How do you deal with negative people who can't stop complaining, don't need solution and only want to nag? Thx

Question

I have a friend who can't see anything but negatives. Complains about everything and solve nothing so far. When you offer solutions especially to reflect on what he's done, he doesn't like it. He loves to indulge on his misery and pulls others in it too.

A few of his friends are already ignoring him. He thinks they have something wrong and never once he reflects on himself. He keeps blaming everything but himself. Ignoring only drives him to desperation so far. He even demands people to listen and to ask him how he's doing when no one actually bothers anymore. What should we do?

Answer 1

This is how my grandmother is and, short of therapy, there is really nothing you can do! You've tried pointing out his behavior but he refuses to do anything about it. He just has an investment in being mad at the world.

If he says, "My mom ruined my life. That bitc# just wants me to be unhappy," and you reply that it's not true, he'll just get angrier because he'll feel like you don't understand. You could always say, "It must feel awful to think your mom doesn't care about you" before you point out the nice things she's done for him. This is called validating the person's feelings first.

In all honesty, though, someone this negative is usually so wrapped up in their negative perceptions of things that their mind is not open to any other interpretations. You may have to leave him as a friend in order for him to get the hint!

Answer 2

He is sucking you in and relieving the stress off of himself. He's dumping on you!!! The only way to stop it is to stay away from him. Or, tell him that you aren't going to listen to him complain about XYZ again because it's obvious he doesn't want a solution.

Answer 3

Tell him to either take good advice and make changes to his situation or shut up about them and keep it to himself.

Answer 4

i no someone like that it does my head in. No matter what it is its always bad