Relationship problem...?

Question

What should I do? At the moment in my relationship I am frustrated, and stressed. I have two kids and another on the way. At the beginning I was happy with my girlfriend. I tell you I have never cheated on her I was always honest. I am just unhappy. I do everything around the house, I do the cleaning, laundry, most the time cooking, I pick up after the kids, I go to school and work. I come home tired, what do most men expect? A clean home, everything picked up, dishes clean, dinner and what not. I understand that we are expecting another one, I love my kids so much. She lacks the trust. For an example: My parents come into town and I want to take the kids over to visit but she wont allow me or she'd make up some kind of an excuse like were going to be going out. My parents don't stay for extended periods of time because they know how she is. My girlfriend does not like my family at all. Our relationship, we've been through alot of verbal abuse.

At the same time I want to leave, I don't get much freedom but I go to be a man and stay and support my kids. She complains that she doesn't get much freedom either, I always offer to take the kids over to my parents but she always denies it. We have talked it over and over but it never gets resolved.

Answer 1

it is real easy to slip gradually into unhealthy relationship patterns over time, and while i think maybe your girl has some issues..i also feel that over time you have given her too much control over the relationship to the point that it has become way too one sided. this obviously needs to change, but if you try to change everything all at once you will probably send your girl into a death spiral. try and pick a couple of the things that bother you the most and try to approach her in a non confrontational way to come up with a compromise. let her know that you love her very much, but that you are not happy with the way things are and that they need to change. you also want to balance this with some positive changes..you stated that you work and go to school..these are two big parts of your life that she's not a part of. she may be feeling very disconected from you..i went through this when my wife went through medic school..spend time away from the kids with her and let her see that she is still very important to you and the biggest part of your life.

a little light house work will not hurt her...and is actually good for pregnant women. there is no reason why she can't do the dishes and at least fold and put the laundry away, as well as straighten up parts of the house that don't require alot of excessive bending. my job at home is to take the laundry to the basement and sort it...we both wash and dry it..then she folds it and puts it away. as far as dinner there is no reason she can't cook dinner, but it might be nice if dinner became somthing you did together a couple times a week...my wife and i enjoy cooking together and it has become less of a chore for both of us.

as far as the children..quit asking to spend time with your children and thier grandparents...thier your children to and it's your right...if you want to take them somewhere(and she doesn't want to go) then take them..just try and do it in a non confrontational way, just simply tell her that you want to take the kids to see your parents and that if she doesn't want to go that you'll see her when you get back...as far as her excuses if it ain't life or death then it can wait...grand parent relationships are more important than grocery shopping or paying a bill. just remember that honest respectfull comunication is the most important thing in a relationship next to love.

Answer 2

Dude, you're in trouble! Somebody is playing you, using and abusing you. You're too good and generous and your partner there is manipulating and exploiting you. Apparently there is no give and take, no win/win. You lose and chances are it's only going to get worse unless you put a stop to this now. The most likely thing is that you're going to end up going separate ways any how, because no-one can stand that situation forever. She sounds like the kind of person that can't even carry on a conversation without lashing out, so I doubt if counseling would help. You need to stop, back up and take a good look at the scene. Try talking it out, but be prepared for anything. I wish you the best. I'm very sorry for the kids. They're not getting the right modeling to grow up in.

Answer 3

Sorry about that babe, you sound like a good man. I wouldn't advise you to just break up with her, but I do see your point. I can understand why you want to leave, but believe me sweetheart their are people going through much worse. I believe she maybe feeling the same as you also, stressed, I think you both need a break. Away from the kids, no arguing, just talk about things. Talk about your concerns, and issues without arguing. Its not as big as it seems, the attitude towards the parents, it could be because she overprotective of the kids. (Not sure) But you two need to talk about that aswell. I do believe she should do more house work around the house, and its good that you are helping her being that she is pregnant and all. :o) She is only acting like that because she is the house all the time, its stressful. You both are just stressed, that's all.

"No more kids either"...

Answer 4

3 kids and happy with her? then why haven't you married her? If you were happy with her youd want to spend the rest of your life with her. ALTHOUGH she sounds as if she has some issues. Is your name on the childrens birth certs. ? If so you might consider taking the children and leaving her. If she doesnt do dishes, cook, or clean shes either lazy or depressed. If youre verbaling abusing her shes probably depressed and you dont need to take the kids when you leave. If shes the one doing the vedal abuse then the kids and you dont need or deserve that. People dont like a lot of things but we do them anyway. How sad your parents cant come to visit their son and grandchildren without the spoiled brat act. Once you have children you dont get free time to run around its called parenting get use to it, both of you need to grow up youve got 3 kids for heavens sakes. YOU NEED TO DO WHATS BEST FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND YOU!

Answer 5

I think you two need to have a serious talk. I gongraulate you on been a man. Because there are not to many man out there that good like yourself.