If you are married, do you think you spouse should help around the house?

Question

I'm an at home mom with a 1 and half year old and a 2 month old. I feel as though I am a good mother and wife. I make sure there is dinner everyday, I do laundry, I clean the house. I do everything, but work. Do you think it is too much to ask for my spouse to help out a little or at least not make it harder by being a total slob and leaving his shoes everywhere and not cleaning up after his mess.

Answer 1

Well, I think that since he works full time, you should do the majority of the housework, but yes, he needs to be an adult and not leave messes strewn about like a child. Most adults I know put their shoes away when they take them off and put their plates in the sink when they are finished with them. You may need to consider approaching him and asking him to consider the weekends your days off as well, because I can only assume that you don't have "off days" since you "work at home."

Remind him that you are doing the most important job in the world, raising his children in a loving environment!

He should also be spending time with his children and giving you breaks and moments of peace when he is home! I work in family law and see so many marriages end because men do not do this for their wives and the wives begin to feel like they are "single parents" and their husbands are just another child-like being in the home. Please stand up for yourself a little and ask him for breaks. Do not let him take what you do for granted, but also keep things in perspective and know that he probably works very hard to provide you the opportunity to stay home with the children. CHEERS!

Answer 2

I recently went back to work after 2 years of staying home with my children. While I was a stay at home mom I did all the house work, cooking, laundry, shopping etc. I mean everything. I think that is what you are supposed to do. Your husband needs to understand that what you do is 2 full time jobs. You don't get weekends or holidays. You work 24/7! He should not come home at the end of the day and undo all that you worked so hard to achieve. I told my husband this.." I don't go to your job and mess up the job you just finished!" He should pick up after himself. Ya know what you can do is this to drive your point home. The next day he has off go out. Leave at the same time he does for work and don't come home till dinner time. He'll have to do all that you do and he will see that you don't sit on your butt watching soap operas all day! Maybe he will be a little more sympathetic to your needs.

Answer 3

Absolutely!!!! If for the simple reason of showing love. If he loves you and you are his partner in life he should want to make your life easier and better whenever possible. I am a stay at home mother of two also. Everyday I wake up to the same thing cook, clean, clean, clean, cook, clean... I do it with love for my family. My husband also helps with love to help me, to help us. He understands that although his work is more physically demanding than mine, he's out of the house, socializing with other adults, eating his lunch, while it's hot and not having to share it with any one. He understands if he comes home and helps out before bed that it is an aferdiciate and like they all say if Momma's happy everyone's happy. This is a partnership not a negotiation. If he loves you then he will help out around the house. If he works 14-16 hours of intense labor 7 days a week then the least he can do is keep his things neat.... if he works any less than that then he needs to be engaged at home. He needs to stop his selfisness and narrow minded thinking. Some men stand behind roles for women and roles for men... like the old days !!! Well these are not the old days these days are more demanding from families, there are more distractions, more is needed to even survive, these times are very different and we should all rise and evolve with change.... but again if he LOVES you this is all a given. And you also need alone time even if an hour or two once a month or once every other... even if to go do your nails and have lunch. Remeber you are always home he goes out every day... but that's another topic.

Answer 4

It is only fair that he try to make things easier on you. Having two children under the age of two is not easy, and provides little time for house cleaning, that you are keeping up so well, is amazing! Good for you for being able to do so much! :) But he needs to help. He goes to work, and comes home, and his job is done for the day. Yours on the other hand starts the second your eyes open in the morning until they close at night. He needs to understand that you need just a bit of help. Is there a particular chore you would like help in most? The dishes done after supper? Clothes picked up off the bedroom floor? Start small and work from there. When he does the small things though, thank him sincerely, even if you feel he didn't do a good job, and let him know how much it means to you that he's willing to help you. Men need to feel respected and appreciated, and when they do, they are more often willing to help out more. I wish you all the best with this growing family. :)

Answer 5

Yes he should, I worked, help clean the house,
help iron, helped in raising the children, wash my
work around the house clothes at times, cook,
wash dishes, and even though I am retired now I
still do all the above except for the children as they
are grown now. So I am as macho as any other
man but I am not ashamed to put on an apron if
you know what I mean why because I love my
wife and I will always do anything to give her a
break now and then.

Answer 6

You do work everyday! Being a stay at home mom is hard work! He gets a day off and literally gets paid cash for what he does daily. Being a stay at home mom there is NO scheduled days off, none! Also ask him what he feels when the kids get older and they leave stuff lay around is he teaching them right?? Or how about that you go on strike then he can see what he leaves lay around and where pick up only your things, wash the clothes that are in the hamper ONLY, pick up after the kids. If it drives you too nuts with the stuff laying all over pick it all up and put it in a box, tote or crate and carry it to his designated area of the house!

Answer 7

Of course he should help out. Cleaning up a house is much more hardder than working on a job. Trust me. There is mold, old food, dirty and smelly clothes, dirty dishes, dirty sheets, and it sounds like you got dirty dippers too. He can make life a lot easier for you by picking up his own clothes and shoes and putting them where they need to be. He probably thinks that cleaning up at home is your job since you don't have a regular job. If he thinks that way then you should ask for your paycheck on friday (lol). Seriously, you should talk to him. Tell him that being at home and cleaning up is just as hard as working at any job and that he is that annoying co-worker that doesn't do all his work and leaves it for you to do "because you know all about that stuff and you do it so well." Tell him that all you want him to do is pick up after himself because you are already cleaning up yourself and the babies. Tell him that the babies take up a lot of your time (between feeding them, changing them, stopping them from crying, playing with them, cleaning them up) and that if he would help out more it would mean a lot to you. It's not just your house, it's his house too. And marriage is a partnership. He needs to chip in.

Answer 8

let me put it like this marriage is a two way street and men know that women can handle all of those things no problem. but..its not a bad thing to ask for help. now I'm not saying to yell and fight about it just here and there ask him babe can you go get the laundry out of the dryer please. if he is a good man he will do it for you. one thing you have to under stand is a mans frame of mind is so different from ours while we are thinking in our head this jerk don't help with anything hes thinking wow she is a true soldier. about cleaning up where he messes now that may be a tough one unless you make it really clear to him babe do you think you can start putting your shoes here when you get home you should have no problem, but also don't be surprised if in a few days they are right back where he used to put them. and its not because he doesn't listen to you its just the way some men are. communication is the key to all relationships if you use it the right way. and your doing a great job mom.

Answer 9

Of course, you cant have time to do it all and then clean up after he came home and made more of a mess. At least get him to cooperate by not making more mess. If he uses something to put it back in its place and besides he has to be an example for his children, you dont want them to grow up doing the same thing and then you be picking up after three slobs... do you?

Answer 10

Don't forget, you 'work' too! You are keeping the house in 'running' order. Caring for the children is no easy task either. You deserve a break too! Your husband (not knowing what type of work he does) may come home exhausted, and may need a moment to unwind. Whats the def of a 'moment' ? Just a few minutes.... then he should be more than willing to embrasse his children and relieve you of your day. He should at least be able to pick up after himself, mow the lawn, take care of any maintenance around the house, and especially be considerate to you for standing beside him.