If you are married , are friends allowed?

Question

If you are married are you allowed to have friends of the opposite sex? How far is too far when it comes to your friends of the opposite sex?

Answer 1

New and old friends are okay, as long as your spouse is ALWAYS included in this friendship. But I agree with the above comment; anything that makes your spouse uncomfortable is defiantly too far.

If I meet a great person (from the opposite sex) who I become friends with I would like for my husband to meet and become friends with him as well. By meeting new people I don’t mean going out and looking for anyone. Example: New co-workers, friends of friends, neighbors, ect.

If I have an old friend that I enjoy having a friendship with I would most defiantly like to continue that friendship and share it with my husband.

Answer 2

I think alot of it has to do with what kind of friendship it is. Most often seems to be definitely alright if you have known the person for a long time like a friend you have had from before and you both understand it all well.
That wont make for any problems.
But it is true that it can send the wrong message if you are making many friends of opposite sex when married. Not that it is wrong of itself but it can lead to things that might be bad. It's just good to admit that cause we're all human and mistakes, even simple ones can be made that could hurt a spouse.
Just something to keep in mind.

Answer 3

This is kinda of a two way street. If it is you with the "guy friends", then you have to think about how your husband feels. If it is him with the "girl friends", then he should do the same. My husband and I have mutual friends of both sexes, some are married couples, some are single........but neither of us have just an opposite sex friend that is only ours. Even if it is totally innocent, there is always room for doubt and to keep things good at home, why allow doubt into the relationship.........good luck

Answer 4

It truly depends on who the husband or wife is calling friend, as it is suspicious, unless of course they had a long history prior to the wife or husband coming into the picture, and they are now all mutual friends. I think it is dangerous for your partner to spend too much time with someone else of the opposite sex, as they are seeking the company of another, this could be trouble. This does not mean you don't trust your partner, this just means you question the friends motives for seeking out your partner's friendship.

Answer 5

Friends are o.k. to have has long has that is all they are.And has long has you give no room for misunderstandings.I am old fashioned in certain respects.I don't think have a friend of the opposite sex is bad.But I also do not believe that it is appropriate to be alone with that friend.A married man has no business going out to say lunch or dinner with the friend of the opposite sex without it being for business purposes or his spouse being present.There shouldn't be anything that you do with the friend that you can't do in front of your spouse.

Answer 6

It depends how your spouse feels... but personally I got rid of any opposite sex friends when I met my husband, out of respect and faithfulness. I didn't want to give him a reason to not trust me. Not to mention, I don't really see the point in having other guy friends. Yes, it may be nicer to hang out with the guys sometimes... but in reality, you've got the only guy you'll ever need. You don't NEED guy friends, so why keep them around?

My husband doesn't have any friends of the opposite sex either. We really make sure we watch how friendly we are when meeting new people, too. Sometimes friendliness can come off as flirting. Which is never good.

So, I'd say it depends on your husband and how he feels. But if you want to make him feel special and respected, ditch the men you don't need in your life and show him he's all that matters.

Answer 7

I'm married, and have friends of the opposite sex, HOWEVER, I don't seek these friends out, and they are either people I know in a professional sense and we work well together, or they are people I know through my husband. I firmly believe that in a good marriage, you should not seek for something OUTSIDE of the marriage what should be INSIDE of the marriage. If you do, that's going too far. If I need something from a man (and I'm not just talking sex here), the first person who comes to my mind is my husband. If I want a male point of view, I'm always, always, ALWAYS going to talk with my husband first. If he wants the female point of view, he'll talk with me first. I believe your spouse should be your absolute best friend.

Answer 8

"Allowed?" By whom? See, there's no Universal Marriage Rulebook (wouldn't it be easier if there were?) that tells you what you can/can't do in every situation. Each marriage is individual, created by and for the two people in it. It has to work for both, or it's not working at all.

By "friends," do you mean companions, or something else? I'll assume you mean buddies, not bedhoppers. Friendships with people of both genders are healthy and can contribute a lot to a marriage, giving support, a sounding board, someone to do the stuff with you that your spouse doesn't like to do (if you like to rock climb and he's afraid of heights, a friend who likes to scale stone could be a big help).

Friends can add a lot to a relationship. They can also subtract something vital, IF. If you become closer to your friend than to your spouse, if the friendship interferes with your marriage ("I can't go to your Grandma's funeral - my buddy and I are climbing Mt. Hood that day), if the friendship crosses boundaries ("we couldn't help ourselves" is ALWAYS untrue), then it's a problem.

If none of those things is true and your spouse still has a problem - does he have reason not to trust you (if you love to flirt, expect that he won't want you to get within fifty feet of anyone else)? If a reasonable outside observer would say "no, there's not a hint of a reason to doubt you," then you need to address what his concerns are and why he feels that way - and a marraige counselor might be a big help.

Easiest is if you both befriend whoever it is and you and whosis see each other as part of a group, not alone. Spouses who don't rock climb, to continue the example, might still enjoy gathering at the base for a party.

Answer 9

Yes, to a limited degree. I have friends of the opposite sex who I am in contact with via phone or email occasionally. My spouse is not threatened by this situation as these are people that I have known for years before we were married through various employers and we have a history. It is not a situation where I am out looking for new friends of either sex.

Answer 10

There is no right answer to this. Modern times, mon. Society norms are out the window. We have to make up our own rules and find mates who are on the same page.

Personally I think opposite sex friends are seldom without attraction or ulterior motives and hanging with them is obnoxious and disrespectful to your mate.

It's often about the girl not being able to be a real friend so she recruits guys willing to play the waiting game as friends.

But if it works for both of you, no problem.

I always end up with girls who have lots of opposite sex friends and few same sex friends. These guys have no interest in being my friend too and are wishing I would just drop off the face of the earth. She tells these 'friends' that she has a boyfriend and pretends that settles the issue then goes on to accept big favors and do things to lead the poor guys on.

But if I say a word about it, it is suddenly about me being insecure. So obnoxious.