My brother had an affair with a married girlfriend of mine. I found out towards the end of their affair (as did my immediate family). He has a new girlfriend and my friend is still with her husband. We are having a bbq for friends and family and my brother has requested I not invite my friend because her presence makes him and his girlfriend uncomfortable. I enjoy her (and her familys) company. The last time they (my brother and my friend) were both at an event, they barely spoke, but there was no friction. What you would do?
2007-03-28 05:27:22 · 14 answers · asked by Jen-Jen 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This bbq will be at my home.
2007-03-28 05:27:36 · update #1
Don't invite your friend just because of sheer respect for your brother and his new girlfriend, that could become part of your family. So really, just don't invite her. Family first... even though what they did was wrong...
2007-03-28 05:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with 'curious'. Why should you have to be the one who struggles with all these moral dilemmas that other people get themselves into. I'm wondering why and how you found out about the affair in the first place. People who fool around should at least show a little discretion and trap family and friends in their messy webs. If these two hadn't had an affair wouldn't you be inviting them to this bbq? That's the stance I would take. Sometimes good manners requires playing like you are ignorant to a situation. Just be gracious and pleasant as if you didn't know a thing and let the 'offending' parties decide for themselves whether they will attend or not.
2007-03-28 12:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by stevieray 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it going to be a large party? Could you have tables set up in various places around the yard?
If there is going to be enough people around so they could avoid each other without being obvious, invite them,,and leave it up to your brother whether or not to come.
P.S. Is the girlfriend a close friend? or just a friend,,that should also enter into your decision.
2007-03-28 12:38:14 · answer #3 · answered by Boopsie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its your party and your brother made the decision to sleep with a married woman. He made his bed and now he lays in it. Its not fair to expect you to call off relationships with your friend because he can't keep his pecker in his pants. Thats his problem not yours. Who knows maybe by inviting your friend and her family her husband will be lucky enough to find out what a loser his wife is.... I say invite her and make him wear a shirt that says I slept with your wife... enjoy your BBQ
2007-03-28 12:39:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tamra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your bbq so it should be your decision. You could let them both know that you are inviting the other party and leave it up to them whether they attend.
2007-03-28 12:32:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think as long....as ur friend dosent....feel bad with being knowing that your family will be there and judging her...then there shoulnt be a problem..and your brother will be fine....as by the look of it all you really want your friend there so why not as long as all you guys can handle it...as adults no problem....Nothing is ever perfect so...why not.......as long as everybody behaves themselves.......i hope u have a great bbq good luck....
2007-03-28 12:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one event. I would want my brother to have a good time. Even though he did the deed, I wouldn't want my BBQ to be be weird and tense.
2007-03-28 12:35:38 · answer #7 · answered by .:Adrians' So Handsome:. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your party. Invite who you want. If your brother is uncomfortable, well, that's his own dumb fault. I also don't have much sympathy for the girlfriend who would date someone who would date a married woman.
2007-03-28 12:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should invite both of them. Your brother and friend are both adults and decided to have a fling...they have to live with consequences that may follow. Why should your relationship with both of them be altered because of a decision they made? If you enjoy both of their company, invite them both. That's my opinion.
2007-03-28 12:31:28 · answer #9 · answered by curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should invite her, your brother made a mistake now he has to live with it. Too bad for him, its your BBQ.
2007-03-28 13:00:07 · answer #10 · answered by jessie1985 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋