Affair...should I tell the wife?

Question

I have been having an affair with a married man for almost 2 years. He says he loves me, and I see it...I love him very much as well. Should I come clean and tell his wife? I don't know her, nor do I want to know her, but I think she should know.

Let me add these details....I am ending it with him. We haven't had sex in awhile, as we haven't seen each other, but still talk on the phone for hours daily. I am not trying to achieve anything for myself, as I am leaving him, but I still think she should know because I would want to know.....one more thing...I didn't know he was married until about 6 months into it.

Answer 1

you are one pothetic peice of garbage.

what the heck are you thinking having an affair with him? it's sad really if you ask me.

if you think that this so called man is going to leave his wife and be with you, then just think about this:

if he's cheated on his wife then what's going to prevent him from cheating on you? hummmmmm?

answer that!

Answer 2

How low can you go? You have come between a man and his wife. Do you even care that he made a commitment to his wife before God? Marriage is sacred because God created it. You should have found a man who was not married. I guess they are too boring for you. Women like you are not happy unless they are breaking up some other
marriage! All will give an account to God for the misery they have caused. You are no exemption to the rule! You should not have gotten involved with a married man in the first place! His love and loyalty belongs to his WIFE! When you and this scum bag finally get together after he has caused his wife pain, remember what YOU did to this other woman, because the same will be done to you! What comes around, goes around! If he cheats on his wife, he will cheat on you! Some people have no morals and only think of themselves! Ladies, what ever happened to morality? Leave married men alone! Please tell her so she can be checked for any STDs that you or that cheating hubby may have passed to her! If I were her I would let you have the loser, the both of you belong together. This way, we can see who cheats on who the most. You do not seem to understand the word married or committed anyway. You would lose your luster to him very quickly and he would do the same to you! It is what you deserve!

Answer 3

I believe you when you say you are in love with him. But I do have a hard time believing that he loves you. I will tell you why. He's still married. Not only is he disrespecting her, he is doing it to you. Think long and hard about this. If you decide to tell his wife, he will show you his true colors. But in a way this can show you the truth. But this is scary with all the "craziness" out there I wouldn't want you to get hurt physically by anyone. So you need to be safe. If you decide to tell his wife and he acts in a way that you didn't think he would. Leave him alone. You shouldn't pursue this. It will prevent you from meeting someone that will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Loving someone that is already in a relationship is very time consuming and not worth it. I truly hope that you can resolve this. Good luck.

Answer 4

I guess you are expecting some ugly answers on this one, so I won't tell you how wrong you are for the affair.....I will tell you that by no means should you tell his wife. An affair will only last so long until the spouse finds out. I don't believe in hurting anyone who is completely innocent, and she doesn't deserve to be hurt. I do however think he needs to be ........well, I won't say that........but, you better think about it before you make that call because if it were my husband and some woman told me she was having an affair with him, I would go completely redneck on somebody.......good luck, and just so you know, you deserve better than him also.......find someone who can love you and you alone.

Answer 5

Why would you get involved with a married man? Try a little self control and get the hell out of there. If you wanted this relationship, you should have been smart and done it the right way. Now there are consequences, and no one knows how to deal with them. How stupid! It really is. What the heck is wrong with people? And I definitely agree with the other guy. You should stop and think...he is cheating on his wife! Why would he think twice before doing it to you? What a great man you found! Good luck. You shouldn't be on here asking advice from strangers, you should be taking control of your life and grow up and exercise a little self control. Smarten up!

Answer 6

Why would you even consider having an affair with a married man?Would you want someone to do that to you.In reality though he is also cheating on you because he has a wife does that not discust you?Its women like you that ruin happy homes.Im sure you have your reasons and your not gonna explain your whole life here but you really need to stop.You are making other women look bad by doing things like this.Its not only your fault but his fault also,he makes men look bad.What you and him are doing is totally wrong,think about it.Its not your place to tell his wife anything,its his responsibility

Answer 7

tell the married man to tell his wife about you! Is he going to divorce his wife because of you? if the answer is no, then i do not think he love you.. then you do not have to come clean n tell his wife. you should leave the man and move on. There will be a better single man out there waiting for you!

Answer 8

Why don't you just leave the married man alone? He's not available to you, homewrecker. Tell his wife or not, she'll find out eventually. But you should stop seeing this man immediately. If you guys really love each other, then wait until he's free, and then go for it. Just remember what Dr. Phil says, if they do it with you, they'll probably do it TO you.

Answer 9

If he hasn't told his wife by now, he doesn't love you the way he says he does. You are breaking up a home. It is a big deal. You need to look at the reason you feel for a man that was already attached. You also need to get as far away from him as possible - before you end up on Cheaters!!!

Answer 10

Why do you feel the need to tell his wife........and if he LOVES u, why does he have you as "the mistress" for 2 years.......do you think that telling his wife will validate your relationship? What are you getting out of this if you feel the "need to let her know"? Hope you are smart enough to get your own man one day and back off someone else's! Hope you never have to be the one that has to be let known.

Answer 11

I hate to be one of the millions who would tell you this, but here goes...........honey, after 2 years and he hasn't left his wife HE ISN"T GOING TO LEAVE HER. So yes, by all means call the wife and tell her, since one of two things will happen here.......
A-Tell his wife, she will be so angry that she will pack up and leave him or put him out of the home then you can have him by default. (having him by default would suck, since that says that she left him and he has come to you after his wife left him)
OR
B-She will be angry that he is having an affair, but they both decide to make it work and try.

Why do you women put yourselves through this time and time again. NOTHING good comes from an affair. They rarely work out and you end up lonely on holidays, weekends and you see him only of a fraction of the time. Why would you want to play second fiddle to another woman. Why accept that when he leaves you, he goes home to his wife, who he has sex with, sleeps with, shares intimate moments with. He is married and isn't leaving. Don't put yourself through this and his innocent wife through this and children if he has any.