I am a new step mom and need help.?

Question

I have just become a new step mom to 5 kids and am having a really hard time with it. I have no children of my own and have only babysat my families kids. Now I have 5 kids at my house all the time and 2 of them have a disorder. I love them so much but am scared of making a mistake in raising them. My husband (their dad) is wonderful with them but works weird hours and is not always here. I am trying my best to be a good step mom but feel like I need help. Please if anyone has any suggestions for me let me know..

Answer 1

How long have you known these kids? Do you really love them or do you love kids in general? To be truthful, I only love my kids, both of which are diagnosed with disorders. My 14 yr old son is ADD with anxiety and is in middle school with an aid and an Ed plan. My 12 yr old girl is PDD and in a special school for special people.

PLUS... I am a step-father of two, one who lives with us but is off at college and the other who now lives with his dad.
I became a step-father 15 years ago and it has been a struggle all this time. To make a long story short, my wife kept me from disciplining her daughter and that created a problem that never went away. I've grown bitter as I've been forced to observe as the daughter manipulated her mom to get her way. Meanwhile my wife never stood between her son and I and with that power to discipline and manage affairs came also compassion and understanding and we get along fine when he visits. There must be no division if the household is to be a healthy one.

5 step kids... WOW! You have got to be yourself and not worry about making mistakes. When you are the only parent at home it has got to be your way. You must solicit your husband's support and advice and establish a common system of governing the masses. Then, as with any family, the kids will know what they can get away with when it's dad and when it's just mom . good luck and may God bless.

Answer 2

There's no manual, we all make mistakes. The biggest thing you can do is love them.

You might want to research the disorders so you understand them better, talk to your husband so that he knows your concerns and you are on the same page about what is best for the children.

We all felt like when needed help when our first ones were born, I can't imagine what it would be like to suddenly have 5. Love is most definnitely the answer, tho.

Good luck
Rowena

Answer 3

I was lucky, by the time I became a step parent I was already a parent myself, I would suggest you try to think back to when you were a child and how you were raised and treated, take the good from that and use it. I'd also consider parenting classes, most cities and towns offer them, you might want to check with your local hospitals or health dept. for info. on them.
Good Luck and I'm sure you'll do fine.

Answer 4

Just remember, you are in charge, not them, be firm, but fair. You aren't their "best friend" you are their parent. They will get mad at you from time to time, and lash out, probably followed by comments like "you aren't my mom". Just do everything you do with love, and their best interests/future in mind, and you won't go wrong. Parenting is a learning process, you have a bit of catchup to do, but it will fall into place.

Answer 5

ACTUALLY IF THE LOVE IS THERE FOR THE CHILDREN FROM YOU ...THEN ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REACH DOWN IN YOUR HEART TO FIND THE ANSWERS..... GO WITH YOUR GUT INSTINCT ON DECISION MAKING AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THESE ARE KIDS WE ARE TALKING ABOUT, THEY ARE SMART AND CAN PICK UP VIBES (GOOD OR BAD) REALLY QUICK SO STRAIGHTEN UP YOUR ACT AND DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT....... OR YOU MIGHT START TO MAKE THOSE CHILDREN QUESTION YOUR ABILITIES....ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF ACHEIVING AND OBVIOUSLY YOU TOOK ON THIS RESPONSIBILITY FOR A REASON.........BECAUSE YOU BELEIVE.........SO GO FOR IT AND GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!

Answer 6

Don't worry about it. You will start to get to know the kids better and everything will fall into place. Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 7

fd

Answer 8

haha