Then a few months later he tells me he doesn't love me. And I find out he is talking to her online all the time. We struggle for a couple of months and go to counseling not sure if we are going to stay married. He says it is all my fault because I spent all of our money and we are in financial debt because of me and that is why he doesn't love me, and that him not loving me anymore has nothing to do with this woman--she is just someone to talk to about all the issues we are having. In the end he decides that he wants to stay married to me, and we work it out with some counseling. Things are good now- but the thing that bugs me is that I consider what he did an affair. He does not consider it an affair because there was no sex. He is sorry he told me he didn't love me, but he never will admit that what he did was an affair, an never said he is sorry for it, and says he was mad at me for spending our money and that it was my fault. Would you consider this an affair?
2007-03-28 06:02:12 · 14 answers · asked by Audrey C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, he could be in love with trhat other woman
2007-03-28 06:07:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't be all that bothered by it or consider it an affair, in the end he did decide to give your marriage another try. Talking to this women probably gave him an insight of what women are all about. If he was at all interested in her, he would have never have made the decision to come back to you.
I guess he could have talked to other men but it is probably not the way to go since most are at a loss as to what women want. I would be somewhat thankful that chatting with this women did more good than harm. Good luck.
2007-03-28 13:20:17 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope! Not an affair. Everyone needs that someone to talk to. Guys can no talk to guys about feelings, some can some cant. Still just because it was a woman that he talked to and opened up to, you should be glad, she probably gave some good advice that saved your marriage rather then ending it.
2007-03-28 13:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by biggdaddy1669 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was talking to a man at work all the time and felt so secure he was listening to me. I really needed his opinion badly and it turned into a regular habit. This includes online e-mails. This man is the same age as my oldest daughter and believe me we never had an affair.
I believe your husband may be in pain. Now is the time to solve your problems so that he doesn't need to seek out anyone elses help at all!
2007-03-28 13:10:41 · answer #4 · answered by ♫ Melody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men consider an affair to mean sex. Most women, on the other hand, consider an affair to mean any emotional relationship.
Your husband needs to own what he did and understand your feelings -- though they are different from his own. Counseling might help. If he won't go with you, go on your own.
2007-03-28 13:09:59 · answer #5 · answered by retropink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he did not have an affair with her but he had a confidante. I understand how this bothers you because you feel she is armed to judge you.
However, since you decided to stay married, your husband needs to respect your wishes for him to stop his "friendship" with this person otherwise you would be in counselling for this issue next.
2007-03-28 13:09:29 · answer #6 · answered by Georgina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really a REAL affair, more like he made a friend. Maybe an emotional affair, but even that is pushing it. I think that if he is willing to work on things, then you should let it be the past. Move forward with your life.
2007-03-28 13:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When a person is talking to an outsider about personal issues, then I'd say the communication between you two has broken down to arguing, screaming, and blaming.
He's with you now and willing to make your marriage work. He DID NOT commit adultery. He just needed someone to console him, someone he could talk to, and nothing more.
If you're trying to make more of this than what it really was, you are going to drive him away. Tuck your tail between your legs, accept his apology, and make your relationship work.
2007-03-28 13:11:00 · answer #8 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most people consider this an emotional affair, which hurts just as deeply. He shared intimate details and feelings with another woman that he should have been sharing with you. In my opinion, it's just as wrong.
2007-03-28 13:09:24 · answer #9 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've just worked out all these issues. Now you want to bi---ch about this. Are you looking for a reason?
2007-03-28 13:09:51 · answer #10 · answered by Stitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋