Ok. I feel like I do more than I receive. He gets off way more than I get to. Sometimes he acts like he doesn't even want to try. I get frustrated with it and don't even want to do it anymore because I feel like I'm not going to get much out of it anyway. I know that it's not all about me, but I feel like here recently none of its about me. He wants us to communicate, but when I tell him how I feel he gets upset and turns to the other side of the bed. But when I get upset and turn away, its all of a sudden a big freakin deal. He's not a very affectionate person and I feel that this is my only loophole. Help.
2007-03-28 03:59:33 · 26 answers · asked by Amanda 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He can usually get off while trying to get me off.
2007-03-28 04:06:56 · update #1
Perhaps you can ask him to pleasure you first. Ask him to make it a priority. If he refuses, ask him why? That way you can have fun before he does. It's not like you're going to hold out, just change the order around a little.
2007-03-28 04:03:09 · answer #1 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One suggestion is to talk about this OUTSIDE of the bedroom. also, Instead of "telling him how you feel" (nothing wrong with that but it is apparently putting him on the defensive), use techniques in the bedroom to guide him toward the things you like. Also, if you're open to it, try couples therapy or at least get a good book on the subject. There are many, available at major booksellers and online. Good luck.
2007-03-28 11:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't think there's much you can do about it. I know most will not agree with me but it doesn't sound good. These are the times when outside affairs begin, which are wrong. It may be time for a separation and then divorce. I know it sounds harsh but men who are not very affectionate very seldom change. Was he always like this?
2007-03-28 11:46:31 · answer #3 · answered by voodoo man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a little ''battery operated friend'' and when he finds out that you don't really need him anymore he'll start paying you more attention.
Sounds like you've done your part by trying to communicate with him. The not so affectionate thing with him is a selfish act on his part.
2007-03-28 11:08:05 · answer #4 · answered by Cricket 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing never discuss sex problems in bed or after sex.
Secondly feed his ego a little bit. Tell him what it is that he does that you do like first. Then start by saying you want more of the good things,
Then make suggesting about how he could do somethings better.
He will be more willing to accept your suggestions if they don't sound like criticism. And again talk about outside the bedroom.
2007-03-28 11:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to spice things up, and get him to get you off before you do anything for him. It works everytime for me. Be spontanious and do things when he least expects it, maybe he will realize you deserve more than he gives now. I know what you mean about the getting upset part, just don't let him make you feel guilty. It's not your fault and yeah, you have a right to feel upset when this happens.
2007-03-28 11:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm was in the same boat myself. Seems after being with someone for a while, they lose interest. You may want to sit down and talk about where your relationship is going, then subtly insert a discussion about what you like when the two of your are together.
2007-03-28 11:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by belen2499 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some indication you might have a psychopath on your hands. Not sure. Take a look at my website and see if other things line up. In the alternative you might have lost yourself a bit here. Not uncommon. Focus on yourself for awhile. Explore the things that make you tick. You came together for some reason in the past, so renewing yourself is not a threat. More like a welcome home for him.
2007-03-28 12:18:46 · answer #8 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this might not be your cup of tea.....but honey buy a vibrator!!! It works wonders.....you can even use it during your play time with him....that way both od you can enjoy....
TRUST ME.....once you use it (even if you just use it for stimulation not for insert) you will never complain. And the great thing about it is that you can use it WHENEVER you want to.
Bringing this in might get your hubby interested in you more...guys always like a little freakiness.....it helps keep your marriage sparkly!!!
Good luck to you!!!!
2007-03-28 11:04:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about it when you are NOT in bed. When the subject is not at hand and nobody is aroused or "in the mood". Saturday morning or something.
Don't be angry, threatening, or whining. Just tell him that this is about you both being happy and you want it too. You want to help him get you off - make it about him and it's less threatening.
2007-03-28 11:07:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋