OK well my mom and dad are going through a separation after 15yrs,and now they are going through alot of difficult problems.For one thing my dad is in the Navy and is alway gone.My mom always felt alone and so she ended up looking for love from some else and my dad ended up finding it out.They have two kids together thats in the middle.My dad is willing to give it another chance but my mom can't seem to let the other man go cause I think she is afriad that it wont work with my dad and wants to keep him on the side,she doesn't love this other man but he is the one helping her keep her apartment.Anywho she always runs back to my dad but wont come home,I think she is scared to take a chance?How do I help her see that her family is here with us and not with the other guy?
2007-03-28 04:29:10 · 8 answers · asked by carmel_cutie26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My mom and dad have two young girls together and mom has nothing with the other guy.So why is so hard for her to just let him go and not to give on her family?
2007-03-28 04:52:04 · update #1
ok i forgot to mention that I'm 26yrs old and my mom's oldest daughter and my stepfather raised me since I was 8yrs old when he came into my life.So he is the only father I've ever known.Thank you everyone!!
2007-03-28 05:00:39 · update #2
First of all I want to say that although you don't say how old you are...you sound very mature and grounded! Talk to her and tell her how you see things..just like you told us! Love is all about taking risks for those you love....you said she doesn't love him...if this is true then it is not worth risking losing her husband and family! Tell her that word for word. Things may or may not work out with her and your dad, but if she doesn't end things with this other guy, then it is DEFINATELY not going to work out with your dad...I'd choose the road that at least gave me a fighting chance! All marriages go through trials and tribulations...I'm sure she knows this....but some things take time! I hope this turns out for the best for all of you! Good people often make very poor decisions...but with love and forgiveness and support from family, we're all capable of changing and putting those things in the past!
2007-03-28 04:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off you need to realize that if your mom and dad do wind up splitting up, they're leaving each other, NOT their children. That's very important for you to realize, this really has nothing to do with you, you're not a factor in their marriage, you have no repsponsibility for their marriage, you do not cause their marriage to be good, bad or otherwise.
2nd off, you know WAYYY too many details about this, I'm assuming your mom or dad have been confiding in you, and that's gotta stop, because what they're really trying to get you to do is choose sides, and that's so grossly unfair to you it's not funny. The next time a parent comes to you and starts discussing the other parent, you need to be a heck of alot more of an adult than they are, and tell them this. "I'm sorry you and Mom/Dad are having so many problems. I love you both very much, and want you both to be happy. Please quit bringing your problems with Mom/Dad to me, because I'm too young and don't have the wisdom to know what's the best situation here. I don't want to discuss Mom/Dad with you anymore, ok?" Then, stay out of it. You're having to learn this at a very early age, but NEVER NEVER NEVER get involved in ANYONE'S marriage but your own. Things are completely different inside the marriage than from the outside looking in.
I'd also suggest to your parents that they get some form of counseling, you could probably use it too, as well as your sibling. Family counseling will help your family get through these tough times, and hopefully find a workable solution for everyone. Best of luck to you all.
2007-03-28 04:44:09 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you can help the most is to be supportive and trustworthy. You mom is failing to identify the real problem and is using the other man as a crutch to hold her up. Often times our own insecurities are clouded in drama. Attempt to explore with your mom her true fear. Not the one that appears on the outside. Rather than continuously discuss the situation of husband or boyfriend. Try to assist her to find herself. Out of this exploration the answers will be clear for her. You then accept her decision.
2007-03-28 05:07:11 · answer #3 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't fair to put you in the middle of all this conflict. I'm sorry that you're going through so much. The only thing you can do is to tell your mother how you feel. Let her know that you need her, and that you want her in your life, with you and your dad. Having two children with this other man though makes it just as hard, especially if she cannot bring them with her, as they too need a mother figure. I would say it is best if you sit down and talk with her and let her know just how you feel, what you're thinking, and even offer to help with the kids if she chooses to bring them back with her.
2007-03-28 04:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by Kendra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mother she is being selfish...putting her feelings above her husband and her family.
2007-03-28 04:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flip a coin..
2007-03-28 04:40:45 · answer #6 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
Your really shouldn't know all of these details.
But you do so,
Tell her how you feel.
That's all you can really do.
2007-03-28 04:35:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you can. Sorry.
2007-03-28 04:36:07 · answer #8 · answered by mikey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋