I don't like feeling this way. I really want to work things out but I can't help feeling like the only way to deal with it is to leave.
2007-03-28 06:00:38 · 29 answers · asked by sugarplum 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes leaving is the answer. But if EVERY SINGLE time you two argue and you feel like leaving, maybe this is just how you were tought to deal with stress... leave. My husband is similar. We dont fight that often but when we do, it seems that his first reaction is to end it, because he is "sick of it." I've learned that he just gets stressed and doesnt really mean it, but doesnt know any other way of dealing with his stress.
Also, just one more thing... Always remember that NOTHING worth having is ever easy.
2007-03-28 06:05:01 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships take a lot of work. If you aren't willing to invest a life time then stop stringing him along and leave. But if when things are good or bad and you can remember the reason you fell in love, then I don't believe you really want a divorce. Also, I'm a firm believer that divorce is an easy way out rather than communication. People give up too easy, and it's a shame that people arent mature enough to see that.
2007-03-28 13:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To every problem, an instant solution is not always the 'right' solution. With that said, sometimes it is just that obvious. To each person, a different solution may be best.
I found myself in your position a few years ago. After a few years of marriage, the small differences turned into problems; problems into arguments; arguments into month-long fights. Until finally all I saw was divorce as not just an option, but the ONLY solution. Yes we loved and cared for eachother, but it wasn't solving what was happening. We separated for a few months, she saw a therapist (she did have a few issues), we 'dated' a few times, we moved back together, a surprise pregnancy after a night of margaritas, more trouble brewed with the stress of childbirth, another separation (this time 8 months) and when serious discussion of divorce began to take shape... a dose of reality hit us both.
A few days ago marks 10 years together. It isn't perfect, but what is.
So ask yourself, "WHY?" do you feel so...
2007-03-28 13:37:35 · answer #3 · answered by Ryno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you feel this way because you argue about an issue that hasn't been taken care of. It seems nowdays that thinking of it is the norm....it isn't....think of win-win solutions isntead of taking the easy way out. The easy way out can be deceptive...and can even compound the pain you are feeling right now.
99% of the time, arguements flare up because one isn't listening to the other's needs or one is just not comfortable
talking abou tthe issue so they use something else to pick a fight.
You are frustrated....and that's ok...perhaps instead of thinking on leaving, you should focus on how to help make your marriage an environment where he can open up and talk about things that are bugging him.....the same goes for him...
he should also strive for the same.
Sit him down and ask to go to a couples therapist...they can help you strategize communication such that he or you don't take things personal....
It'll be ok...just needs a bit of elbow grease...
2007-03-28 13:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by tito_swave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel because I am going through the same exact thing- only i'm not married, but we have a child- so you feel like there is something there to salvage- but you and I both know that there isn't. We fight ALL the time and everytime we do, all I want to do is leave. If you don't see it working out, get out. Things will only get worse over time, and you don't deserve to live your life unhappily and neither does he. Tell him how you feel and see what he has to say.
2007-03-28 13:16:08 · answer #5 · answered by tlimsisnw7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you argue a lot? If so then the relationship isn't working out try talking about your problems when either of you are mad or upset. Counseling would also help, there are places to get counseling based on your income. If you argue a lot then one or both of you aren't happy. If you think about divorce it might be your sick of trying to work things out. If you don't fight a lot and still have thoughts of leaving your being immature, every marriage has its problems a good one works them out.
2007-03-28 13:08:18 · answer #6 · answered by letthepartybeginnow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arguments only heighten personal stress and that's why many people after an argument feel like they need to get away from the person just to cool down or think things through. Don't let them get to you and work through the problems thinking it's only a temporary setback.
2007-03-28 13:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by jonathan beechwood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then don't. Look at your ring. Remember your vows. Get in your mind that it's not an option. Over time if you do these things your feeling will pass. It's normal to disagree and argue. It's called getting along w/ a person that is not only a different sex but probably alot different and someone that sees thing differently than you. Stick w/ it, it gets better as time goes on.
2007-03-28 13:05:54 · answer #8 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some people, that is the first thing that pops into their mind, and for others they never think about it. Perhaps suggest a trial separation next time to see if it is what you really want, but beware...you will hurt him badly and you may not be able to come back.
Good Luck
2007-03-28 13:56:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just may need a break. Alittle sabaticle or something to think things through. Divorce is a very empty feeling, but sometimes necessary in order to move on. But it seems communacation is what you need from him. Best Wishes
2007-03-28 13:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by John K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋