Your boss wants to send a brief email message welcoming employees recently transferred to your department from

Question

Your boss wants to send a brief email message welcoming employees recently transferred to your department from your Hong Kong branch. They all speak English, but your boss asks you to review his message for clarity. What would you suggest your boss change in the following email message, and why? Would you consider this message to be audience centered? Why or why not? Revise the email so that it follows effective communication guidelines.

"I wanted to welcome you ASAP to our little family here in the States. It's high time we shook hands in person and not just across the sea. I'm pleased as punch about getting to know you all, and I for one will do my level best to sell you on America."

After researching cultural differences between the United States and Hong Kong, what advice would you give your boss?

Answer 1

This is completely inappropriate for so many reasons:
*Asians do not shake hands, they bow
*too many cultural phrases that they (Hong Kong) would probably not understand or may mean something different there
*ASAP just sounds rude
*It is impersonal...seems more like it would turn the Hong Kong branch off from the Americans...not welcome them.
*level and best are opposites, do best not level best

Here is a more appropriate form of the it:
"We, here at the American branch of Company X, would like to welcome you, our new friends and colleagues from the Hong Kong branch. We are enthusiastic to have your unique perspective integrated into Company X. We hope to maintain open communication and develop a positive working environment, where we can learn from each other and improve Company X. Again, welcome."

Answer 2

After I finished laughing at this email - here is my suggestion
" I would like to welcome our recently transfered fellow employees to our team. I am confident these new additions will be a positive asset."

1 - they know they are from Hong Kong
2 - They know you are from America
3 - he is saying Americans are better than the people from Hong Kong - I would not want to get into that debate at this time
4 - too many slang phrases
5 - a simple welcome is appropriate, but do not highlight any differences.

Answer 3

If this is for real, I would ask for a transfer. He sounds as if he sold used cars as some point( At a dirt lot. Third tree from the left)

"I wanted..." I hear this and I am thinking,"Well, why didn't you"?

"Little family"?, "high time"?, "pleased as punch"?, "level best"? YEEE HAH! That boy has a way with words,don't he!!

I would suggest to your boss that Hong Kong probably does not understand colloquialism and to be professional in his speech.(Do it nicely-you still want your job)

Answer 4

Remove the "ASAP".
The "pleased as punch" also doesn't sound appropriate - it's not business like. Also remove the part about selling them on America. That might not be understood, and perhaps it's best if it's not understood :-)). Remove the words "high time" as well. Basically the whole e-mail needs revision.

I liked the suggestion given by the 3rd answerer.

Answer 5

Brazil

Answer 6

How would you transcribe not translate the following Welcome message ...."I wanted to welcome you ASAP to our little family here in the States. It's high time we shook hands in person and not just across the sea. I'm pleased as punch about getting to know you all, and I for one will do my level best to sell you on America."

In each of the following Brazil, Russia, India and China in English