I have been friends with a guy for 4 years. We have always had a sexual relationship and about a year ago he admitted that he loved me. We made it "official" but we broke up soon after because he said he just didn't want a girlfriend. We are still friends to this day, still sleep together, but now we argue, A LOT. I want to be in a relationship, he doesn't. He comes to my house at least 4 times a week, calls at least 3 times a day and generally ACTS like my boyfriend. He said he would never kiss me again but he kissed me tonight. He says we will never sleep together again but we still do. What the heck!?!
2007-03-28 05:26:11 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
In response to some of the answers I've gotten so far; I thought he was using me too but the fact remains that he hasn't even DATED anyone else in over 2 years. We don't JUST have sex whenever he come's over; sometimes he just comes over to hang out or take me to dinner and a movie or just to talk. When I'm broke, he breaks his neck to come over and give me something to get by on. He helps me with my college classes and even encouraged me to go back to school in the first place. Nothing about this guys actions outside of the bedroom leads me to believe that he's using me. I had never had a more faithful man in my life and he talks to me with respect, even when we argue about our relationship. So what gives?
2007-03-28 05:49:36 · update #1
Okay take this from a man. Men a lot a times say things that they don't really mean ask him what's wrong.
2007-03-28 05:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know honestly Iris you guys should just keep it as FRIENDS, because it sounds to me like you guys had a good thing going. But it sounds to me like he was liking the whole "friendship" when there was sex but NO strings attached. And when he said he "loved" you he probably meant it in a different way- loves you but not in love w/ you. You guys already tried to make this happen as a couple and it didn't work out- ok so move on! You have to make a choice either you put up w/ his sh#t and keek going at it, but keep it cool with him and don't mention anything about wanting to be in a relationship or just tell him "NO more sex!" and just be friends. If I were you I'd just keep it as friends and start dating other guys. He's stringing you along and the only person here who's getting their feelings hurt is YOU. You know as women we get more emotionally attached and don't try to kid yourself you know it hurts and it's affecting you. He's using you-plain and simple, don't lie to yourself and think that he really wants to be with you, he probably does care about you but being with ONE person must have scarred him off and he later realized that's not what he wanted, that's why u guys started arguing, he just wanted OUT.
In the long run do you really want to be with someone where most of the time you guys r going 2 b bickering and fighting. It's not worth your time, move on.
2007-03-28 06:31:30 · answer #2 · answered by spring 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look firstly, you crazy for having casual sex with your friend. That's not a friend, it's a cutt buddy, so stop using the term "friend". You`re both using each other for sex, and should stop. Especially if you're trying to have a meaningful relationship with this dude. It's not going to happen. Ya'll sound like ya'll need some space. Distance each other from this physical relationship. That will probably do you a world of good.
2007-03-28 05:38:02 · answer #3 · answered by Chanello 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a loser and a jerk who is using you and pretending he cares about u. he's only ur boyfriend if u can tell ur friends that he's ur boyfriend and, truthfully, any guy who cares and loves the girl he's sleeping with and stuff is going to be telling his friends and stuff...he's not a friend even!!!
it doesn't matter whether he actually loves u and is just "scared of being taken" but the fact remains that if he is going to go around sleeping with u and ****, he isn't mature enough to be ur boyfriend...
it might be hard to break off with him since u love him (i'd guess) so i suggest speaking with ur friends about this situation because any smart friend who cares about u will probably give u the same response as us on yahoo answers...
it might be difficult to take the truth, but i'm sure that you know the truth deep down...
it's scary to think that u r being used and ****, but it happens to many people...
especially if u plan on getting married, this guy is NOT marriage material
well
take care
shao:S
2007-03-28 05:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, seems like he's in delial. Well, justtell him what's up and see what his respons is. This idea has a 50 50 chance to backfire so only use it in an emergency. Tell him you don't want to see him again and don't pick up the phone when he calls and don't let him in when he comes over. And see what happens. But only if you feel this is an emergency. If he loves you you'll see a change. If not....well, he's hopeless.
2007-03-28 05:32:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sukasa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! He is using you honey. Him saying he doesn't want a relationship is a good clue that he isn't wanting to commit to you. Stop sleeping with him because since you are friends he thinks you will always be there. Show him that you're not his sex partner and if he isn't down to commit then you're not for him. Good Luck!!
2007-03-28 05:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by Tay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using you for sex. Why do you let him. Tell him to get lost he doesn't care about you enough to want to be your boyfriend. Unless you don't mind being the wham bam thank you mam. Hey sometimes that can be fun!! However, It sound like you deserve a lot better. Get rid of him. you'll feel much better.
2007-03-28 05:38:15 · answer #7 · answered by sc17carter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you guys need some time apart!! Quit sleeping with him and if he wants to be your friend, then be just that. No More!!!
2007-03-28 05:42:57 · answer #8 · answered by Ash Kat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop that fool like a drug ...he's using you can't you see that? find someone when you are ready that is man enough to take on the whole package ...not some half azzed jerk like the guy you have to question if he is your boyfriend. if you have to question it, the answer is no, hon.
2007-03-28 05:30:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're only cheating yourself honey. Either he knows what he wants or he doesn't but I wouldn't want to be with a confused man.
2007-03-28 05:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by Khalil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋