2007-03-28 05:22:53 · 11 answers · asked by bennie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It should be the task / duty of the man you are dating
to protect & insulate you from his mother..
If he is a momma's boy and under her control then
you need to break up with him and move on..
2007-03-28 05:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be bitchy too if I had not only an adult son living at home mooching off me but his girlfriend too, what's next? Kids of your own?
If you think she is bitchy and over bearing then move out and get a place of your own. Tell your guy he can either join you or stay put and you will be moving on and finding someone without momma drama.
2007-03-28 12:43:56 · answer #2 · answered by kauai_lvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just answered a similar question here earlier, and i have experience in this situation as well.
first of all, most people who are bitchy and overbearing are control freaks and usually somewhat toxic. they thrive on a crisis and causing commotion.
the best thing to do is never react to her little circus... if she tries to create problems or make waves, just change the subject and/or totally ignore her.
Responding or reacting is what she wants, and it only adds fuel to her fire.
I hope you and the boyfriend don't live in her home... if you do, you need to make other living arrangements... you didn't mention whether you do or not, but if so, this only gives her more of a sense of control over your lives.
If you ignore her, talk about something else, or simply leave the room, she will eventually stop....
In doing so, you are protecting yourself, and silently letting her know you aren't interested in involving yourself in her dramatic world.
take care of YOU!
2007-03-28 12:41:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide what boundaries you want and what level you are willing to put up with before you can move forward. Do you love him enough to put up with her? Do you want a relationship with her? What about the issues that might come up in the future (ie children and marriage)?
If you want to preserve the relationship with your man and your sanity, there are a couple things you could try. Maintain a separate presence from her. Don't go to her house for dinner, don't invite her to gatherings at your place, keep a distance from her. Have all dealings with her go through your man. Be polite and cordial when you do see her, don't give her fuel for the fire.
Tell your man what you are and are not willing to tolerate. Fill him in on the boundaries you have established for yourself. Enlist his support on the issues you won't budge on. For example, my ex's mother came over without calling first. I told him that she MUST call before she came over and he had to be the one to inform her of this rule. I also asked him to be the one to talk to her if she broke it. Another one I got help on was that when me and my ex had plans that did not include her (such as a date night or vacation), we stuck to those plans. And he had to be the one to tell his mother that he was going to go out with me, not come over for another family dinner.
Also, could you move a considerable distance away? Could you move far enough away for her to not be a part of your daily life? This can help take some of the daily stress of this situation away and give you and your man alone time.
In the end, you have to decide for yourself if the relationship with your man is important enough to you to tolerate her. She is always going to be his mother, you can't change that. But, you can change your attitude and how you approach the situation.
Good luck!
2007-03-28 13:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by dehalima 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kill her with kindness. Talk to your man and tell him it's causing a problem for you and what does HE think you should do. He knows his mother very well so he would know how to best deal with her.
2007-03-28 12:30:08 · answer #5 · answered by Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER put down a man's mother. That's bad news. Just ignore her. Be nice.
It's a cliche, but two wrongs do not make a right.
2007-03-28 13:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by retropink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you're with him, you'll always have his mother as baggage.
It's up to your man to tell his mommy to back off, because if you do it, I guarantee she will resent you more and cause more problems than what its worth.
2007-03-28 12:31:00 · answer #7 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bite your tongue and don't add fuel to the fire. My best advice is to avoid talking to her or seeing her without seeming like you're avoiding her.
2007-03-28 12:27:47 · answer #8 · answered by Moon Crystal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple! avoid her at all costs! tell your lover that you want nothing to do with her! and you will dump him, if he persists on taking you to be around her!
2007-03-28 12:27:28 · answer #9 · answered by daniel d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move out...then u will not longer have to deal with it
2007-03-28 12:26:21 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋