the longer you wait the less likely she will be to open up about her situation. If she says no then drop it. One piece of advice though...when someone is having a violent dream it's not a good idea to wake them.
It's not uncommon for someone who is upset and crying to feel very hot. I have children and this has happened to them when they are crying.
2007-03-28 07:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by ☼♫Hmm..Interesting♪☼ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are worried about upsetting her with a confrontation why don't you try writing her a letter. She may not even remember but if you just come out with it to her face she could become embarrassed and defensive. If you write a letter explaining what happened, how you felt and that nothing more will be said about it unless she brings it up, then you have made her aware of your knowledge but have left it up to her to come to you. I used to have nightmares regarding life experiences and it used to really upset people around me. It might take her a while or a few drinks to talk about it but I'm sure that she may appreciate being able to share with you at some point. Just be patient with her. She may never bring it up but that is, ultimately, her choice. Good luck!
2007-03-28 07:23:40 · answer #9 · answered by supated 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If this is real you should have taken her to the emergency hospital. Someone who is burning up with fever and talking irrationally is in a medical crisis. "Should have walked away" indeed. You should have gotten her to a doctor. You should still insist that she seek medical care even though the immediate crisis is past. There's a lot more at stake here than her heart pounding hard against your chest. If, in fact, this is a true story.
2007-03-28 07:09:58 · answer #10 · answered by Lleh 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋