If you are interested in someone and find out they are married, do you back off or pursue them anyway?

Question

some chic on my space is trying to pick up my husband and she knows he is married. I found out because we are honest with each other and are very happily married. We would never even consider it. Would you?

I really appreciate all of your answers.

Answer 1

I would be out of that situation so fast... but then I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I've never understood the mindset of the 'other woman' (or 'other man'). What are they after? A relationship with someone who's not just already taken, but if the married person actually engages in an affair they are demonstrating how little character and loyalty, and little they value the concept of love.

Seems like a doomed proposition all the way around. Not to mention that affairs hurt everyone involved, and if the married person cheats on their spouse, they're eventually going to do the same to the person their cheating with.

Morality aside, who wants to be involved in that sort of self-destructive drama?

Morality not aside, who doesn't realize that this sort of thing is harmful and hurts people (including themselves).

I don't have a clue why anyone would willingly engage in an affair with a married person.

Kudos to your husband, sounds like a good guy. Cursed with good looks, this kind of thing will happen. Blessed with strong character and a good wife though, he's just demonstrated he's a real man.

Answer 2

if i find out a person of interest is married the respectable thing to do would be back off, for 2 reasons
1. If the married person does go forward with a relationship with me, then does that person really have the morals and values I want in a soul mate?
2. I don't want to be a homewrecker

Answer 3

I would back off quicker than a lightening strike, if I found out someone I was pursuing was married. Some woman find that appealing though. They must think that since another woman thought he was worthy of marriage he must be a good catch, and it would be an ego boost for them to be able to lure him away. Some woman are such hoes. Be glad you do have a good man that discusses these things with you. Good for you and him.☼

Answer 4

It all depends on the person you ask.

If you ask me, I don’t like to do this things. I lived though two experiences like this one already, with me being on each side, and not because I wanted, and let me tell you, is not nice, nor it is healthy for your own self.

But there is people out there that will still go after married people even when knowing they are married.

If that chic wants your husband, then she is one of those, and you have some options:

The obvious option is to stop talking to her (your husband) and be over with it. He was honest, and told you, so now you just tell him that he should stop talking to her unless he thinks there is a good reason to do so and to explain it to you.

Other options, are deeper and involved many problems. One is that you could be one of those people who like revenge, so you are not going to stay there and do nothing. Maybe you can talk to her directly and put her where she belongs, or maybe you and your husband want to do something worse, and let it keep on going, and then when she less expect it, bust her, and ruin her life (at least, her “romantic” life) as your husband could promise her many things, and then drop it all. This is very bad, but some people actually do it.

And you also have another option, which is the opposite, and that is when you are open minded and don’t care to “share”. So you let him play around with her. Or maybe you like to have threesomes so you guys invite her in. This is of course for really open minded people as in most cases will end in trouble.

And if you ask me, I would just ask him to stop talking to her, and not just avoid her, but to put a stop to it and let her know it is not going to work and that she must stop trying to get him. I would also talk to her and let her know that you r husband’s love is yours, he is not to change his mind, and to back off and leave you guys alone.

If she insists, then take other measures, from revenge to simple actions like go to the police and let them handle it with some restraining orders, etc, etc.

Good luck.

PS. Tell your husband to stop searching around and flirting around on my space or wherever else he might be. That is not nice.

Answer 5

Women who pursue married guys, whether the man is happily married or not, have no honor and no integrity. If there is a breed of female I completely despise, it is the man stealer. I love being female and would never consider stealing a loved one away from another female soul.

Answer 6

If I were single (I'm not) and interested in a married person, I would run for the hills so fast I'd leave people in my dust. You never mess with someone who is married, even if they say their marriage is in the dumps. You wait until they are free, then pursue away to your hearts content.

I would never consider cheating on my hubby either.

Answer 7

If it were me i would back off and look for someone who was single and available to get to know and date. I would never even consider it. He needs to tell her to back off of him and that he is happily married and tell her to get a life. You need to tell her this as well. Good luck to the both of you. If she does not stop then block her user name so she cannot contact him anymore.

Answer 8

I would back off. There is no way I would want to be involved with a married man. It's just wrong on so many different levels.

Answer 9

I got divorced on 9/11, met this girl on 9/21 and 6 days later she got married to her boyfriend. 7 days after they were married they seperated and she moved in with me temporarily, now its been 6 months since we met, we have just now started to date and have never had sex, oh by the way, she is now divorced and we do not live together.

How is that for an answer?

Answer 10

No, but there are a lot of women who would. If someone tried to do that with my husband, I trust he would say no but I don't trust he would tell me about it. A lot of women like men, don't have self control when it comes to the opposite sex. You fool yourself into believing all sorts of crazy things. If a woman really likes a guy, she will on occasion stop at nothing to at least get him into bed. Then she feels special, like she has conquered him. Chicks are weird.