What are the steps for accepting yourself?

Question

What are the steps to accepting yourself - the flaws, the good things, the things that society doesn't accept?
I need this for a workshop, so links & refrences & videos would be excellent.

Quotes as well!

Answer 1

The Four Levels of Happiness
by Marie Harkins and Camille De Blasi

Every person in the world wants to be happy, and the search for happiness unites us as human beings. But we live in a world that seems custom-made for unhappiness ­ a world riddled with disease, injustice, loss, poverty, war, death, pain, and misfortunes of every kind. Can human beings find happiness in a world like this? Many psychologists, psychiatrists, philosophers, sociologists, and other deep thinkers believe that the root of most unhappiness comes from a narrow understanding of human meaning and purpose. This article will address four different ways to interpret human meaning, called "the four levels of happiness," and it will lead to nine other articles which discuss how these interpretations of human happiness affect our understanding of success, quality of life, love, suffering, freedom, ethics, personhood, rights, and the common good.

Happiness Level 1 is physical pleasure and possession. It is the most basic level of happiness, and comes from physically stimulating the five senses in a positive way. It is experienced as "feeling good" or "having things." For example, biting into a thick steak cooked to perfection, or cruising around in a brand-new Ford Mustang may make you happy. Happiness 1 is good. The desire for physical satisfaction gives us increased incentive to keep our bodies healthy and to continue to populate the world.

But there is a serious problem if human beings begin to seek physical pleasure and possessions as if they were the only, or the most important good. The happiness that comes from Level 1 is immediate, and then gone. It is very shallow (that is, it does not use any of our deeper powers to create, to care for others, or to unite persons). And it does not allow us to connect to anyone beyond ourselves in any meaningful way. If we live only for this type of happiness, we will find ourselves constantly driven to hoard material goods and to indulge in physical pleasures, and we will be exceedingly unhappy in the long run. We will become bored, restless, lonely, and afraid of material loss; we will experience a lack of self-worth and direction; and we will feel like we are living beneath ourselves. This unhappiness (called "Crisis 1") occurs because the human person is made for something deeper. The key to a healthy pursuit of Level 1 is to keep it directed toward the higher levels. In other words, use Level 1 as a tool to get to Level 2.

Happiness Level 2 is ego-gratification. It can take shape as fulfilling the desire for being better than others, being successful, or being admired, popular, powerful, or in control. These are not bad desires, and pursuing them can be good. For example, if you are a teacher of young children, having authority and maintaining control is important for organized learning. If you are a successful business owner, having a healthy sense of being "better than" the competition can lead to employee morale, more effective systems, and better products which will help people in the end. Level 2 is higher than Level 1 because it is longer-lasting and requires more skill.

But problems arise again when we seek Level 2 as our "end" ­ that is, as the most important thing in life. Can you imagine what would happen if a large business owner began to believe that "being better than the competition" was what made his life worth living? How quickly would he begin to sacrifice the good of the greater community in order to gain a larger share of the market? There are many real-world examples of this, and of the devastation it causes to innocent lives. Aside from the cultural consequences, overemphasizing Level 2 also leads to personal consequences (called "Crisis 2"). If a person's whole view of happiness comes from gaining a comparative advantage, the result is not happiness, but suspicion of others, fear of losing, resentment toward those who are better, contempt for those who do not achieve as much, withholding information, anger, emptiness, depression, anxiety, aggression, passive aggression, jealousy, an exhausting drive to achieve more and to look better at the expense of personal relationships and growth, and a crippling dread of being viewed as "inferior." In short, seeking Level 2 as an end in itself will lead to serious dysfunction and profound unhappiness. To extract ourselves from the downward spiral of the comparison game, all we need to do is direct our Level 2 desires toward the higher levels. For example, use Level 2 as a means to a Level 3 end.

Happiness Level 3 is commitment and contribution to others. It is the kind of happiness that comes from trying to make the world a better place, or to make a positive difference in the world through self-sacrifice (great or small). This might come from belonging to an organization that is trying to help disadvantaged people, donating to a charity that cares for vulnerable populations, taking care of our families or friends, or even doing or saying something kind to a passing stranger. Level 3 happiness results from our attempts to bring truth, love, justice, peace, and unity into the world. It is higher than Level 2 because it can last for a very long time, requires deeper commitment, and leaves a greater effect on the world.

But, as good as Level 3 is, we run into a problem here as well (called "Crisis 3"). It doesn't take long for human beings to discover that what we really want is perfect, absolute, unconditional, infinite, and eternal truth, love, justice, peace, and unity. But if we are stuck in Level 3, expecting that our final happiness will come from our own contributions in the world, we will begin to believe that we, as human beings, must be able to fill this very real desire for perfection and ultimacy. Of course, this will inevitably lead to disappointment, crushed ideals, dashed expectations, and maybe even despair, because none of us is perfect, and we simply can't find ultimate fulfillment in other human beings, no matter how hard we look for it. Nor can we give ultimate fulfillment to others. In order to satisfy our need for unconditional happiness, it is necessary to respect the difference between what is perfect, absolute, unconditional, infinite, and eternal, and what is not. We can prevent our Level 3 desires from descending into an "I have to save the world all by myself" mentality, by allowing our Level 4 desire to direct Level 3.

Happiness Level 4 is giving our lives over to unconditional, infinite, perfect, and unrestricted Love, Truth, Justice, Peace, and Unity. For people who have faith, this might be translated as "surrender to the unconditional love of God." It is the happiness that comes from letting go and letting God direct our desires toward eternal happiness. It is higher than the other levels because it requires complete trust and self-surrender. It requires that we believe that God always wants what is best for us, and it is eternal in its ability to fulfill us. Our desire for Level 4 is sometimes seen as a proof for God's existence; that is: our desire for unrestricted Love, Truth, Justice, Peace, and Unity leads to a reasonable and responsible belief that such a Being must exist in order to be pulling that desire out of us. People without faith may get some relief from the crisis of Level 3 by avoiding the error of trying to extract perfection from others or from ourselves. But there will still be the desire for perfection to contend with. Many would say that the only logical satisfaction of the Level 4 desire is the leap to faith.

The point of this article is not to encourage people to abandon the lower levels of happiness in favor of the higher ones. Access to each of the levels is necessary and good for becoming healthy, whole, and free human beings. Instead, the point is to identify how we can frequently frustrate our own pursuit of happiness by making the mistake of placing the lower levels above the higher ones, or by pursuing the lower levels without allowing them to be guided by the higher ones. But when we keep our eyes focused on the higher levels, we begin to live happier, healthier, freer lives. We begin to live lives that are truly worthy of us.

Answer 2

STEP 1- accept yourself for who you are and learn to love yourself for whom you are a personSTEP 2- understand yourself mentally, physically and spirituallySTEP 3- learn to control your mind, body and emotionsSTEP 4- strengthen your inner self and make it apparent to othersSTEP 5- begin changing what you do not like about yourselfSTEP 6- notice the change in your self-esteem and self-confidenceSTEP 7- have a tremendous amount of pride in yourself People realize that to change and strengthen themselves they must accept themselves and learn how to live with themselves in a productive manner. You need to look at life in a positive way. You need to say to yourself, “OK, I’m not happy with the person, I have become. I need to change and this is what I am going to do about it.” Stop being lackadaisical. This is the first step to healing and strengthening our souls and self-esteem. Be proud in who you are. Be thankful each morning that you can wake up and feel the warmth of the sun and the beauty that surrounds us all.

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Answer 3

You are asking an terrible lot for a person to bond with yet another guy's kids, sweetie. Even in nature, men don't be given different men' kids. Evolutionarily, there's not anything in it for them.... it does no longer extra the way forward for their genes... and find it irresistible or no longer, we don't seem to be all that eliminated from critters. Male lions even kill the cubs of different men, as you understand. No mare will suckle yet another mare's foal.... infrequent in nature. He is certainly the person of the residence, and it's an adjustment that he by myself could make, if he ever even does.... Actually, it used to be no longer an "all of the sudden" factor in any respect... he used to be seeking to please you, and within the method overlaying his instincts.... it could be infrequent for a person to not. Now that he's certainly head of the household, what he can't aid comes ahead... do not pass judgement on him for some thing he can't aid. You, within the identical role could have problem accepting his kids, as the girl of the residence. The Brady Bunch is simply TV, sweetie. Doesn't fairly exist in fact....ask any counselor.

Answer 4

just be true to yourself.. acknowledge your strengths and accept your weaknesses...