(I'm male) When I hold my four-month old baby, I feel nothing, What wrong with me?

Question

the kid is 100% mine, I just can't feel any kind of bond what so ever.

Answer 1

You're a guy. Women and men are very different when it comes to children. Almost all women feel an emotional bond with their child immediately (makes sense -- she carried the child around for nine months). Guys usually take more time to develop that bond with their children. There are exceptions to that rule of course, but don't kick yourself. Give it some time. If the baby hits one year and you still don't feel anything, then it's time to talk to a psychiatrist.

Answer 2

Some people just do not relate to babies or very small infants. I hated to tell people that I wanted ( and did) go back to work full time when my daughter was 3 weeks old. I just didn't "get anything" from holding her like i thought I was supposed to. Part of it was absolute exhaustion - but part was the fact that there is no way to communicate or relate to a very small infant. As she grew older and started to walk and talk etc. - we developed a very close bond. I would give it some time. If after a few more months you feel this way - I would see a counselor. Just continue to interact with your child positively and the bond will develop eventually. Too many people think having babies is like in the movies or a TV show where everyone falls into immediate love with this cooing bundle of joy. That is not real life.

Answer 3

There may be nothing wrong with you. It may just take some additional time to feel that bond. Babies are not that interesting at 4 months, they are still in that poop, pee, sleep, eat stage. In a few more months he/she will start to develop a personality and you may find it easier to feel and establish that bond. A lot of the bonding process occurs through day to day contact with the baby which is why the mother usually feels a stronger bond than the father. Here are some articles on ways you can bond with your child and one on reasons that prevent fathers from bonding with a newborn. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with you. Males are not wired to have an instant bond with news borns like females are. Your affection and attention are for the mother, and this is the way it should be, since males are the providers. In time as the child grows you will become more attached. Remember this. If there is a boat on the water, man, woman and a child and it sinks the man will attempt to save the woman and the woman will go for the child. This is the way nature has set things up. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Don't feel terrible about yourself because of this. Women tend to bond immediately but it's not really immediate - they've carried this little person for months and months and they've been through a lot together by the time the child is born.

For you, this is a new person in your life. Men tend to bond with their kids when they get older and can play together, talk, etc. It can be hard to bond with someone who can't communicate with you at all - even if this is your own child.

People bond with their children at different times. And honestly, I hear this even from mom's when they adopt. It's scary, but the truth is that bonding takes time.

If this is bothering you, however, you might speak with other fathers about their experiences or go speak with a counselor.

Answer 6

besides the shown fact that a number of human beings (who've by no skill been raped) say that's okay to have an abortion if a sprint one comes approximately from a rape. My own thoughts are not any they'd not have an abortion and for many motives: the 1st and maximum severe reason is via the fact this is going to do her extra harm than stable. In analyze maximum women persons stored the infant because of the fact they felt in the event that they'd have the infant it may be like taking back the ability that they had lost. additionally they felt that for the reason that that they were violated in a violent way, they didn't wish to do a similar to a diverse individual. In different analyze the place women persons did have abortions, felt very to blame, some reported they have been style of compelled into doing it because of the fact they have been informed it may be terrific for them. in the tip it made each and every thing worse. ultimately, i don't think of any toddler would desire to be killed for any reason, besides the shown fact that some will possibly not agree, in the tip a toddler is a modern-day from God, and besides the shown fact that it would desire to not have began out nicely, He gave the ladies persons a clean start up with the toddler. ok i'm getting of my cleansing soap container now.

Answer 7

It sometimes takes longer for the father to bond with the child. It's a new experience. The mother has carried this life for 9mths. Give yourself time and just try your hardest to remember to love and care for this helpless innocent baby of yours. You made this amazing life. Be the best daddy you can. Congratulations Dad You are now part of the Elite group known as DAD. You are now more special then you've ever been.

Answer 8

Maybe it has not hit you yet. or you may not be ready to be a father. but in time you will start to bond with your new baby. it could be a mental block if you know what I mean. try spending more time with your baby. sometime we all go through a phrase when it comes to being a parent. keep your head up and pray, it will come in time.

Answer 9

give it time, bathe him, change him, feed him. Who says fahterly instinct has to kick in instantly?
Are you possitive you feel nothing? What if a person threatened to harm him? Would you still say that? Come on, just take it easy and share time with him.

Answer 10

Go to counseling. Maybe you have been socialized to not show emotion? Depressed?